BrisVegas as Blank Slate

its a pretty city to be true, and a touch warmer than we have it in Sodom, but the glorious Metropolis of Brisvegas continuously reminded of other places:

a particular hill near West End reminded me of a particular hill in Lund

parts of New Farm felt like San Francisco

the skyneedle harked back to Berlin

the river made me think of Perth

the botanical gardens seemed like Sydney, or maybe Melbourne, and one gateway made me think of Central Park

and there were numerous sightings of Auckland and London

it was like wandering through a dream, all mixed up, snippets of here and there and everywhere...

Irony

In Brisvegas last week for a Mother and History conference. Go out foraging for food the first night, hear chanting, look around: Pro-Abortion march going by. Not totally incongruous of course, and I don't think the two were related, but still made us smile.

Happy Anniversary Baby

In just a few days, it will be a WHOLE YEAR since the Monster and I shacked up. Two cities, house renovation, thesis angst and still going strong.

Wow.

writer's block

post-super-meeting ramble:

what is my thesis? what it is about? what is my argument? what am i doing? what should i present when i talk about milk and art at a 'mother' conference next month? ARRRRGH!

she is asking question, making very helpful suggestions, new ways of attack and organisation and inquiry, new methods and means and then she is asking me what i think and all i can think is...

i don't want to directly dissect the discourses being played out, i don't want to write a chronological encycolopedia of the topic/subject/object at hand, i don't want contemplate what an image might mean in a certain context and set of socio-political-econonomic circumstances, i don't want to categorise and logic my passions out of existence, i don't want to argue as much as i want to discuss and play with and dance with and seduce and be seduced by... its not the cold hard 'logic' and 'facts' of the Matter that make me wet, (it never has, and what are the facts anyway)... its the affect, the visceral response, its the twitch and nausea and phantam letdown pains and the tears and the involuntary clenching and the smell and so much stuff that can't be put on a page in tables and figures and ordering of desire and substance and all organisation is pretty much arbitrary anyway and there are so many other connections that never get played out because time and notions of reality and history always take precedence and i just want to write the whole thing in fictocrit because it is the only way that even seems to come even close to capturing any of the essence andthe taste and the spirit and the memory of my subject and maybe i could just do the whole thing in interpretive dance?

inspired to write again at least...

West End Monster

Today is a Perth day somehow-- was just absentmindedly thinking we should take a trip to Freo markets this weekend, remembering the order of the UWA library and contemplating sitting by the river with a pile of books and screeching cockatoos in the trees above. Except I live back East now. Still surprises me some days, nice as it is to be here and all. I miss Bassendean Shopping Village and visiting The Baby and Pearl of Highgate pastries and EVERYTHING about Planet and meeting folk at the Scotto and late night trips to Fresh Provisions and dancing/performing at Zoo and even Pride Women's Sundowners. And my mates of course. Still, will be back for Pride party and parade. Only a few more months to go!

Lucky Stars (Free Will/V Voice)

CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] In astrology, the word "quincunx" refers to a relationship characterized by creative tension. Two planets that are in quincunx are like two people who have an odd affinity for each other, but don't speak the same language. Imagine an Italian woman and an American man meeting at a party and experiencing an immediate chemistry, even though each can barely understand what the other is saying. I bring this up, Capricorn, because these days you're in a quincunx dynamic with pretty much the whole world. To keep frustration to a minimum and enhance the excitement quotient, you should try to crack some of the foreign codes you're surrounded by.

AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Philosopher Buckminster Fuller said that although we are all born geniuses, the process of living tends to de-genius us. That's the bad news. The good news is that 2009 is one of the best years ever for you to re-genius yourself, and the month of June is among the best times in 2009. So how should you go about the glorious task of tapping in to the totality of your original brilliance? Here's one tip. Do what Einstein said: "All I want to do is learn the way God thinks. All the rest is details."

TransLondon Boycott Pride 2009

With good cause it seems. Check out the full report at their website:

'Last year, a successful Pride march was marred at the rally in Trafalgar Square when a number of trans women were denied access to the women's toilets by Pride security stewards. One woman was subsequently sexually assaulted after being told to use the male toilets. Roz Kaveney, one of the women targeted in the 2008 "ToiletGate" incident, explained how she felt Pride London had only ever provided a grudging apology under threat of legal action, and that she felt they had never taken the discrimination against trans women in the 2008 rally seriously.

During the meeting on May 19th 2009, members heard how the democratic and transparent structure used in 2008 to co-ordinate participation of trans groups and the funds made available for transgender attendees, through the elected Trans@Pride committee, has been abolished by Pride London for 2009. Instead, Pride London have imposed their own unelected "representative" for the trans strand. Furthermore, requests for information about funding, how decisions were made and who participated in the decision-making process, have been rebuffed.

