Swirling

Swirling takes up all my time
Makes me know that I'm
Above you

Swirling, curling up in smoke
It started as a joke, but
Love you

Moss
Suspended on a grave
And growing in a cave
Where I can carve your name

Love you

Swirling occupies my life
And if I had a wife, she'd
Be you

Swirling takes up all my time
And if that's such a crime, why
Love you?

Moss suspended on a stone
And down the telephone
To where I call your name

Love you

-- Robyn Hitchcock

Ghetto Grotto Update

As I type our Perth belongings are being delivered by the somewhat gruff moving men. Exactly two weeks after they was supposed to get here. Hmmm, am alternately still very miffed about the shoddy service and jumping about with glee at having it all here at long last. So far it all seems to be present and accounted for, double bonus... Our fridge! Our cookware! Shelves! The second conjugal bed! Chairs! Dining table! Coffee table! Artworks! Oh, its like living in a real house again!

So much unpacking and reassembling to do, on so many levels...

Speaking of which, Monster is planning little trips away all over the place whilst I am stuck here in Thesis Town (Melbourne, Perth). Which made me a little jealous until I realised that a) I am very much desiring to stay in one spot at the moment, to the point of hardly wanting to leave the house (nerd attack of a major fashion), b) I get more Uni work done when she is not here to distract me so a few days here and there on my own will be quite handy and c) I will be in Brisbane in July, Newcastle in October, possibly Perth in October and Melbourne late November. This is probably enough travel for one little Monster for this year, no?

WANTED: Perverted Poetry! Leather Literature! Purple Prose!

Yes, its time for Sydney Leather Pride's annual

Bob Buckley Spoken Word at
Aurora Gallery Level 1/43 Bedford St Newtown
Wednesday May 6 from 7:00 pm

If you would like read, recite or ramble your own (or other's) dirty, smutty, filthy, kinky words on the night please register your interest with Micah at micah.horton.hallett@gmail.com . Or just turn up a tad early and he'll fit you in somewhere, somehow (he has a knack for it, promise).

Of course, it needs an audience too, so come be entertained!

Pure And Simple Over You

click here for today's little bubble of sparkle and shine from youtube...

night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows
perhaps someone you know, could sparkle and shine
as daydreams slide to colour from shadow
picture the moonglow, that dazzles my eyes
and i love you

just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

dreams of sights, of sleigh rides in seasons
where feelings not reasons, can make you decide
as leaves pour down, splash autumn on gardens
as colder nights harden, their moonlit delights
and i love you

just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

look at me with starry eyes
push me up to starry skies
there's stardust in my head
pure and simple everytime
fresh and deep as oceans new
shiver at the sight of you
i'll sing a softer tune
pure and simple over you

if love's the truth then look no lies
and let me swin around your eyes
i've found a place i'll never leave
shut my mouth and just believe
love is the truth i relize
not a stream of pretty lies
to use us up and waste our time

lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime

look at me with starry eyes
push me up to starry skies
there's stardust in my head
pure and simple everytime
fresh and deep as oceans new
shiver at the sight of you
i'll sing a softer tune
pure and simple over you
pure and simple just for you

-- The Lightning Seeds
'Pure'

Succour

At Perv Box Brownie last night (24th), with Necrotitties-- more pix on my facecrack!

Pink Elephant

More from ABC.net.au:

'A Polish politician has criticised his local zoo for acquiring a "gay" elephant.

Local media reports the elephant, named Ninio, prefers male companions and will probably not procreate.

"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys ($15.5 million) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," Michal Grzes, a conservative councillor in the city of Poznan in western Poland, was quoted as saying.

"We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?"

The head of the Poznan zoo said 10-year-old Ninio may be too young to decide whether he prefers males or females as elephants only reach sexual maturity at 14.'

Breathe In, Breathe Out

From ABC.net.au:

'A bar in Britain is offering the unique experience of entering a room filled with a breathable cocktail.

For five pounds ($10.50) visitors are allowed into a room filled with a cloud of vapourised gin and tonic.

Stays in the room are limited to one hour at a time, which a team of doctors has estimated is the equivalent of between one and two standard drinks.

A spokesman says patrons are being advised to "breathe responsibly".'

