Monster Dedication

Sometimes you make me feel like I'm living at the edge of the world,
'Its just the way I smile,' you said...

-- The Cure, 'Plainsong'

Swirling

Swirling takes up all my time
Makes me know that I'm
Above you

Swirling, curling up in smoke
It started as a joke, but
Love you

Moss
Suspended on a grave
And growing in a cave
Where I can carve your name

Love you

Swirling occupies my life
And if I had a wife, she'd
Be you

Swirling takes up all my time
And if that's such a crime, why
Love you?

Moss suspended on a stone
And down the telephone
To where I call your name

Love you

-- Robyn Hitchcock

Gone Again

one last breath
the sky is high
the hungry earth
the empty vein
the ashes rain
death's own bed
man's own kin
into the wind
one last breath
hole in life
love knot tied
braid undone
child born
the hollow horn
warrior cried
a warrior died
one last breath
lick of flame
spirit moaned
spirit shed
the heavens fed
man's own kin
grips the sky
and he's gone again

-- Patti Smith
'Gone Again'

The news reports are full of fire and destruction. The current euphemism for dead is 'gone' it seems. That family is gone, his children are gone, her friends are gone. Recovery teams search the ashes and across the country I am consumed with fever.

Bloodletting

There's a crack in the mirror
And a bloodstain on the bed -
There's a crack in the mirror
And a bloodstain on the bed -
O you were a vampire and baby
I'm walking dead
O you were a vampire and baby
I'm walking dead

I got the ways and means
To New Orleans
I'm going down by the river
Where it's warm and green
I'm gonna have drink, and walk around
I got a lot to think about oh yeah

There's a rocking chair by the window
Down the hall
I hear something there in the shadow
Down the hall
O you were a vampire and now I am
Nothing at all
O you were a vampire and now I am
Nothing at all

They used to dance in the garden in the
Middle of the night
They used to dance in the garden in the
Middle of the night
They were naked as the day they were born
Skin all bone-china white
O you were a vampire
And I may never see the light

-Concrete Blonde

Beautiful Boyz

All those beautiful boys
Pimps and queens and criminal queers
All those beautiful boys
Tattoos of ships and tattoos of tears...

- Cocorosie

Bruised lipstick. Diamantes caught in damp fur. Swagger in high heels. Chipped polish on grimy nails. Net stockings. Football socks. Beer. Cigarettes. Small swathes of sparkle. Champagne. Metallic lashes. Ink. Orifices. Dark cubicles. Phoenix dancefloor promises.

All those beautiful boys.

Ghosts

When the room is quiet
The daylight almost gone
It seems there's something I should know
Well, I ought to leave
But the rain it never stops
And I've no particular place to go

Just when I think I'm winning
When I've broken every door
The ghosts of my life
Blow wilder than before
Just when I thought I could not be stopped
When my chance came to be king
The ghosts of my life
Blew wilder than the wind...

-- Japan 'Ghosts'

If I remember correctly, one horoscope for this year advised that I would/should be tying up loose ends, putting the past in the past, that kind of theme. Its almost December, and I do believe it was right. I have done a lot work on getting out of bad loops with partners, booze, destructive 'friends', and other unhelpful behaviors throughout 2008. Still have the odd panic, and self-defeating pattern of thinking, but feel I have been forming productive partnerships with the ghosts of my past.

Golden Oldies

Here we are in our summer years
Living on icecream and chocolate kisses
Would the leaves fall from the trees
If I was your old man and you were my missus

- Billy Bragg
'Greetings To A New Brunette'


Loving you
Is a world thats strange
So much more than my heart can hold
Loving you
Makes the whole world change
Loving you, I could not grow old

- Morrissey and Siouxsie
'Interlude'

Does anyone else remember the scene in Tales of the City where Mrs Madrigal swaps the kids on the beach a joint for a go with their kite? She's with Edgar, and he makes some comment on the fact the she is remarkable for her age. And she tells him it is nonsense, and that this is EXACTLY how someone her age should act (or thereabouts).

One of the presents I gave Monster for her birthday was a kite.

Teardrop

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Feathers on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

Night, night after day
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Feathers on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

You're stumbling a little
You're stumbling a little

- Massive Attack

Indirectly Applicable

The sycophantic slags all say, I knew him first and I knew him well...