Last year, the elected Trans@Pride Committee consulted repeatedly with over a dozen groups and hundreds of individuals over before arranging travel bursaries for trans people to attend from around the country, hosting a breakfast for marchers on the day, commissioning artwork from a local queer artist as a rallying point for trans marchers, producing banners and bunting, arranging trans performers for all of the Pride stages including the main stage in Trafalgar Square and publicising the arrangements widely. In stark contrast, the meeting heard of how Pride London's appointed trans "representative" for 2009 has simply imposed Pride’s vision for trans participation in the march and rally.

The 2009 pride participation is, so we are told, to consist of a float at the very back of the parade which would pander to the most tired and inaccurate media stereotypes of trans people. Trans women would, in Pride's vision, be dressed in sequins, high heels and fairy wings and, apparently as an afterthought, a few trans men would be invited to pose in football strips. The Pride representative explained that the trans float would complement a float at the front of the march with members of the cast of the West End musical, "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert". In her vision, onlookers would be delighted to see "Priscilla at the front and Priscilla at the back". As a coup de grace, a visible cordon of security stewards would surround the trans float, ostensibly "for our own protection". '

Autumn Daze

'Many and many a verse I hope to write,
Before the daisies, vermeil rimm'd and white,
Hide in deep herbage; and ere yet the bees
Hum about globes of clover and sweet peas,
I must be near the middle of my story.
O may no wintry season, bare and hoary,
See it half finished: but let Autumn bold,
With universal tinge of sober gold,
Be all about me when I make an end.
And now at once, adventuresome, I send
My herald thought into a wilderness:
There let its trumpet blow, and quickly dress
My uncertain path with green, that I may speed
Easily onward, thorough flowers and weed'

-- John Keats
'Endymion'



It feels like Autumn more than ever. The hot water bottle is back in use, bedsocks are worn, and porridge is on the breakfast menu. Washing days are planned according to the weather forecast and laundry often finishes drying indoors.

We are preparing the house for the cold times ahead. Sowing silverbeet seeds and stocking up on soup supplies, feeling compelled to accumulate large stores of root vegetables and tinned tomatoes. Yesterday we hung a patchwork quilt from the bedroom window to keep the heat in, last week we bought door snakes to stop the draught. We still need thick curtains and rugs for the bare floorboards, and to locate scarves and gloves and warm hats. I'm planning flanellette pj purchases, and checking out slippers in the winter catalogues. My mother gave us pots of bulbs, and I am happen imagining what lies beneath the damp bare earth. Spring will come, but first it is time to hide away and grow.

I'm preparing for the Winter Writing Frenzy too: have added instant coffee to the collection for wee small hours consumption, am storing up chocolate and office supplies, photocopying masses of articles and chapters, ordering in large numbers of books from the library, sorting out folders and files. Its a matter of getting things in order, clearing my desk and my rubbish bin and making sure I have enough staples and highlighters to see me through the dark times.

And so my fur grows thicker, my fat deposits and my cheeks are stuffed with nuts...

NEW WORLD WITHOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT-- NEWSPAPER (Just came across a flyer for this)

Launch Night
7-10pm Wednesday 20th May 2009
Free

@ Little Fish Gallery
22 Enmore Rd Newtown

Performance/ Free Resources/ Snax

www.worldwithout.org

Kitty, Litters

Our beast of a kitty has decided that a certain side of the kitchen floor is the correct place for her to pee when in the house. As opposed to her litter tray, conveniently located a couple of metres away. Its getting beyond a joke...any ideas on how to stop her? Someone suggested cayenne pepper?

Note The Pronouns *SIGH*

Have been trying to formulate some sort of response to this, but have a monster headache so for now here it is as reported by The Age (on SMH website):

'Court lets girl, 17, remove breasts

* Karen Kissane
* May 4, 2009

THE Family Court has allowed a 17-year-old girl to have her breasts removed so she can be more like a boy.

The teenager, code-named "Alex", was on court-ordered hormone medication from the age of 13 to prevent menstruation and breast development. She returned to the court in December 2007 asking for a double mastectomy to make it easier for her to pass as a boy.

The Chief Justice of the Family Court, Diana Bryant, decided it was in the teenager's best interests to have the surgery immediately rather than wait until turning 18. The teenager had been diagnosed with "gender identity dysphoria", a psychological condition in which a person has the normal physical characteristics of one sex but longs to be the opposite sex. Justice Bryant said: "In the end, it wasn't a particularly difficult issue because the only real issue was, 'Would he (Alex) have it at 17 or once he's 18?' Then, he doesn't need permission.

"So the issue was, 'Was there any likelihood he would change his mind in the meantime, and was it in his best interests to have it at that time?'

"Overwhelmingly, the evidence was that it was in his interests. And I made that order. I wanted to make it quickly so that he could have the operation straightaway."

But ethicist Nick Tonti-Filippini said mainstream medicine did not recognise hormone treatments and surgery as treatment for gender dysphoria. He said it was a psychiatric disorder qualifying under American guidelines as a psychosis because "it's a belief out of accordance with reality". "What you are trying to do is make a biological reality correspond to that false belief."

