Thursday, September 04, 2008

Me and Her Shadow

I live in her house, shacked up with her former love and the shared custody of her cats. I eat from her plates, and cook food from her pantry and fridge in her pans. I renovate her back room, give her walls another coat of paint. I hang out with her friends, and hold parties in her yard. I sleep and sit and watch TV from her furniture. Actually, its probably her TV too. I am learning all the things she knows about favourite movies and comedians and where the string and clingwrap are kept. Sometimes I find an old anniversary card or photo stuck to the fridge or staring at me from a shelf.

I moved away from my past, my ghosts stain other sheets and get their mail in other letterboxes. This ghost isn't mine, but she still haunts me. Some days I feel like I just slipped neatly into the hole she left somehow. Often I jump at shadows and I am not sure if they are mine or hers.

And then I wonder why I am spooked.

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