- The Smiths
'Paint a Vulgar Picture'

Iva Good Mind To...

Seems this band are a recurring theme at the moment:

I've got a pocket
full of holes
head in the clouds
the king of fools
you've got a ribbon of rainbows
the sun in your eyes
burning through
could be I'm happy and sad
could be I'm losing my head
over you

well, you've gotta be crazy, baby
to want a guy like me
yeah, you've gotta be out of your mind
crazy

So if I'm dreaming
don't wake me tonight
if this is all wrong
I don't want it right
'cause you're the one sure thing
when I get lost in the game
once again
hey, I'm a lucky guy
without a reason and I
don't understand

- Icehouse
'Crazy'

Monster In A Blue Dress

If a boy had a chance, a chance with someone like you
Are you gonna break his heart, let him cry for the moon
Are you hiding somewhere behind those eyes?

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it's all over you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
Tell me, what can I do, electric blue.

Oh I had a dream, For a moment I believed it was true
Oh I'd have given anything just to be there with you
Are you hiding somewhere behind those eyes?

I just freeze every time you see through me
And it's all over you, electric blue.
In too deep, standing here waiting
As I'm breaking in two, electric blue.
I can see, can see that it may be
Just a vision of you, electric blue.
On my knees, help me baby,
Tell me what can I do, electric blue.

- Icehouse
'Electric Blue'

I Love Paul Kelly

So let the time keep rolling on
It's on my side
Lonely nights will soon be gone
High is the tide

Before too long
We'll be together
And no-one will tear us apart
Before too long
The words will be spoken
I know all the action by heart

As the night time follows day
I'm closing in
Every dog will have his day
Any dog can win
Shut the shade do no fear anymore
Here I come creeping round your back door

Before too long
I'll be repeating
What's happened before in my mind
Before too long
Over and over
Just like a hammer inside

As the nighttime follows day
I'm closing in
Every dog will have his day
Any dog can win
Before too long

- Paul Kelly
'Before Too Long'

Butterflies In My Tummy

Love is like a butterfly
As soft and gentle as a sigh
The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings
Love makes your heart feel strange inside
It flutters like soft wings in flight
Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing

I feel it when you're with me
It happens when you kiss me
That rare and gentle feeling that I feel inside
Your touch is soft and gentle
Your kiss is warm and tender
Whenever I am with you I think of butterflies

Love is like a butterfly
The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings
Love makes your heart feel strange inside
It flutters like soft wings in flight
Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing

Your laughter brings me sunshine
Everyday is spring time
And I am only happy when you are by my side
How precious is this love we share
How very precious, sweet and rare
Together we belong like daffodils and butterflies

Love is like a butterfly
As soft and gentle as a sigh
The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings
Love makes your heart feel strange inside
It flutters like soft wings in flight
Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing

(as sung by Nana Mouskouri and Dolly Parton)

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

Recent events have led me to thinking of this song- I'll let you work out which parts in particular:

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people. Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.

Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.

Beware of whores who say they don't want money. The hell they don't. What they mean is they want more money. Much more.

If you're doing business with a religious son of a bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.

Avoid fuckups. You all know the type. Anything they have anything to do with, no matter how good it sounds, turns into a disaster.

Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to listen to this drivel. You are a terminal fool.

"Now some of you may encounter the devil's bargain if you get that far. Any old soul is worth saving at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying. So you can take the offer as a compliment. They charge the easy ones first, you know, like money, all the money there is. But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery? Not much to spend it on, eh, Gramps? Getting too old to cut the mustard. Have you forgotten something, Gramps? In order to feel something, you have to be there. You have to be 18. You're not 18, you are 78. Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on.

How about an honorable bargain? "You always wanted to become a doctor. Now's your chance. Why, you could have become a great healer and benefit humanity. What's wrong with that?" Just about everything. There are no honorable bargains involving exchange of qualitative merchandise like souls. Just quantitative merchandise like time and money. So piss off, Satan, and don't take me for dumber than I look. As an old junk pusher told me, "Watch whose money you pick up."