The Chief Justice said Alex had not had any urgent plans to proceed with further surgery when he turned 18. She did not make Alex wait for the mastectomies until of age because the teenager had been living as a boy since the age of 13. "Everyone was absolutely adamant that he wasn't going to change his mind. He was very comfortable . . . that he was going to continue on this path."

The written judgement is due to be published soon. Justice Bryant said it was better for the teenager to have the surgery at 17 because this was an age where she would qualify for support from state social services. This was also a crucial time in her development: "It's a year when he's really cementing his friendships with peers that will stand him in good stead for moving into university and the wider world, and it was very important to him that he be able to do that confidently as a boy."

Justice Bryant said having breasts constrained Alex socially. She had to avoid being hugged by friends, could not go to the beach and had to wear binding. "So it was quite an impediment to his social development, which everyone thought was very important." The decision was not irrevocable: "You can have prostheses and things. So if he changed his mind later on, it's reversible."

Justice Bryant said she heard evidence from medical experts and from Alex, her counsellor and an independent children's lawyer, and she called in the Office of the Public Advocate "because I wanted a contradictor". The vidence was overwhelmingly in favour of the surgery, she said.

Mr Tonti-Filippini said he was also concerned that in previous Family Court cases involving gender dysphoria, the medical experts had been confined to a small group of Melbourne doctors who work with sex changes. Mr Tonti-Filippini said a Melbourne man who had had sex-change surgery at 22 was now suing his doctors because he regretted the decision and felt they had not explored his doubts at the time.


The Family Court's 2004 ruling allowing Alex to take hormones provoked a debate about when children are old enough to make serious medical decisions. There was another furore about a Family Court ruling in 2007 allowing a 12-year-old girl code-named "Brodie", who also wanted to be a boy, to begin a course of puberty-suppressing hormones. The court was told that Brodie had threatened self-harm at the prospect of her periods starting. It was later claimed by a relative that Brodie's mother had had postnatal depression and had "brainwashed" the child by buying her boy's clothing from the time she was a baby and fostering boyish behaviour. Brodie's father had opposed the hormone move.'

Some Days My Brain Hurts

From NineMSN today:

'Educating children as young as two about how gay parents have children should be a low priority for the NSW government, the opposition says. Responding to a book titled Where Did I Really Come From, which also includes in-depth descriptions of sex, opposition community services spokeswoman Pru Goward said the subject matter was not of interest to young children.The book is advertised as being part of the NSW Attorney General's Office Learn to Include program.

"There is nothing wrong with encouraging tolerance and diversity but why you would do that by talking about same-sex relationships? I find it a mystery," Ms Goward told AAP.

She said the book was more about social relationships than sex education - and that was the responsibility of parents to explain to their children. "Most toddlers won't take much interest, they are more interested in toilet training," Ms Goward said.
"I think there should be other government priorities well ahead of this."

The book's author, Narelle Wickham, says the book is suitable to be read to two-year-olds and has defended it as a mainstream publication. "It is just trying to normalise to children that there are many ways to conceive a child," she told the Daily Telegraph newspaper.'


Umm... did I miss something here? "There is nothing wrong with encouraging tolerance and diversity but why you would do that by talking about same-sex relationships? I find it a mystery" .Mysterious indeed. Perhaps someone should call Poirot?

Silver Linings

* Monster and I are both sick with some sort of (hopefully not porcine) flu-type configuration. Actually more like a headcold, but has knocked us both considerably. On the upside, this has made for many days of cuddling and caring for each other in soft, gentle ways. Of fluffing pillows and making tea and filling up hot water bottles. Aside from feeling like crap its been kinda nice!

* I have given up eating seafood, and have begun to miss it a bit. On the upside, there are many fun mock-meats to help me get through, and I will be scoffing many of them tonight at the Green Gourmet. Yummy!

* I have been researching booze in relation to vegie/veganness. Some of my fave brews do use fish scales and whatnot. On the upsdie, Coopers doesn't. Neither does Grolsch, or many other yummy pints! Huzzah!

* My thesis has been causing me considerable angst. On the upside, the moments when I do make sense of it all somehow and see that glimmer of hope, those magical minutes when I stumble upon a new article or poem that makes it all seem that little more possible... oh! Sheer delight!

Of Dykes And Men

Here is a email I sent to a women's kink list, as a response to the persistent harrassment one of my friends gets whenever she goes out in certain 'pervy dyke' crowds. It's not just her either, its happened to almost anyone with tits and a skirt in the scene, and its bloody tedious. Some days I forget that queer does not exist for everyone, and that for some the pinnacle of lesbian/gay/bdsm enlightenment is apparently the right to behave just as badly as the worst examples of heterosexual mandom (aka the Lord Daddy Master Of The Universe Sirs). Stomp! Now, the email:

'This may seem like a bit of a Miss Manners 101, but needs to be said. Apologies for stating the obvious, but it seems its not obvious to all, still:

As women, whatever incarnation that may take for each of us on this list, we have no doubt all experienced the unwanted attention of sleazy men at some point. The persistent, lecherous, hands in all the wrong places, non-consensual insinuation and groping. None of us would agree that this is the price we should have to pay for going out dressed as we want, where we want, with whom we want. Nobody would accept that short skirt= wants to be molested by creepy dudes. Nobody would accept that being out in public with a partner= invitation for obnoxious men to be aggressive and insulting towards our partner. None of us would suggest that when a slimy guy in a pub cops an unsolicited feel we should just giggle and shrug 'oh those boys! they are soooo cheeky!'.