Random Acts Of Sydney

Our furniture and other belongings have still not been delivered to us by the company who is moving them from Perth (due one week ago today). Strange, and annoying somewhat. When Monster came home on Sunday afternoon she was greeted with a new doormat, which neither of us had purchased or placed there-- no note or indication of who had either! The mat has flowers adorning it, and is very pretty. Odd. The weather is all over the place-- sunshine one minute and hard showers the next. And on Saturday night we went to Rockin' the Random at a nearby warehouse. Bands, suspension show, and a wild collection of wastrels I hadn't encountered in a long time (one of them now wearning a truly delicious Poirot moustache). It was magnificently trashy, in all sorts of unexpected ways...

Sydney always delivers on the randomness, that's for sure. And I love her for it.

PERV FILM FEST

I be doing something with Necrotitties on the Friday at Box Brownie, and lurking around most of it I should imagine...

PERV
Thursday 23 April - Sunday 26 April 2009
film sessions and opening night $5 each
or
Festival Pass $25, includes opening night PERV Peep Show. The Box Brownie Flash tickets sold separately.


PERV is a new international film, video and performance festival dedicated to QUEEROTICA. Encompassing a four-day program of screenings, installations, panels, parties and play that promise to stimulate, titillate and engage. Highlights include:

The Perv Peepshow Launch party
7pm-10pm Thurs 23 April $5
DJ Tokyolovekitten
Host Mr Big Pants
video sculptures, projections, peek a booth, slides
a celebration of installation, from the radical to the retro.
Drink up the sounds of DJ Tokyolovekitten as you mingle with the works of Lady Penelope, Marion Conrow, the peeping tomboy, Adonis, Kino 55, Samuel Hodge, Regret and more.. Join our special review tour of installation destinations with the honourable member Mr Big Pants.


The Box Brownie Flash 9pm-1am
Friday 24 April $20/$15
A very special night where all experimental media play goes, queer performers bend your lens with KK No Pants, Catheterine and Necrotitties, Adonis, Crash, Sarah Greenwood, Regret, Mighty Hermaphrodity, Stranger Danger, Tara Cook, and more with DJ Gemma and VJ Mim Visuals

Katrina Del Mar PERV’S Festival guest - meet the film maker
6-8pm Saturday 25 April $5
Katrina Del Mar’s infamous gang girls have been tearing up our screens since 2000. As a guest of the festival, this renowned New York filmmaker dishes the dirt on her formidable cast of truck driving sluts, roughnecks, petrol heads, surfer girls and candy lickin’ bikers. Del Mar will also introduce new works A Beautiful Death and Punchin & Crussin. Be one of the first to check out her lecherous lesbian vampires as they sink their fangs into each other at this premiere event.

Archiving tales with Tom Fairweather
1-3pm Sunday 26 April $5
Photographer Tom Fairweather has had his lens trained on the Sydney queer scene for many many years. Join him and Domino (Slit Magazine ed) in conversation over lunch and a cup of tea as they chat about some of his
favourite shots in his newest slideshow.
Food by the amazing Jaffle Café.

Perv International Short Film competition
7-10pm Sunday 26 April
Celebrate the best global purveyors of queerotica with mistress of ceremonies Kellie Jean Drinkwater. Cast your vote for the film that rocks your jocks to decide who takes out the seriously cheeky prize for the Audience Award. An illustrious panel of experts will also be on hand to present the Grand Jury Prize.

Check out PERV for the full film festival program

SPURS ON ANZAC DAY

Drag out your lagerphone and polish your biggest belt buckle for the Spurs be playing! YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

CLick here for info

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us...

An anonymous someone just commented that my blog now bores them. I have taken this on board, and have decided to ask you, my reading public and dedicated fanbase, what you would like from blog. More smut? More art? More gossip? More lactation? More pictures? More stories about porridge? More rants? More opinion? More politics? More bloodshed? More romance? A gardening column? Crochet patterns? Real estate advice?

Of course, you may not all be relying on my blog as a primary source of entertainment. If you are though, do let me know how I can best serve you. Thanks.

Jockette Strap Update

Rang the maker of the mistaken identity underwear, and explained ever-so-nicely that I did not want the girly version of the boy item (so to speak)-- I wanted the one I ordered. He seemed somewhat surprised, and explained in his defence that he didn't quite understand my 'character'. Notions of gender performativity aside, it did appear he thought I was engaged in some sort of vaudevillian cross-dressing. TOO MANY MUSICALS perhaps? Hey, if stereotypes are good enough for the goose...

