Growing Old Disgracefully

Worked out one of the things that unsettles me most in Perth yesterday-- people seem to accept that growing UP is somehow compulsary. Was asking some mates whether they were participating in the Pride Parade, and the general consensus was that this was something one did when one was young and then you retired gracefully to watch it from the sidelines. Fair enough if these mates were 70 years old, but a bit odd to me when most of them hadn't even hit 30. Hmm. It happens in other ways too, people past their mid-20s here don't play dress-ups nearly as much as my crusty old mates back home, and, well... they are all just so sensible and ADULT with careers and cars and mortgages and baby plans and whatnot. I'm beginning to feel like some sort of juvenile deliquent...

West End Monster

Today is a Perth day somehow-- was just absentmindedly thinking we should take a trip to Freo markets this weekend, remembering the order of the UWA library and contemplating sitting by the river with a pile of books and screeching cockatoos in the trees above. Except I live back East now. Still surprises me some days, nice as it is to be here and all. I miss Bassendean Shopping Village and visiting The Baby and Pearl of Highgate pastries and EVERYTHING about Planet and meeting folk at the Scotto and late night trips to Fresh Provisions and dancing/performing at Zoo and even Pride Women's Sundowners. And my mates of course. Still, will be back for Pride party and parade. Only a few more months to go!

Ghetto Grotto Update

As I type our Perth belongings are being delivered by the somewhat gruff moving men. Exactly two weeks after they was supposed to get here. Hmmm, am alternately still very miffed about the shoddy service and jumping about with glee at having it all here at long last. So far it all seems to be present and accounted for, double bonus... Our fridge! Our cookware! Shelves! The second conjugal bed! Chairs! Dining table! Coffee table! Artworks! Oh, its like living in a real house again!

So much unpacking and reassembling to do, on so many levels...

Speaking of which, Monster is planning little trips away all over the place whilst I am stuck here in Thesis Town (Melbourne, Perth). Which made me a little jealous until I realised that a) I am very much desiring to stay in one spot at the moment, to the point of hardly wanting to leave the house (nerd attack of a major fashion), b) I get more Uni work done when she is not here to distract me so a few days here and there on my own will be quite handy and c) I will be in Brisbane in July, Newcastle in October, possibly Perth in October and Melbourne late November. This is probably enough travel for one little Monster for this year, no?

Happy House

After many months of painting, sanding, oiling, cleaning, sugar soap, mineral turps, cuss words, strained muscles, pots of coffee and the odd nervous breakdown the HOUSE HAS BEEN SOLD, SETTLED, VACATED. We said goodbye and thankyou to it yesterday, tenderly mopping the hallway and sweeping down the porch, picking the last of the ripe lemons and grabbing handfuls of fresh rosemary. It was sweet and sad, and today I feel a little lost, but still a feeling that all is right in the world too.

A friend said yesterday that her years have themes (2009 being Beauty). I'm thinking mine is Completion and Closure- project one, Monster's house, is done and dusted. The second major project to get through is my thesis, and that is mostly under control I think/hope.

There's something satisfyingly proper about the way the Monster and I are going about this all, it feels like the way 'we' should begin. A sorting out of the past and honouring where we come from and what we bring to the whole affair, a period of transition and consolidation. Sifting through boxes of books and trinkets, evaluating habits and scenes and ways of being, working out what to keep and what needs to be passed on, what benefits and what stifles.

And so soon to Sydney, but not in a way I have been there before.

Sucker City

your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
my city's a creep

want we want is what you want
want we want is what you want
is free tv
want you want is what we want
want you want is what we want
is a case of the ha ha ha ha's...


your city's a sucker
your city's a sucker
your city is stoned
your city is stoned
my city's in heat

what we want
sex with movie stars
what you want
a career in the
ha ha ha ha

--lcd soundsystem

beautiful time at zoo club last night (perth), for the launch of SPUNK magazine... genderfukbel and i did a really silly messy dirty gender-mashing show to placebo's 'new morning', with cream 'girl juice' and possum fur pasties and bike boots and facepaint and some other folk made a HOT impromptu bondage demo on stage and dj needlenurse was a drag king ripping out his heart and... bj photoshoots in the back alley and free champagne and innuendo and flirtation and bears and jock straps and so many people i barely recognised coming up to me 'you're leaving?? no! we'll miss you!' and...

i'll miss them too.

