Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

You know the feeling that everybody else is in on some secret that concerns you but nobody is telling? When I came out as queer/bi/dyke/faggot, most people I knew were spectaclarly unsuprised, and much less shocked than I was- as if they had all known it for years. Of course, I had been picking up copies of the Sydney Star Observer and obsessively hanging around Oxford St fag-hagging with the twinks from work, joining the women's collective (in the hope of meeting some dykey grrls), but had no idea why I was doing it! I had boys offering me their bi girlfriends for practice, and girls cruising me across the dancefloor at Stonewall, but I was not believing it somehow. Nah, I couldn't be, could I?

Well, at the moment I have that feeling around gender/trans stuff. Reading trans books, hanging out with trans people, looking up surgeries and packers online, skirting around the edges of it all. And have an inkling that in ten years time I will be identifying as trans(something) and getting surgeries or taking hormones or whatever, probably not to be boy, but to be 'other', and all my mates will look at me and go 'd'uh! we knew it all along!'.

I can't be a dyke 'cos I look so girly. I can't be trans 'cos I look so girly. Oh dear. What if this is true? Either way?