Spikes, And Lips

Recently I met one a dear friend's grandad. He's a bit of an old pisspot methinks, and apparently not too concerned of being considered a right sleazy git either. For after I had been introduced to him, he turned to my mate and, referring to my lip spikes, commented

'That Zoo. You'd have to turn her upside down to kiss her.'

'Oh no,' my friend assured him. 'That's even worse.'