Now, let's extend this a little. Try to substitute 'butch' or 'top' for 'sleazy man' in these equations. Swap 'corset' for 'short skirt'. And think about it next time you are at Manacle, or a SLPA event, or crawling about the Sly Fox. Maybe the 'femme' in the cincher is not actually 'asking for it' and doesn't want your hands all over her. Maybe the woman out with her girlfriend doesn't actually think you are funny or tough for cutting in and being a smartarse. Maybe when the girl you are hitting on says 'no' she actually means it. Maybe the fact that you are a 'woman who plays with women' doesn't give you an excuse to behave like a horrible ill-mannered straight man.

This is a community that I would expect to be well-versed in the concepts of respect and consent. Sure, you can be flirty, you can be witty, you can make bawdy innuendo and double entendre. You can hunt, you can chase, you can play the game. But the game does have some rules, no matter how long you have been around or how much of a super-top-butch-Daddy you consider yourself to be. Hands off when the 'lady' says 'hands off'. Simple.

If any of you are still struggling with this concept, maybe we could run a workshop? I'll be wearing the fishnets and tutu, and carrying the cattle prod.

Thankyou for your attention.'

Life Drawing

Sydney Leather Pride Association Life Drawing – Tue 5 May

Location: Aurora Gallery

Address: 43 Bedford St Newtown

Cost: Booking essential.

RSVP: curator_leather_pride@yahoo.com.au

Swirling

Swirling takes up all my time
Makes me know that I'm
Above you

Swirling, curling up in smoke
It started as a joke, but
Love you

Moss
Suspended on a grave
And growing in a cave
Where I can carve your name

Love you

Swirling occupies my life
And if I had a wife, she'd
Be you

Swirling takes up all my time
And if that's such a crime, why
Love you?

Moss suspended on a stone
And down the telephone
To where I call your name

Love you

-- Robyn Hitchcock

Ghetto Grotto Update

As I type our Perth belongings are being delivered by the somewhat gruff moving men. Exactly two weeks after they was supposed to get here. Hmmm, am alternately still very miffed about the shoddy service and jumping about with glee at having it all here at long last. So far it all seems to be present and accounted for, double bonus... Our fridge! Our cookware! Shelves! The second conjugal bed! Chairs! Dining table! Coffee table! Artworks! Oh, its like living in a real house again!

So much unpacking and reassembling to do, on so many levels...

Speaking of which, Monster is planning little trips away all over the place whilst I am stuck here in Thesis Town (Melbourne, Perth). Which made me a little jealous until I realised that a) I am very much desiring to stay in one spot at the moment, to the point of hardly wanting to leave the house (nerd attack of a major fashion), b) I get more Uni work done when she is not here to distract me so a few days here and there on my own will be quite handy and c) I will be in Brisbane in July, Newcastle in October, possibly Perth in October and Melbourne late November. This is probably enough travel for one little Monster for this year, no?

WANTED: Perverted Poetry! Leather Literature! Purple Prose!

Yes, its time for Sydney Leather Pride's annual

Bob Buckley Spoken Word at
Aurora Gallery Level 1/43 Bedford St Newtown
Wednesday May 6 from 7:00 pm

If you would like read, recite or ramble your own (or other's) dirty, smutty, filthy, kinky words on the night please register your interest with Micah at micah.horton.hallett@gmail.com . Or just turn up a tad early and he'll fit you in somewhere, somehow (he has a knack for it, promise).

Of course, it needs an audience too, so come be entertained!

Pure And Simple Over You

click here for today's little bubble of sparkle and shine from youtube...

night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows
perhaps someone you know, could sparkle and shine
as daydreams slide to colour from shadow
picture the moonglow, that dazzles my eyes
and i love you

just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

dreams of sights, of sleigh rides in seasons
where feelings not reasons, can make you decide
as leaves pour down, splash autumn on gardens
as colder nights harden, their moonlit delights
and i love you

just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

look at me with starry eyes
push me up to starry skies
there's stardust in my head
pure and simple everytime
fresh and deep as oceans new
shiver at the sight of you
i'll sing a softer tune
pure and simple over you

if love's the truth then look no lies
and let me swin around your eyes
i've found a place i'll never leave
shut my mouth and just believe
love is the truth i relize
not a stream of pretty lies
to use us up and waste our time

lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

look at me with starry eyes
push me up to starry skies
there's stardust in my head
pure and simple everytime
fresh and deep as oceans new
shiver at the sight of you
i'll sing a softer tune
pure and simple over you
pure and simple just for you

-- The Lightning Seeds
'Pure'

Succour

At Perv Box Brownie last night (24th), with Necrotitties-- more pix on my facecrack!