Clicking My Heels

And so I have missed Mardi Gras for the first time in a long time. The photos are slowly creeping onto Facebook-- the Femme Guild, the leather crew, the dancing queens, the hoop stars, the glitter and sparkles and costumes and hugs. The ENERGY, the smiles, the sheer utter joy and celebration of it. Marshalling time, all camera flashes and 'I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!' and catching up with folk you haven't seen since the last Queer Christmas. Swapping eyelash glue and stick on rhinestones, last minute cable ties and beers.

Tonight in Perth I was meant to be going to Zoo club, the one night of the week when the freaks (such as there are here) come out to play. Monster is unwell, and all of my friends have piked for one reason or another. In Sydney this wouldn't matter, I'd be on a bus doing my eyeliner on the back seat, walking up Oxford Street to Phoenix or some other scene of filth and wonder. Even on a Sunday, any Sunday, the laneways and gutters are alive. Here it is GLBT, no Q. Monster has a shirt someone printed years ago. It reads Queer As F&^K, some spiky haired androgyne next to the text, a pair of interlocked + rings alongside a pair of -> rings. Two boys OR two girls, sealed same sex couples, the ultimate in West Aus queer seems to be when the dykes mix with the queens. Nothing is fluid here, not gender or sexuality or politics or passions, and I am still surprised when I smell sweat on the dancefloor. If there are queers in this city beyond my immediate circle, I don't know where they hide.

My hair is spiked and my fishnets ready, all dressed up for another night on the couch. Mostly I am used to it now, I have my routine of lesbian drinks nights and women's reading groups and hanging with my new crew to get me through.

Tonight though, I'm conjuring the smell of amyl across the Nullabor as I settle down on the couch with DVDs and the Monster. Ah, the Monster. Somehow she makes even this okay.

BTW, THE HOUSE IS ON THE MARKET!

You can look it up on REIWA... or contact me for details! Woooooohooooooooooo! First home open on Sunday 8th, but can organise viewings at other times.

I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got*

I do not have a house of my own.
I do not have a husband, or wife.
I do not have any children.
I do not have any sort of real career.
I do not have any money to speak of.
I do not have any of the traditional markers of 'success'.

Maybe it is a post-birthday flip-out. Or a reaction to being refused entry to a straight club last night for no valid reason (not trashed, not trashy, not rude, not against dress code). Maybe its just what happens when I am surrounded by a lot of people with mortgages and proper jobs and weddings and baby plans- and that's just the queer folk. Maybe its just not having 'my tribe' around me but...

I could have had the Hallmark card. I had the makings of it: fiance, plans for a 'family', a job in finance. By now I could have four kids and a fifteenth wedding anniversary and a part-time job teaching and my house in the 'burbs half paid off. But I left it because I didn't want it, and still don't. But then sometimes, for whatever reason, I begin to feel insecure, wonder what I am doing with my life -- the script gets re-started and suddenly I am crying over breastfeeding and real estate agents and wanting a share portfolio.

Which is awful, and silly, because this is actually what I chose to do BECAUSE ITS WHAT I WANT. And it serves me well:

I have the gorgeous Monster.
I have an amazing family and unconditional love.
I have a spectacular set of loyal, creative, dynamic and generous mates.
I have an amazing queer community across the globe. And an artistic one too.
I have enough money to survive comfortably, for the most part.
I have the freedom to change location.
I don't have to worry about my public profile as such, or whether my workmates will see me dancing to the Spice Girls at the Court.
I don't have any obligations to children or pets.
I have a good education that enables me to access a wide variety of possibilities.
I have initiative, spunk and wit, and I will realise my plans and dreams in some way or another. I do every day.

And I do not want what I have not got.

*In the words of St Sinead.

