Monday, August 07, 2006

Family Matters

For those of you who don't read the comments, a certain nevertoold just brought this most fabulous fetusmart site to my attention. Brilliant, and may just solve some of my issues re maternity!

Found this article from the Village Voice in June, and if you haven't seen it yet, you should all check out this bunch of queer/poly/trans/non-monog/genderfucking/androgynous/bi folk/cross dressers and other curious creatures shagging like rabbits and making quotes like 'I feel politically and socially invested in the idea of non-monogamy. It can bring difficulty, but it is something worth fighting for' and 'being polyamorous is about being committed to a different kind of family structure. You really push yourself, and push your lovers'. So, click here: Beyond Gay Marriage. Hmmm.. much to think about. A few years back I wrote a piece on gay kinship and stuff, arguing

'Despite, of perhaps by virtue of, the positive relations I have with my 'biologicals', I myself attempt to create my own queer families... I hunt the comfort of hearth and home, a safe space, I collect the branches of the family tree and furtively assemble them to divulge my queer histories. It is a semantic performance which I have found to be ultimately unlivable, as I adopt the roles of Wife/Husband, Mummy/Daddy, Daughter/Son or Sister/Brother with ever-increasing unease. This is not my heritage- I find no asylum within this framework and cannot comprehend the mother-tongue of my kinfolk...'

All this born-again-slut life of shagging about and playing around at the moment has thrown me into a spin somewhat. Singledom is serving me pretty well, I like the freedom and the chance to work out who I am when I am not attached to someone else, but doing my own aftercare is doing my head in. I miss having a partner-person, or several partner-persons, the someone/s you can come home to at the end of a filthy day fucking about and just flop on the couch with and cuddle when you are crashing from a big beating. That understands all about you- shares some of your history and gets your jokes and rolls eyes at your bad moods and knows how you like your porridge. That is some sort of constant amongst all the various and constantly changing adventures. That shares some of those adventures with you. Geez, is that sounding too Hallmark? Not sure WHAT the point of this ramble is really, just musing and trying to work out how I want to be in the world.

I have dabbled in non-monog and open and poly relationships, but it was some time ago now (before my unexpected detour to the Land of Vanilla Monogomy) and though the 'why' is still fresh in my mind the 'how' has escaped me. Being single at the moment it is not that much of an issue, but I still need to work it out. Politically, ethically, philosophically, on so many levels, this is what I believe in. And more and more its feeling like this is what I want to end up with eventually. Ahhh... to bed now. Waffling, and need to get some sleep before big day at the piercer's tomorrow.

Meant to tell you all about my cavorting last night, as I know a certain someone will be waiting for that post. But the muse leads me where she will, and who am I to argue? So you got some weird poly rant instead. Needless to say, the whole post was just going to be smut. Damn fine smut, if a little bedrunken, but smut all the same ;)

'And I walk home alone
But my faith in love is still devout'
-The Smiths

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