Monday, February 05, 2007

Shooting Cupid

Valentine's Day is fast approaching. And I am single (though nobody has officially said as much, and I am just reading between the lines). Red and pink cardboard hearts and curling ribbon scream out to me from shop windows, reminding me that this February 14th I will have the opportunity to: Pop the cork on my own bottle of champagne. Pick my own flowers. Pay for my own dinner. Write my own card. Light my own cigarettes. Poke my own bruises. Buckle my own collar. Sleep in my own bed. Send my own mushy text messages. Sing my own love songs. Fondle my own bits in the back row of the movies.

Initially I panicked about this state of affairs. After all, single is not a condition that Zoo has had much experience of in the last 15 years or so. And frankly, being alone on my birthday was absolutely horrific- but I think that was more due to being dumped by blanking* two days before it than being single as such. As the weeks move on and the insult and injury begin to fade I'm beginning to appreciate the solo thing a little bit more. True, I still wake up thinking of the same three people most mornings, but not for as long as I used to.

Was watching More Tales Of The City the other night (on my own of course), and in it Mouse had constructed Michael Tolliver's Dirty Thirty for 1977 list of Valentine's Day resolutions, much to the amusement of Maryanne. Number 1 was 'not to call anyone nelly or butch- unless that's his name', but I can't recall the others. To celebrate the 30th Anniversary of this list, I'm trying to construct my own list of resolutions to protect both my heart and the hearts of those who take up the challenge of having some type of love-liason with me. Here's the beginning:

1. Sip the honey and spit out the sting. (Or vice versa, depending on my mood)
2. Do not use anyone else's gender identity/ies or sexual preference/s to validate my own.
3. Do not allow anyone else to use my gender identity/ies or sexual preference/s to validate their own.
4. Remember that dependency and love are not the same thing.
5. Do not text lovers, ex-lovers or anyone else I have ever been 'involved with' when drunk.
6. Never say never. Its tempting Fate, and She likes a laugh.
7. Recognise what I want when I have it, even if its not what I was expecting:
Mrs. Madrigal: He's a sweet boy, Mona. I approve of him wholeheartedly.
Mona Ramsay: You make it sound like we're married or something.
Mrs. Madrigal: There are all kinds of marriages, dear.
Mona Ramsay: I don't think you understand the trip with me and Michael.
Mrs. Madrigal: Mona, lots of things are more binding than sex. They last longer too.

-30 Under construction. Am open to suggestions!


* A process in which it is never stated that you have been dumped, but you are simply completely ignored by your (ex)partner and left to fill in the blanks on your own. Its a cruel twist that adds an element of uncertainty to the rejection. It is especially effective if the dumper should shower the dumpee with admiration/make plans to move in with the dumpee/flirt excessively with the dumpee and then completely shut the dumpee off without warning within the same 24 hour period.

Labels: ,

1 Comments:

Blogger Sean Carter said...

Valentines Day is just around the corner and it's a wonderful celebration to...an entire day dedicated to the celebration of love..and it's not just restricted to couples only...there are lot many things for all of us to do...well for all the cool ideas and suggestions you can check out my blog sometime and find out all that i've posted there!!!

6:25 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home