Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Smoking Banana Skins

I think I am slowly giving up smoking. Not sure why, but it seems to be happening of its own accord! I just don't want cigarettes very much anymore. I forget about them for days at a time, only realising when I find myself all vague and mildly panicky and sort of disassociating that the shakiness of body and mind I am experiencing is due to lacking my usual allowance of nicotine. Part of the addiction is habit, true, but unless I am drinking that doesn't really kick in. Just the cravings, and, as crass as this sounds, the desire for my mouth to be full. To counter this, I eat. Now this could get dangerous if I was to replace ciggies with chocky or cheesy delights, so my plan is to EAT FRUIT instead. Simple, but seems to be working. And I can get a LOT more oral satisfaction from $11 worth of apples and bananas and sultanas and dates and figs than from 25 cancer sticks... Hmm, not sure why, but don't even have that great a desire to get pissed at the moment. Instincts tending towards all-nighters at Uni rather than the pub, and to dancing in my happypants rather than my pissypants. I feel a very strong urge, a NEED, to keep a clear head at the moment, to see things properly, to notice and comprehend, not to be so afraid of my surroundings that I have to block them out...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Anne Bentley said...

Very cool, Zoo. your subconscious is being very good to you. It’s really nice not to have to stop what youre doing for a cigarette - that’s what I really like about not smoking... it’s a real freedom.
- Anne xo

6:03 pm  

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