PACKING BOXES NEEDED *PERTH*

We need to get this house all neat and tidy-- agents coming through Friday and hopefully the thing will be on the market in the next week or two. We need it to be neat and tidy for this. And the best thing to do with clutter (after getting rid of as much as possible of course) is to pack it all in boxes and stash it somewhere so potential buyers don't see it. So... we need more packing boxes. If you have any spare: big, small, archive boxes etc, please do send them our way (we can collect of course). Ta!

Sky High

There is a depth to the Western skies, or perhaps more correctly a height, a breadth, the heavens seem further away here...

You're Delightful, You're Deluxe-y...

GayInWA provided this lovely pic of the Monster and I at Christmas Deluxe. Thankyou Sweeties! You know I love my paparazzi! And you can even see my light-up tutu in this shot...

Three Moments of Joy

Christmas Deluxe, Friday: Luxe bar, Highgate. Black tutu strung with star lights inbetween the layers of fabric, silver singlet, fishnets, diamantes on face, black and silver eyelashes, red lipstick, shaved head. Dancing, posing, flirting, schmoozing and general acts of complete fabulousness with Monster!

Christ! Mass Drinks!, Saturday: Our manger. Boardies, lei, red grass skirt, swimsuit, rubber thongs. Festively shaped pretzels, strawberries dipped in chocolate, ricotta and berry hotcakes with fresh whipped cream, chips and dip and cheese and delicious rosemary flatbread and oil and dukkah and... Yummy! Started late arvo, flopping about drinking and chatting with a small but somehow perfect group of pals, hours in the spa being cheeky, more chatting and flirting and in bed with Monster-cuddles by midnight.

Markets, Sunday: Fremantle. Big black skirt, sandals, black singlet. Xmas art market, plus regular markets. Didn't buy a scrap for anyone else, but came back with an oil burner, lots of oils, Tinderbox face scrub, clay and soap from Corynne's for myself (and kitties and DVDs we collected in Lawley), plus the glow you get from wandering around a beachside town hand in hand with your fabulous Monster in the sunshine and feeling that life is just about perfect.

Two-Pussies For The Price Of One

I leave Perth for TWO seconds and look what they get up to!

From SMH:

'A two-faced kitten born in Western Australia yesterday is still in good health this morning, amid rumours its tale has been snapped up exclusively by Today Tonight.
The kitten was being closely monitored after its birth, but was back in the care of its owner this morning, a spokeswoman for Swan Veterinary Clinic said.The kitten was "still alive and going well'', she said. The kitten's mother was taken to the Swan Veterinary Clinic after suffering complications while in labour...There were three kittens born in the litter, but just one was left with such a unique deformity. The kitten eats out of just one mouth because of a cleft palate, but both mouths meow simultaneously.'

Birthday, Party

Many of you know that I am named in honour of a Birthday Party Song, Zoo Music Girl. Used to be an obsessive Nick Cave fan, and he still warms my cockles somewhat. And he is playing over here, at the Belvoir Ampitheatre ON MY BIRTHDAY! Tickets booked, and Zoo happy :)

One More Sleep

Until I get on that plane heading east, and I am excited and silly at the thought of seeing my family and all my mates and the harbour and my library and dancing at Kooky and maybe getting to the women's pool and eating dumplings and going to the markets and...

I miss Monster already. Smitten. Absolutely smitten.

Perth-- More Good Stuff

Now I feel ungracious and ungrateful and like an awfully bad guest to be whingeing so much about my current hometown. Its been good to me, mostly, and hey, what is the point of travel if you are just looking for the same thing in a different town? Etc.

