Badly Drawn Femme

Forgot to mention the most flattering comments I have received in quite a while: I was in some blissed-out floaty state the other morning I mentioned to Hunter that all the FTMs I had been experiencing of late really made me question the way I conceive of and perform my own gender. Not that I think I am a boy, more that it is getting harder to think of myself as a girl. And the less I imagine myself as explicitly female the more comfortable I feel. H proceeded to inform me that his Darling Girl had recently told him she thought of me as 'genderless', and that he agreed with this. This absolutely floored me, as I was up until now convinced that I was usually figured as a Badly Drawn Femme. Mentioned this to Ali when chatting, and I quote: 'you've definately got your femme moments... but yeah, I wouldn't call you genderless, I'd call you- many gendered? ... it's not an abscence of gender but an explosion of it'. Gender-Abundant? Gender-Glutton? Gender-Excessive? Gender-Irreverant? Or Gender-Irrelevant?

As I said, 'tis all very flattering to me.

But why? And why does it feel odd to lay claim to any sort of gender-variation when I am not 'trans'? Or...? More musing upon this at a later date... work is beckoning now and I need my second coffee to get there.