Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ella Dreyfus' Transman Part Two

More quotes to ponder from the Transman himself:

'I think many people occupy their body as an unwilling tenant- treat it as casually as if it were someone else's old clothing. I own my body in every sense- I've bought, traded, built and worked for it- it's mine.'

And

'Disclosure, loss of privacy, showing all who or what I am, a trade-off for your education or interest. Is it worth it? I hope so.'

As I sit here with my breasts full and aching, my bottom lip newly punctured and swollen (I smile like I have been Botoxed) and the three-week-old scars from my last show itching across my tummy I am planning out conference papers that blatantly reveal the obsessions of my psyche and performances that make me cry with feelings of vulnerability and fragility even as I write them up. I think of how open I am with some things in some contexts, yet can't pump in the women's room for fear of being asked questions and having to explain my project to someone outside of 'the circle', a random engineering or accounting student who will look at me and my empty baby bottle curiously and ask 'so, there's no baby?'. Would rather sit in the toilets and pump in private, and can sort of understand how some mother's must feel- and how sometimes it may actually be a CHOICE to remain hidden away. Even if you COULD be open about it and educate the world about owning your body!

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