So, here be a list of things that have made me deliriously happy:

* Spare Puppets Theatre's version of The Arrival (Shaun Tan), which we went and saw last night in Freo. And Monster's cheekbones in the half-light...
* The Spa works! And we had a lovely long soak and wine and nangs the other night. Yummy.
* Sweet Lips in Freo's wonderful salt and pepper squid.
* Tinderbox products. Bless those hippies!
* ArtRage was goodly, for a sort of community-friendly slightly quirky art festival with a focus on cute things for people with line drawings of big-eyed dolls on their tshirts, girls with long-hair and mildly interesting shoes and their slightly mussy-haired boyfriends who probably play in a bad band. Inoffensive for the most part, in small doses, with the odd moment of joy, like Silent Disco and The Booth.
* I have a lovely study now that I have tidied it up, with the sun coming in the window and the kittens frolicking just outside and a big bookshelf full of
* The libraries at UWA and ECU have so many books that I have never come across anywhere else! Milkiness in many varied forms. And the one at UWA has a CAFE on the lower floor. Perfect.
* SymbioticA, as mentioned many times before, just blows my mind and makes me reconsider where I fit into, or if I fit into, the academic schema, in very good ways.
* Quirky new artsy folk to play with, and make stuff with. New role as Muse/Model.
* Pride festival, parade and afterparty.
* Wombling for magical items the street fairies have left. Everyone does it, and we picked up two fabulous bar chairs this morning on the way back from our walk. Yay!
* Satisfying maternal urges the true lesbian way by having cats and playing with them and feeding them and cuddling them even when they resist and being their step-mummy in some co-parenting arrangement.
* Morning Monster Walkies.

Hmm, guess its not too bad somehow *shrug*.

TRASHLESS PERTH PANIC *REPRISE*

thankyou all so much for you empathy, sympathy and offerings!

not quite sure what has got into me lately, more often i am admiring the pace of proceedings in Perth... and its not quite REGIONAL i suppose, but... oh, I DO MISS THE BRIGHT LIGHTS! and even the smaller stuff that comes from having your own crew, whatever the city: strolling down King St on the way home from Uni and stopping by the Newtown or Varga Bar and catching up with whoever is around for early dinner/coffee and cake/beer etc... I could survive most of the time without the BIG stuff if the little stuff was here, the smaller day-to-day interactions that add up to the bulk of one's socialising and just make things more PLEASANT... bbqs, picnics, drinking in the backyard, DVD nights, impromptu meals and blow-up pools and beach trips and people just dropping by... i long for my TRIBE!

sure things happens here, and I do get the OCCASIONAL invite, but its not the way I am used to living, this sort of locked-up-at-home-with-occasional-venturings-into-the-NIGHTLIFE type of reality.

hmm, time to gather my sensible head and stop being a drama queen and remind myself of what i love about Perth. i love her wide open spaces, her tiny little city skyline, the way time seems to stretch out forever, the fact that if you missed something (fashion/musical genre/play) its probably still/just available here, the peaceful river(no ferries really, or any other boats), wildflowers, freemantle, kings park, zoo (the club), cheap theatre, friendly folk... and most of all, time spent with Monster. Doing ANYTHING-- frolicking, washing up, renovating, watching telly, cuddling, playing with the kittens, hanging out in the spa, making shows, general pottering. LOVE HER TO BITS!

Pride Parade, And Party

Oh, so much has been going on of late I have barely had the time or brainspace to get any proper blogging in...

This weekend was Perth Pride. As most of you will know, the delectable little cub Aram Hosie is the current Pride Patron, and so a pile of his mates volunteered to help build him a float for the parade. To cut a long story short, this involved a bit of planning, a bit of shopping, and a LOT of balloon blowing and tying and banner hanging etc! But it worked, and even though it was small (10 people or so) it got plenty of cheers from the crowds and people actually seemed to respond to the message-- essentially, that trans*/gender variant folk need rights to healthcare, legal recognition and so on. Extra credit points go to Monster for coming up with the 'Lost In Trans*lation' slogan we had on the signs we held-- she's a bloody creative genius, whip- smart and with a wicked sense of humour! And the parade itself was so stupidly warm and fuzzy and 'community', only 30 or so floats and a great vibe to it, like Mardi Gras but all over in half an hour, and the crowd so delightful that I just beamed the whole way... Then quick dismantling of float, back to NeedleNurse's flat to get changed and drink champagne and into the night again, to the official after-party at Connie's. Whilst the music was probably not as bad as it was elsewhere, it was still a bit, umm, lightweight, but had a fabulous time regardless. Soooooooo many people recognised me that I felt like some sort of b-grade Perth-anality already, has only been 4 months-ish since I arrived and it was just crazy! And there was a filthy sexy vibe to the place, and I danced and canoodled ever-so-much with the Monster and flirted plenty (some of it with much intent-- its not a matter of IF but WHEN you know *wink*), and generally just shmoozed and drank vodka and watched drag shows and talked nonsense and giggled and beamed and whirled about! Then we headed home as the sun came up, for Monster showers and cuddling in bed wrapped up in each other, feet sore and bodies aching and with that satisfied exhaustion that comes from such things...PERFECT!

