Thursday, September 28, 2006

Guys and Dolls

Was having coffee with Mister Hunter and MasterSuze the other day when it was decided that we must go at play in the sex shop upstairs from our fave gelato bar. I was innocently discussing who buys lactoporn, and my lacto project, studies etc with the new owner, when he mentioned that he had something I might be interested in. Did he ever!

As of tomorrow when I collect her, I will be the proud 'owner' of a Lactating Blow-Up Doll (and the Inflate-A-Date pump with which to breathe life into her). She is blonde, of course, with three functional orifices (no points for guessing which) and two vibrating parts (which two I'm not sure). As a quirky extra feature she comes with a pubic hair tattoo which may be applied if you like your girl to be furry. Or at least as furry as a transfer can get. Then, of course, are the BREASTS, which you can fill up with milk and then suckle from them, squirt milk across the room or over your face or... endless hours of mammary moistness and mess!

Think she will be a great performance partner. But what to name her? Could do a Daisy, Clover or Bertha 'cow' name I suppose. Or maybe choose one of my 'Milk Fever' cast members such as:

La Milquetta
Fugitive Fluid and Milk Diva. Italian, not shy of melodramatic
displays. Highly theatrical with a biting wit. Prone to histrionic
outbursts and most often found bitching and getting up to no good with

But then again, perhaps I would be more suitable as La Milquetta! Maybe Mamma Milkenstein? Any other suggestions? (BTW I have named my pump Lactentia Sugentia aka The Suckling One). Will post a photo of her once I have collected, inflated, pube-ified and milk-ed her.


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