Friday, August 11, 2006

John Wayne is Big Leggy/Best Cock On The Block

Walking like The Duke all day. Woke up this morning barely able to roll over in bed. Pity, as yummy naked person lying next to me- but not in much state to even cuddle. Swaggered home somehow in last night's petticoats and smudges. Stinking like the Sly, all sweat and smoke and the scents of seduction, so drag bits in pieces into shower. Ooooh, warm water on fresh wounds! Then sprayed my ouchiness with the fabulous 'purified ocean water in a spray can' provided by Polymorph (what will they think of next?). *STING*. Couldn't bear the thought of snug knickers or tights, so pulled on softest boxers and baggy-ish camos and go all boy for the day. Need the ball-room as still bigger than average. And seemed entirely appropriate, given the way I was walking and my planned hunting expedition.

Met The Littlest Leprechaun after work for Sheperd's Pie and a trip to Adult Land to find myself a new strap-on harness. Had brought along my old faithful Big Black and Beautiful for the fitting, but seems he is a little too well-endowed in the testicle department to fit into most harnesses. Then fall in love with the Sire cock from the DVice range. And the shop assistant boy- so sweet and helpful! But no harnesses fit Sire either! What to do? Head to Adult World down the road, same deal. But Sire significantly cheaper there, so buy him (in black) and the funny boy who works there throws in a bunch of weird little anti-bacterial and anti-viral wipes to clean Sire. Which is a very good thing, as was wondering whether most condoms will fit him (once had a similar problem with a Swedish military boy called Lasse *shiver*). A friend did suggest that maybe he was a bit of a cervix-basher, which did make me have second doubts for a moment, and ponder just why I am such a faggoty size queen. But he's only 20cm, which is only 7.874inches.... Hmmm. Am thinking that I need to rename Sire though. Any suggestions?

'What can I say?
They can't stay away
From the best cock
On the block today' - Bitch and Animal

Trawled the other sex stores in Newtown for suitable harnesses to avail. Called Whoretic to see what she was up to, and she agreed to come on a spontaneous shopping trip to Oxford St. Tool Shed provided the goods straight up- is this an indication of Darlo being more gayboy ghetto than lesbian enclave? Fruitless search for a functional Rubber Duckie vibrator (found three, none worked) but W did collar three tubes of the elusive aloe vera lube. Excited about my new equipment, and have quite an urge to go cruising The Midnight Shift (effect of wearing boots, collar, bondage belt, camos, and carrying a BIG COCK). But sense prevails, so get the bus home. Sit watching cable comedy channel and wishing I wasn't so injured. Want to play with new toys!

1 Comments:

Anonymous the whore next door said...

Zoo - you can take me on spontaneous shopping adventures anytime - had almost as much fun as when purchasing my favourite lockable stilettos!
I had an idea for Sire's new name - in the spirit of forced feminisation of anything that big and intimidating - "Bambi" - what do you think? big slurps.

12:11 pm  

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