Wednesday, February 28, 2007

TBoy, or Not TBoy

This is a conversation between Miranda/Randy and Ariel, in one of my favourite filthy books of all time:

'I felt pretty surprised myself. I hadn’t even known consciously that I was going to say it, and now I was stuck trying to explain something even I didn’t understand.

“I…I guess I’ve been thinking about it because of Jack.”
“Like maybe he’d rather have a real boy than Memorex?”
“I guess.” I took a long slug of my latte for fortification.
“Darlin’, tell me. When you were little, did you keep waiting for your penis to grow in?”
“Did you feel trapped in the body of a girl, like it was the wrong body for you?”
“When your breasts started to grow, did they humiliate you? More than the average pubescent girl, that is.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, voila, then chances are you’re not a true transsexual. You’d flunk at the gender clinic, anyway. If you’re going to go through with this, I can see I’ll need to make some flash cards and work with you until you can go in there and seem genuinely gender dysphoric. Now for the next set of challenging questions. Do you like your body the way it is? As much as any American woman can be said to like her body, given that we’re supposed to look like anorexic fourteen-year-olds?”
“Basically, yes.”
“Specifically, do you like your breasts and cunt?” '

— Carol Queen
'The Leather Daddy and The Femme'

When you look at like that, well, I think I am just about as gender dysphoric as young Miranda/Randy really. I like my cunt, a lot. Gives me and quite a few others a fair amount of fun. I have induced lactation, so its not exactly like I am particularly perturbed by my fully-fledged and fully-female mammaries. And I have NO desire for masculine dangly bits really. Quite clearly, Zoo is not by these definitions any sort of boy at all. Not that I ever thought I was- that's never been the point of my gender confusion... Yet, when I look at the gorgeous TBoys in my midst, there is something they have that I want. Furry faces and nicely scarred flat chests and giant clits, sure, but I'm not sure that what I'm longing for is purely physical. Nothing is ever THAT simple!

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