Friday, February 23, 2007


As well as seeing the psych, have decided to do a little bit of independent work on my mental health. Have been scouting about on the web, looking mostly as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. And in the process, came across the amazing MoodGym, an initiative of ANU that describes itself as 'A free self help program to teach cognitive behaviour therapy skills to people vulnerable to depression and anxiety.' Its kind of cheesy, in that public health-info brouchure jokey way with silly characters and rather simplistic language, but has some useful basics on identifying thought patterns etc so far. Have only just started, and already learned from the first two quizzes:
Depression- middle to high range. Anxiety- middle to high range.

I am just so sick of being the crazy girl. The one with really shaky self-esteem, the one who is super-sensitive to rejection, the one who drinks to much in an attempt to self-medicate, the one who gets into inappropriate relationships and gets destroyed when they don't work out, the one who doesn't have enough faith in herself to go with her gut instincts. But damn, its a bloody deep hole I'm in, years of ingrained behaviours that I need to train myself out of. I wouldn't care so much if I was just hurting me, but so many people are effected negatively by my insanity- friends, lovers, housemates, supervisors and last but not least my long-suffering family. It HAS to stop, even if it means thinking about things I'd rather not deal with or taking myself to the MoodGym.



Anonymous t0xic_honey said...

hey zoo... your erstwhile would-be-but-never-was stalker here... still reading, still making connections here and there... just in the throes of creating strong support networks through various systems for my own chronic panic/anxiety/depression stuff, my beloved anhedonia... my dis-ease has been a destabilising force (and no doubt a shaping force) in my life for ooooohhhhh about 30 years now. I'm having a moment, as i do... so go back into battle... anyway, if you wanna chat about it, you know my email address, and my number. i take it lismore is off the agenda this year... hell, who wouldn't choose berlin? lismore... berlin.... lismore... berlin... no brainer i guess... take care x

8:00 pm  
Blogger Zoo said...

Excellent to hear from you again! I have missed your comments somewhat. Will email or call you sometime very soon for a catch-up...


3:55 pm  

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