Pink Elephant

More from ABC.net.au:

'A Polish politician has criticised his local zoo for acquiring a "gay" elephant.

Local media reports the elephant, named Ninio, prefers male companions and will probably not procreate.

"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys ($15.5 million) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," Michal Grzes, a conservative councillor in the city of Poznan in western Poland, was quoted as saying.

"We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?"

The head of the Poznan zoo said 10-year-old Ninio may be too young to decide whether he prefers males or females as elephants only reach sexual maturity at 14.'

Breathe In, Breathe Out

From ABC.net.au:

'A bar in Britain is offering the unique experience of entering a room filled with a breathable cocktail.

For five pounds ($10.50) visitors are allowed into a room filled with a cloud of vapourised gin and tonic.

Stays in the room are limited to one hour at a time, which a team of doctors has estimated is the equivalent of between one and two standard drinks.

A spokesman says patrons are being advised to "breathe responsibly".'

Random Acts Of Sydney

Our furniture and other belongings have still not been delivered to us by the company who is moving them from Perth (due one week ago today). Strange, and annoying somewhat. When Monster came home on Sunday afternoon she was greeted with a new doormat, which neither of us had purchased or placed there-- no note or indication of who had either! The mat has flowers adorning it, and is very pretty. Odd. The weather is all over the place-- sunshine one minute and hard showers the next. And on Saturday night we went to Rockin' the Random at a nearby warehouse. Bands, suspension show, and a wild collection of wastrels I hadn't encountered in a long time (one of them now wearning a truly delicious Poirot moustache). It was magnificently trashy, in all sorts of unexpected ways...

Sydney always delivers on the randomness, that's for sure. And I love her for it.

PERV FILM FEST

I be doing something with Necrotitties on the Friday at Box Brownie, and lurking around most of it I should imagine...

PERV
Thursday 23 April - Sunday 26 April 2009
film sessions and opening night $5 each
or
Festival Pass $25, includes opening night PERV Peep Show. The Box Brownie Flash tickets sold separately.


PERV is a new international film, video and performance festival dedicated to QUEEROTICA. Encompassing a four-day program of screenings, installations, panels, parties and play that promise to stimulate, titillate and engage. Highlights include:

The Perv Peepshow Launch party
7pm-10pm Thurs 23 April $5
DJ Tokyolovekitten
Host Mr Big Pants
video sculptures, projections, peek a booth, slides
a celebration of installation, from the radical to the retro.
Drink up the sounds of DJ Tokyolovekitten as you mingle with the works of Lady Penelope, Marion Conrow, the peeping tomboy, Adonis, Kino 55, Samuel Hodge, Regret and more.. Join our special review tour of installation destinations with the honourable member Mr Big Pants.


The Box Brownie Flash 9pm-1am
Friday 24 April $20/$15
A very special night where all experimental media play goes, queer performers bend your lens with KK No Pants, Catheterine and Necrotitties, Adonis, Crash, Sarah Greenwood, Regret, Mighty Hermaphrodity, Stranger Danger, Tara Cook, and more with DJ Gemma and VJ Mim Visuals

Katrina Del Mar PERV’S Festival guest - meet the film maker
6-8pm Saturday 25 April $5
Katrina Del Mar’s infamous gang girls have been tearing up our screens since 2000. As a guest of the festival, this renowned New York filmmaker dishes the dirt on her formidable cast of truck driving sluts, roughnecks, petrol heads, surfer girls and candy lickin’ bikers. Del Mar will also introduce new works A Beautiful Death and Punchin & Crussin. Be one of the first to check out her lecherous lesbian vampires as they sink their fangs into each other at this premiere event.

Archiving tales with Tom Fairweather
1-3pm Sunday 26 April $5
Photographer Tom Fairweather has had his lens trained on the Sydney queer scene for many many years. Join him and Domino (Slit Magazine ed) in conversation over lunch and a cup of tea as they chat about some of his
favourite shots in his newest slideshow.
Food by the amazing Jaffle Café.

Perv International Short Film competition
7-10pm Sunday 26 April
Celebrate the best global purveyors of queerotica with mistress of ceremonies Kellie Jean Drinkwater. Cast your vote for the film that rocks your jocks to decide who takes out the seriously cheeky prize for the Audience Award. An illustrious panel of experts will also be on hand to present the Grand Jury Prize.

Check out PERV for the full film festival program

SPURS ON ANZAC DAY

Drag out your lagerphone and polish your biggest belt buckle for the Spurs be playing! YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

CLick here for info

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us...

