Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Little Miss Manners

We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

- Talking Heads
'Psycho Killer'

There's a person that I really like on a lot of levels- funny, sexy, cute, a damn lovely cuddle and a decent chat, intelligent, political, kinky. We played a couple of times, hung out a bit and had some pretty special talks. Zie is playing with some of my mates, and this was all nice and good really, even if I was getting left out of the lovin' loop. But then recently I found myself becoming a little antagonistic towards zir, and thought maybe it was just a touch of jealousy and insecurity and I was simply being a childish bitch. I'm sure that this is part of it, wanting someone in a way that this someone doesn't want me, the indignity and ouchiness of unrequited lust and longing. Sometimes I'm not that mature really, and just want my slice of cake to take home from the party. And a lolly bag, the pass the parcel prize, and the tail still pinned firmly on the donkey. And I can get awfully sulky when I don't get it! Stompy 5 five year old Zoo with her knickers in a twist and a curl in the middle of her forehead.

But then something else occurred to me. I had gone out of my way for this person. Invited zir to stay with me, which zie then did (though did not organise it with me directly but another friend who was also staying here. Felt a little odd, but figured it was 'cos zie was maybe a bit shy and knew the other person better so let it go). Emailed zir pix from adventures we had shared- no reply. Emailed a list of fun things to do and upcoming events zie might like to come to- no reply. Invited zir to various parties and whatnot- only got one (negative) reply. Sent zir a blog post I'd written about a trip we took- no reply. Sent a link to a book that was relevent to a discussion we'd had- not a thankyou or a mention of it. Hmmm. And all the while zie is merrily telling me about how zie spent a whole day on the net, and texting people while we are out together. So its not like zie doesn't have the technology. And there were plenty of face-to-face times when a thankyou could have been said. Double hmmm. Now, it doesn't take much to be polite. Even to people you are not shagging, and don't want to shag. If someone is nice enough to invite you somewhere and you don't want to go, or can't, you say 'sorry I won't be making it but thanks for the invite'. If someone sends you some photos, or takes the time to locate a book they think you will like, you say 'thankyou'. Simple.

I can't guess at zir motivations for being that rude to me. Maybe it wasn't intentional, maybe its just that zie was too busy thinking about getting zir end in to be bothered with anyone else, maybe zie got distracted by something bright and shiny just as zie was going to write that text. Maybe zie never had a Daddy that taught zie any manners. Maybe its not a case so much of malice as ignorance or a short attentions span.

But it hurts, and reopens old wounds. When I was in high school I was never really harrassed, never teased or bullied as such. I was simply ignored, the nerdy kid who got straight As and won prizes in competitions and hung out in the library at lunchtime but wasn't worth teasing about it. I had friends, sure, but was always on the fringes. Not particularly offensive, just invisible.

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