Did I Mention There Is LOTS OF ART In Perth???

Hybrid performance in Australia

A unique cross-platform event that brings together some of the most innovative and radical hybrid performance practitioners from around the country to debate, demystify and showcase interdisciplinary art as part of a new wave of live art culture in Australia.

'this is the time' at the Artrage Bakery Complex is an evening ofshort performances from artists involved in the symposium. Experience live work from some of Australia's finest experimental performance makers. Don't miss it! See artrage.com.au for more details.

this is the record of the time is a two-day symposium hosted by PICA that will explore the key characteristics of hybrid performance including the shifting relationships between audience, site, intervention and collaboration. A screening lounge containing DVDs of live works from participating artists will be open to the public in the week prior to the symposium.

this is the time... this is the record of the time is an initiative of pvi collective as part of their ten year birthday celebrations and aims to bring together creative comrades whose work challenges, inspires and pushes the boundaries of contemporary performance practice.

Steve Kurtz Lecture *Critical Art Ensemble* PERTH

In this brief lecture, Steve Kurtz will discuss some of the
elements in the work of Critical Art Ensemble (CAE) that
seem to antagonize agencies of power and domination.
Over the years, CAE has been attacked, threatened, and/
or denounced by police, the FBI, politicians, corporate
lawyers, federal prosecutors, and even religious institutions.
Kurtz will offer some possibilities as to why CAE has been
in constant struggle to maintain a public voice, and how
the mechanisms of expression management have been increasingly militarized and intensified over the past 20 years. There will be a screening of the short film
CAE: Producing Immolation by Sensimilla Productions immediately following the lecture.

About Steve Kurtz
Steven Kurtz is a Professor of Visual Studies at SUNY, Buffalo
and a founding member of Critical Art Ensemble (CAE). CAE is a
collective of tactical media practitioners of various specializations,
including computer graphics and web design, wetware, film/video,
photography, text art, book art, and interventionist performance.
Formed in 1987, CAE’s focus has been on the exploration of
the intersections between art, critical theory, technology, and
political activism. The collective has performed and produced a
wide variety of projects for an international audience at diverse
venues ranging from the street, to the museum, to the Internet.
Critical Art Ensemble has also written six books on various
aspects of cultural resistance. Its writings have been translated
into 18 languages. (www.critical-art.net).Critical Art Ensemble artists Steve Kurtz and Lucia Sommer are currently artists in residence at SymbioticA, School of Anatomy
and Human Biology, The University of Western Australia.
(www.symbiotica.uwa.edu.au). SymbioticA, The Centre of Excellence in Biological Arts is a jointly funded initiative between The University of Western Australia and
the Western Australian Department of Culture and the Arts. SymbioticA and the Institute of Advanced Studies present Steve Kurtz - ‘Crossing the Line’
‘Evidence’ video stills, Critical Art Ensemble.

Lecture Details
Date: Thursday 30 October 2008
Time: 6pm
Venue: Social Sciences Lecture Theatre, UWA
(The nearest carpark is P3 off Hackett Drive Entrance 1)
This lecture is free and open to the public, no RSVP required
Institute of Advanced Studies
The University of Western Australia
M021, 35 Stirling Highway, Crawley WA 6009

Email iasuwa@admin.uwa.edu.au
Web www.ias.uwa.edu.au