Recipe For Zoo Meringue Pie

Marinate one hyperhorny Zoo in champagne, beer and a glass or two of very good red wine.
Truss with rope and handcuffs.
Stuff with a bar of chocolate, a fistful of fingers and various toys (into various orifices).
Glaze with a mixture of lube and amyl.
Squeeze any excess juice into a piss bucket and reserve for later use.
Garnish with a row of needles down the left shin.
Serve warm on a waterbed of steamed sheets.

Oh my, I don't know how it all came to pass really but there I was last night, all bedrunken and with the full effects of the combined anniversary/funeral day beginning to hit me hard, highly confused and worrying about a sad ex in need and wondering if I had just said something silly to a person I really like and seem to get all stupid around and whether I should have made a move on the very pervy boy I've been wanting to do rude things with for ages now and what I could possibly do to remove the small and highly touchyflirty baby dyke from my skirttails without being rude and then... all of a sudden I am in the backseat of a car being driven to an undisclosed destination to end the evening being topped, tortured and titillated by two very wicked women. No idea how I managed it, or if I even managed it at all, but floated home very frothy!