Femme Fables

'But that's the trick. These feelings make me dependent and raw, wide open to any demand that a lover might make. They shift my balance, make me compromise to avoid conflict, and seduce me into not struggling aganist any difference which comes up between us. I desire unity at any cost, sometimes at the expense of my own independence and needs. I am in a panic not to be walled in alone. I feel my body to be without its own engine; I am unplugged into her desire for me and cannot opersate without it. I feel like a beggar released from bondage for a moment, but threatened with the return to it if the relationship ends, if I am inadequate at holding this lover in a spell of desire for me. I see how little control I have over the life of the relationship, even with hard work and commitment.'

- Amber L. Hollibaugh
'Femme Fables'
in Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity
ed Brushwood Rose and Camilleri