An anonymous someone just commented that my blog now bores them. I have taken this on board, and have decided to ask you, my reading public and dedicated fanbase, what you would like from blog. More smut? More art? More gossip? More lactation? More pictures? More stories about porridge? More rants? More opinion? More politics? More bloodshed? More romance? A gardening column? Crochet patterns? Real estate advice?

Of course, you may not all be relying on my blog as a primary source of entertainment. If you are though, do let me know how I can best serve you. Thanks.

Jockette Strap Update

Rang the maker of the mistaken identity underwear, and explained ever-so-nicely that I did not want the girly version of the boy item (so to speak)-- I wanted the one I ordered. He seemed somewhat surprised, and explained in his defence that he didn't quite understand my 'character'. Notions of gender performativity aside, it did appear he thought I was engaged in some sort of vaudevillian cross-dressing. TOO MANY MUSICALS perhaps? Hey, if stereotypes are good enough for the goose...

Whilt I was at I took the liberty to explain that 'girls' may not quite have the kinds of fumblings that he imagined. Or that they might, but that there was a WHOLE LOT MORE TO 'FEMALE' sexuality, and sexuality in general. And some of it was very sticky, and involved accessing parts in ways he hadn't considered. In sufficient detail to just get him to make what we ask for how we ask for it!

Sometimes being patronised would be a lot less horrible if people REALISED they were doing it. I mean, totally clueless to what an insensitive misogynist patronising schmuck he had been. But sweet enough when called on it I suppose? Arrrgh, I get so BORED of this game.

Am I Not Tranny Enough?

Today I went to pick up the leather jockstrap I had ordered a wee while ago. Custom. Black. Leather. Jockstrap. (Yes, like a BOYS jockstrap. LIKE YOU MAKE FOR THE BOYS, the gayboys, the leather gay boys-- just to fit my figure.) Seemingly simple. There was even a picture on the website I was shown. Same thing, with a few minor adjustments.

For reasons unknown it appeared with a very shiny/patent red trim all around it, and nothing at all like the one on the website. Like a girly bikini, sort of, with a jock-strap back. AND RED SHININESS. I have no idea what I did to deserve this horror, apart from having the audacity to be born willy-less. He is changing the trim, thank the god-dess of gender-upending, and I have requested he 'butch it up a bit.' I live in hope.

Of course, the Monster's leather-goods are all black and buckly (if suffering other eccentricities-- what DO BOYS THINK WE 'GIRLS' DO???). Obviously she didn't get red trim or girliness, not when she goes about wearing them trousers all the time, not like me with my skirt-wearing and my curious lipstick. No. All of this from people I thought were 'family'.

Bloody hell. Some days I am tempted to just chuck it all in, start ticking the Miss box on forms and forget all about r/evolution. Its tedious, its really hard work and on certain nights when the lights are out I barely have the energy to even cry about it anymore. But then boys don't cry do they? I love my crew here and will be sad to leave, but I miss my queer family SO MUCH at times like this. Bah. Only four more sleeps.

Ghetto Grotto

Apologies for not updating y'all on my whys and wherefores of late-- has been a busy old time! We head back East this coming Sunday, and have found ourselves the lovely Grotto in the Ghetto. 'Tis nice and central, affordable, we move in next Tuesday with the Tempest (the kitty we be keeping) and should have stuff out of storage shortly thereafter. Fingers crossed it all keeps going so smoothly...

It will be good to be back 'home' for the most part. Miss my family a lot, and my close mates, and my supervisor and my library. And the harbour, my fave dumplings, queer clubs and culture, markets (not very many over here), that kind of thing. I miss sitting in Varga Bar talking Kristeva and performance, I miss wandering through the Gardens after a trip to the gallery, I miss my strange menagerie of artists, activists, poets, writers, perverts and dress-up partners. I need to be back in a world of salons and theatre and magic and wonder! Perth is ever-so pragmatic and I miss the mysteries of my hometown-mistress, its the whitewashed anglican antithesis to my decadent catholic tastes...

Having some hard thinking time about some Sydney-ness though. Being away from the 'scene' has given me space to ponder what I value and what is actually really damaging to me, and reassess the communities and habits I have just fallen into because they seemed to be what fitted best (even though they are often quite unhealthy). Sod that. Have an inkling the secret may be in quality over quantity, but its such a tricky balance I expect. Hmm.

Mixed Business at The Red Rattler

Sex Workers & Lesbians Come Together, Queers, Ho's and Supporters Welcome

'Come and experience the best the inner-west queer sex worker scene has to offer - merchandise, magazines, food, drinks and performance at the wonderful new venue Red Rattler. Dj's. Performers Juliet November, Vashti Hughes, Ginger Schnapps, Mighty Hermaphrodite and Stranger Danger, more to be announced.. $15 waged $10 unwaged entry fee, funds raised go to Scarlet Alliance.'