-- William S. Burroughs

Ego Is Not A Dirty Word

Some people keep their egos in a bottom drawer
A fridge full of Leonard Cohen
Have to get drunk just to walk out the door
Stay drunk to keep on goin'
So if you got an ego
You better keep it in good shape
Exercise it daily
And get it down on tape

Ego is not a dirty word
Ego is not a dirty word
Ego is not a dirty word
Don't you believe what you've seen or heard...

- Skyhooks
'Ego Is Not A Dirty Word'

As much as I KNOW I am cute and funny and smart and lovable and curious and generous and sexy and one hell of a shag and kinky to boot and kind to strangers and creative and lively and fun and all round not a bad package sometimes all it takes is for one person to dismiss me and I start to question it all... not for long usually, and I have enough lovely people to pat my head and affirm my worth and enough good things in my life that I can see that I am not a useless failure who nobody loves fairly quickly. The bruises on my ego heal quicker these days but the initial blow still always stings.

Wrong Side Of The Roads

And lay down here beside me
Let me hold you in the dirt
And you'll tremble as the flames
Tear the throat out of the night
Sink your teeth into my shoulder
Dig your nails into my back
Tell that little girl to let go of my sleeve
You'll be a woman when I catch you
As you fall in love with me...

- Tom Waits
'Wrong Side Of The Road'

These lyrics always made me want to be that girl when I was younger. Now I want to DO that to that girl. And seems I can sometimes. I love my life, a lot.

You Just Like Me 'Cos I'm Good In Bed

At least we weren't listening to Skyhooks:

You just like me 'cos I'm good in bed
Yeah that's what your girlfriend said
You just like me 'cos I give you some head
You just like me 'cos I'm good in bed

Interlude

Yes, we were listening to Morrissey together in bed, and yes, you may giggle about it and the fact that this song (Interlude, with Siouxsie) came on as we lay there, and yes its awfully soppy but somehow apt...

Time is like a dream
And now, for a time, you are mine
Lets hold fast to the dream
That tastes and sparkles like wine

Who knows (who knows)
If its real
Or just something we're both dreaming of
What seems like an interlude now
Could be the beginning of love

Gone Daddy Gone

Sometimes, in order to be all subtle, I will not blog specific incidents but the song lyrics they call to mind. Its like a riddle. Here's Gone Daddy Gone, by the Violent Femmes (how appropriate could it get?)

Tell by the way that you switch your walk
I can see by the way that you baby talk
I can know by the way that you treat your man
I can love you baby 'til it's a crime

Cuz it's gone daddy gone
Love is gone
Yeah, it's gone daddy gone
Love is gone
Yeah, it's gone daddy gone
Love is gone
Gone daddy gone
The love is gone away

Beautiful girl, lovely dress
15 smiles, oh yes
Beautiful girl, lovely dress
where she is now I can only guess

Real Men

Bugger surgery, hormones, binding, packing, pronouns and name changes... the true test of a Real Man is whether he leaves the toilet seat up. And another one just passed today. Which reminds me, I heard this the other day at the Show and almost cried- both at remembering some glimpse of my youth and realising that I really do like Joe Jackson a LOT. Here's his Real Men lyrics:

Take your mind back
I don't know when
Sometime when it always seemed
To be just us and them
Girls that wore pink
Boys that wore blue
Boys that always grew up better men
Than me and you

What's a man now
What's a man mean
Is he rough or is he rugged
Cultural and clean?
Now it's all changed
It's got to change more
We think it's getting better
But nobody's really sure

And so it goes, go round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are

See the nice boys
Dancing in pairs
Golden earring, golden tan
Blow-wave in the hair
Sure they're all straight
Straight as a line
All the guys are macho
See their leather shine

You don't want to sound dumb
Don't want to offend
So don't call me a faggot
Not unless you are a friend
Then if you're tall, handsome and strong
You can wear the uniform and I could play along

And so it goes, go round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are

Time to get scared
Time to change plan
Don't know how to treat a lady
Don't know how to be a man
Time to admit
What you call defeat
'cause there's women running past you now
And you just drag your feet

Man makes a gun
Man goes to war
Man can kill and man can drink
And man can take a whore
Kill all the blacks
Kill all the reds
If there's war between the sexes
Then there will be no people left

And so it goes, go round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are