I'll have one Innoculatte...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1. *Cashtration (n)*: The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. *Intaxication*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. *Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. *Bozone (n)*: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

5. *Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.

6. *Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. *Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

8. *Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

9. *Hipatitis*: Terminal coolness.

10. *Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. *Karmageddon*: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it's, like, a serious bummer.

12. *Decafalon (n)*: The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13. *Glibido*: All talk and no action.

14. *Dopeler effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

15. *Arachnoleptic fit (n)*: The frantic dance you perform just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. * Beelzebug (n)*: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. *Caterpallor (n)*: The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.

18. *Ignoranus*: A person who's both stupid and an asshole