Host: Red Rattler, Scarlet Alliance, LOTL, and many many more
Type: Party - Benefit
Date: 07 May 2009
Time: 19:00 - 23:00
Location: Red Rattler, 6 Faversham St,Marrickville, Australia

Happy House

After many months of painting, sanding, oiling, cleaning, sugar soap, mineral turps, cuss words, strained muscles, pots of coffee and the odd nervous breakdown the HOUSE HAS BEEN SOLD, SETTLED, VACATED. We said goodbye and thankyou to it yesterday, tenderly mopping the hallway and sweeping down the porch, picking the last of the ripe lemons and grabbing handfuls of fresh rosemary. It was sweet and sad, and today I feel a little lost, but still a feeling that all is right in the world too.

A friend said yesterday that her years have themes (2009 being Beauty). I'm thinking mine is Completion and Closure- project one, Monster's house, is done and dusted. The second major project to get through is my thesis, and that is mostly under control I think/hope.

There's something satisfyingly proper about the way the Monster and I are going about this all, it feels like the way 'we' should begin. A sorting out of the past and honouring where we come from and what we bring to the whole affair, a period of transition and consolidation. Sifting through boxes of books and trinkets, evaluating habits and scenes and ways of being, working out what to keep and what needs to be passed on, what benefits and what stifles.

And so soon to Sydney, but not in a way I have been there before.

International Journal of Gender, Science and Technology

Found this on a list...

The International Journal of Gender, Science and Technology is an
independent, peer reviewed, open access journal that welcomes
contributions from practitioners, researchers and policy makers
concerned with gender issues in and of science and technology. The
phrase gender, science and technology intends to encompass a wide
definition of these disciplines both in terms of methodological enquiry
as well as subjects of research.

Our aim is to help foster and provide a focus for constructive debate
and interchange of ideas between key players and experts in this field.
We are interested in sharing knowledge and new understandings in
relation to policy development, analysis of challenges and responses in
education and employment, critical insights from companies,
professional societies and other organisations about the impact of
gender equality strategies, as well as perspectives from science and
technology studies - and other related issues. We welcome contributions
from a variety of disciplines and interdisciplinary perspectives and
drawing on a wide range of theoretical frameworks.

We are currently inviting submissions in the form of
· Full empirical research and theoretical papers
· Practitioner case studies and reports
· Opinions and perspectives from policy-makers and industry
For further information, including details of the submission process:
http://genderandset.open.ac.uk
Any enquiries please contact Dr Jenni Carr - IJGST Project Officer
(j.g.carr@open.ac.uk)
The first issue will be published online in July 2009 (latest
submission for this issue is April 30th)
Further issues will appear every 4 months. We look forward to hearing
from you!

This journal is being produced by the Open University UK in partnership
with the UK Resource Centre for Women in SET

---------------------------------
The Open University is incorporated by Royal Charter (RC 000391), an
exempt charity in England & Wales and a charity registered in Scotland
(SC 038302).

Bloodhound

'When you start bleeding, you talk all night... Here's the place where the scent got lost'*

On Friday I went along to my local bloodbank to donate some red water. 16gauge, into vein with barely a pinch, bag filled up quickly, and volunteered to give some plasma when I get back to Sydney. Afterwards the nice ladies gave me some cheese and bikkies, and I realised as I spoke to my waiting-room buddy that I was WIRED. Totally hyped and talking at a zillion words a minute. Out on the street, walking to work at great speed, had to call dear Necrotitties to return to some state of semi-calm before I reached the office. Had forgotten the adrenalin rush-- its been a while!

Late in the evening the flood came, the painters arrived, Aunt Flo came to call. Considerably less fun, more painful in a bad way, and less productive (though more cathartic really, being the tears of my unfulfilled womb and all). Maybe I should feed it to the plants, or make art out of it?


*H&C, Dog

Moving Right Along...

Movin' right along in search of good times and good news,
With good friends you can't lose,
This could become a habit!
Opportunity knocks once let's reach out and grab it (yeah!),
Together we'll nab it,
We'll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it!
(Cab it?)

Movin' right along.
Footloose and fancy-free.
Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me.
Moving right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
We'll learn to share the load.
We don't need a map to keep this show on the road...

Movin' right along.
We're truly birds of a feather,
We're in this together and we know where we're going.
Movie stars with flashy cars and life with the top down.
We're storming the big town,
(Yeah, Storm is right should it be snowing?)
(Uh, no I don't think so...)

Movin' right along...

-- The Muppets

Cannot decide whether the Monster is Fozzie and me Kermit, or the other way around. Either way, despite the various disasters and dramas of renovating, packing up and getting out, I'm awfully glad we are moving right along together. Syn City, here we come!