Whilt I was at I took the liberty to explain that 'girls' may not quite have the kinds of fumblings that he imagined. Or that they might, but that there was a WHOLE LOT MORE TO 'FEMALE' sexuality, and sexuality in general. And some of it was very sticky, and involved accessing parts in ways he hadn't considered. In sufficient detail to just get him to make what we ask for how we ask for it!

Sometimes being patronised would be a lot less horrible if people REALISED they were doing it. I mean, totally clueless to what an insensitive misogynist patronising schmuck he had been. But sweet enough when called on it I suppose? Arrrgh, I get so BORED of this game.

Am I Not Tranny Enough?

Today I went to pick up the leather jockstrap I had ordered a wee while ago. Custom. Black. Leather. Jockstrap. (Yes, like a BOYS jockstrap. LIKE YOU MAKE FOR THE BOYS, the gayboys, the leather gay boys-- just to fit my figure.) Seemingly simple. There was even a picture on the website I was shown. Same thing, with a few minor adjustments.

For reasons unknown it appeared with a very shiny/patent red trim all around it, and nothing at all like the one on the website. Like a girly bikini, sort of, with a jock-strap back. AND RED SHININESS. I have no idea what I did to deserve this horror, apart from having the audacity to be born willy-less. He is changing the trim, thank the god-dess of gender-upending, and I have requested he 'butch it up a bit.' I live in hope.

Of course, the Monster's leather-goods are all black and buckly (if suffering other eccentricities-- what DO BOYS THINK WE 'GIRLS' DO???). Obviously she didn't get red trim or girliness, not when she goes about wearing them trousers all the time, not like me with my skirt-wearing and my curious lipstick. No. All of this from people I thought were 'family'.

Bloody hell. Some days I am tempted to just chuck it all in, start ticking the Miss box on forms and forget all about r/evolution. Its tedious, its really hard work and on certain nights when the lights are out I barely have the energy to even cry about it anymore. But then boys don't cry do they? I love my crew here and will be sad to leave, but I miss my queer family SO MUCH at times like this. Bah. Only four more sleeps.

Ghetto Grotto

Apologies for not updating y'all on my whys and wherefores of late-- has been a busy old time! We head back East this coming Sunday, and have found ourselves the lovely Grotto in the Ghetto. 'Tis nice and central, affordable, we move in next Tuesday with the Tempest (the kitty we be keeping) and should have stuff out of storage shortly thereafter. Fingers crossed it all keeps going so smoothly...

It will be good to be back 'home' for the most part. Miss my family a lot, and my close mates, and my supervisor and my library. And the harbour, my fave dumplings, queer clubs and culture, markets (not very many over here), that kind of thing. I miss sitting in Varga Bar talking Kristeva and performance, I miss wandering through the Gardens after a trip to the gallery, I miss my strange menagerie of artists, activists, poets, writers, perverts and dress-up partners. I need to be back in a world of salons and theatre and magic and wonder! Perth is ever-so pragmatic and I miss the mysteries of my hometown-mistress, its the whitewashed anglican antithesis to my decadent catholic tastes...

Having some hard thinking time about some Sydney-ness though. Being away from the 'scene' has given me space to ponder what I value and what is actually really damaging to me, and reassess the communities and habits I have just fallen into because they seemed to be what fitted best (even though they are often quite unhealthy). Sod that. Have an inkling the secret may be in quality over quantity, but its such a tricky balance I expect. Hmm.

Mixed Business at The Red Rattler

Sex Workers & Lesbians Come Together, Queers, Ho's and Supporters Welcome

'Come and experience the best the inner-west queer sex worker scene has to offer - merchandise, magazines, food, drinks and performance at the wonderful new venue Red Rattler. Dj's. Performers Juliet November, Vashti Hughes, Ginger Schnapps, Mighty Hermaphrodite and Stranger Danger, more to be announced.. $15 waged $10 unwaged entry fee, funds raised go to Scarlet Alliance.'

Host: Red Rattler, Scarlet Alliance, LOTL, and many many more
Type: Party - Benefit
Date: 07 May 2009
Time: 19:00 - 23:00
Location: Red Rattler, 6 Faversham St,Marrickville, Australia