Wednesday, May 23, 2007

On A Brighter Note

(Now, none of you go taking this the wrong way now, its a questioning not an accusation or complaint or put-down, and yes, I readily admit that I'm mad as a cut snake too, no question there...)

Its been disturbing me lately that I am surrounded by so much unhappiness. So many friends who are depressed, medicated, not coping, strung out, alcoholic, chemically dependent. I don't know how to deal with it sometimes, everyone is full of stories about their days of addiction or the years they spent lying in bed or their history of abuse or the times they tried to overdose, there are scars on every second wrist and anti-depressants in every second bathroom cabinet... Yes, we laugh a lot. We create, we write, we perform, we invent, we question, we dance, we sing, we debate, we discuss. We are vibrant, dynamic, intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, generous. We support each other, build communities, share survival strategies and skills and workshop our experiences, give each other massages and cups of green tea and vegan chocolate cakes. But so many of us are still so very very sad, still wrestling the black dog each and every day, still struggling just to get out of bed in the morning (or even afternoon), still having panic attacks underneath the sheets or popping pills just so that we can leave the house.

I know that these things are major issues for all sorts of people, but its my immediate friends and family that are my main concern now. I don't want us to implode, to destroy ourselves from within, to eat our own, to play our insecurities and injuries onto others who share them.

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