Sucker City

your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
my city's a creep

want we want is what you want
want we want is what you want
is free tv
want you want is what we want
want you want is what we want
is a case of the ha ha ha ha's...


your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city is stoned
your city is stoned
my city's in heat

what we want
sex with movie stars
what you want
a career in the
ha ha ha ha

--lcd soundsystem

beautiful time at zoo club last night (perth), for the launch of SPUNK magazine... genderfukbel and i did a really silly messy dirty gender-mashing show to placebo's 'new morning', with cream 'girl juice' and possum fur pasties and bike boots and facepaint and some other folk made a HOT impromptu bondage demo on stage and dj needlenurse was a drag king ripping out his heart and... bj photoshoots in the back alley and free champagne and innuendo and flirtation and bears and jock straps and so many people i barely recognised coming up to me 'you're leaving?? no! we'll miss you!' and...

i'll miss them too.

GO TO THIS *SYDNEY*

Rumour has it I may be featured in this issue *blush*...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ISSUE 14 Weird Science
yesss its finally hear ! and its an amazing...!!! profiles, fiction, photos, its an awsume issue! Come help us launch the newest member of the Slit Mag family!

A Weird Science Affair to celebrate.
Get your nerd/geek on and get down to see sexy scientists Anna Westbrook, Molly & the Pony, Roborotic, MoJo Ju Ju , with science nerds to predict your sexual future and MC Zoe and with Bocky from Press Eject's playlisting some tunes in between!!


ITS a HUGE Weird Science Affair
Sunday 15th March 4pm-8pm
Red Rattler Theatre
6 Faversham St
Marrickville
Slit Mags $10

with merch from other great indi publishers so if you don't have your trannie trucker cards yet or the new issue of spunk mag bring some extra dosh !!

The Space Behind My Eyes: Tired

And then in the midst of it all I stumbled upon this. Thankyou Smurphe!

The Space Behind My Eyes: Tired

Clicking My Heels

And so I have missed Mardi Gras for the first time in a long time. The photos are slowly creeping onto Facebook-- the Femme Guild, the leather crew, the dancing queens, the hoop stars, the glitter and sparkles and costumes and hugs. The ENERGY, the smiles, the sheer utter joy and celebration of it. Marshalling time, all camera flashes and 'I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!' and catching up with folk you haven't seen since the last Queer Christmas. Swapping eyelash glue and stick on rhinestones, last minute cable ties and beers.

Tonight in Perth I was meant to be going to Zoo club, the one night of the week when the freaks (such as there are here) come out to play. Monster is unwell, and all of my friends have piked for one reason or another. In Sydney this wouldn't matter, I'd be on a bus doing my eyeliner on the back seat, walking up Oxford Street to Phoenix or some other scene of filth and wonder. Even on a Sunday, any Sunday, the laneways and gutters are alive. Here it is GLBT, no Q. Monster has a shirt someone printed years ago. It reads Queer As F&^K, some spiky haired androgyne next to the text, a pair of interlocked + rings alongside a pair of -> rings. Two boys OR two girls, sealed same sex couples, the ultimate in West Aus queer seems to be when the dykes mix with the queens. Nothing is fluid here, not gender or sexuality or politics or passions, and I am still surprised when I smell sweat on the dancefloor. If there are queers in this city beyond my immediate circle, I don't know where they hide.

My hair is spiked and my fishnets ready, all dressed up for another night on the couch. Mostly I am used to it now, I have my routine of lesbian drinks nights and women's reading groups and hanging with my new crew to get me through.

Tonight though, I'm conjuring the smell of amyl across the Nullabor as I settle down on the couch with DVDs and the Monster. Ah, the Monster. Somehow she makes even this okay.

Vegan Recipes...

Friend recommended this site, FatFreeVegan.

AND I just received my copies of Garden of Vegan, and How It All Vegan in the mail.

Cooking frenzy on the horizon...

Bone, Brain

A trembling in the bones may carry a more convincing testimony than the dry documented deductions of the brain. ~Llewelyn Powers

Constant, Craving

Words for when one just wants to sit still and have some certainty of what will happen next. But knows it isn't possible, or even desirable really:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble.
~Henry Miller

The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
~Ellen Glasgow

Femmes Of Power *LAUNCH*

i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry... the march activities in sydney just keep coming! for example:

Slit Magazine with the Femme Guild and Feminist Bookshop
present the Femmes of Power: Exploding Queer Femininities Book launch
by Del LaGrace and Ulrika Dahl

Come and celebrate this exxcitng new book a stunning collaboration from gender variant photographer Del LaGrace Volcano and Swedish writer Ulrika Dahl. Stilettos, lipstick, beards: there’s more than one way to be a queer femme. Del and Ulrika travelled seven countries in their quest to explore the notion of queer femininity.

Come and Chat
with Ulrika Dahl (Sweden) with host Kitty Minge (UK)

Thursday 5th March
630-930pm $5
Shows By Vixen Noir (San Fran), Lillian Star, Molly,Dj Pony
Food and refreshments available
Red Rattler Theatre
6 Faversham St
Marrickville

actually, maybe i will cry. vixen is in town doing shows and workshops all over the place and i'm not going to make ONE of them. BIG POUT.

Angles in the Architecture

Two quotes for this day:

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

and

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

Both Michelangelo, and both very apt for my current creative situation.