Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Milk and T

As I mentioned before I had been strangely uneasy about telling me mother about the LactoGrrl Project. Seemed odd to be discussing it with the woman who breastfed me (after birthing me), like it was a 'womanly art' that daughters ought to share with their Mums- but I was cheating at being a woman!? What type of 'pseudo-daughter' am I anyway?

Eventually bit the bullet and told her last night. She didn't even blink. Seemed to be expecting it, especially after having read my Honours thesis. And she knows me well enough not to consider it out of my range of inquiry... was nice to 'get it off my chest'. Although I still waited until everyone was in bed until I pumped it was considerably less nerve-racking. Showed her my pump (with my milk) in it this morning and it was all matter-of-fact chat about when she fed me and my brothers, weaning, expressing etc. Nice, if odd.

On a different note, am enjoying being a bit bigger in the breast department. Having lost quite a bit o weight my tits were a mere shadow of their former glory and I missed them spilling out of dresses and into mouths. Hoping to feed some dear friends tonight, as I want to see what it is like with adults. When I was in Melbourne recently a friend let me try her young child at the breast and it was beautiful, if short-lived 'cos she wasn't getting much (that's us in the photo)...

Also told memy mother about the fact that some of the boys I mention had not always been boys, or at least, had not always presented as/identified as boys.
Mother: 'Transgender?'
Zoo: 'Yeah'.
M: 'So, how does that work with relationships?'
Z: '*GULP* (oh no, trannysex talk coming up!)...'
M: 'Not the physical stuff, but with having relationships as a boy'

Sometimes my mother scares me with her questions. A little too close to the bone! Ouch. Explained as much as I could from my own experiences and readings and observations.

Of course, she then asked me about how I identified. Told her I was omnisexual, which seemed to go down okay. And that I didn't really consider myself female as such, to which she replied taht she figured I hadn't for a while (or words to that effect).

Think she was more disturbed by my new lip spikes than anything else. Tried explaining it was just a different aesthetic and not necessarily about making myself unattractive or disfigured. Oooh, kissed Hunter yesterday with his new spiky labret jewellery and it was most fun. Spikes on spike...


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