Milky Magic

Fenugreek makes me smell like imitation maple syrup. Milk thistle tea tastes more like thistle than milk. Fennel seed infusion tastes a little like aniseed. I am drinking litres of water and pissing all the time it seems., yet feel quite dehydrated and keep wanting to drink more. My forearms are getting strong from pumping four times a day. I am getting weird cravings. My moods are a little erratic, in that all of a sudden I will feel like crying at kittens (and there is no other reason). Or suddenly I will wanttof all asleep where I stand. Will try to work out whether these crashes and emotional changes are correlated to when I pump or what I am consuming, if they occur a certain time after a session or when the herbs hit or... not that it worries me really. Its interesting, and all a sign that my LactoGrrl project is working!

Now when I pump it drips, and today for the first time there was enough for it to actually collect in the attached bottle. I dropped some of it in the fennel tea, but it didn't make a difference at all to colour or taste. Need to be producing considerably more before I invite you all around for a tea party!

All that is missing is a mouth to feed. I have a strong urge to hold that certain someone's head in my hands, to offer my milk to that waiting tongue, to drizzle it all over warm flesh... its erotic, sure, but more about temperature and tenderness and merging and incorporation than getting my rocks off. There is a certain look that babies get, satiated and blissed out, that post-feed drunkeness- and I have seen it on the faces of lovers too. The beauty of fluid exchanges, or engorgement and gorging, of the alimentary, the death drive, of being eaten alive, drained, sucked dry, spent...

(And if anyone is wondering how to suckle, here is a handy how to latch link)