The Name Game

My latest, and quite possibly greatest, effort for Cherrie is this month's cover article, The Name Game. Pick up a copy, or find it online here. And be sure to check out Wife, Arlene Texta Queen, Ali H's AMAZING piece of erotica (did it for me!) and Miss Yasmin's tip (also did it for me). All in all, not a bad read...

Rant Of The Day

I have a filthy headache, and am coming down with something nasty it seems, and am all sneezy and sinus-y and... well, here's a rant:

I HATE it when people will not communicate. Point in case: trying to organising a present for mate's birthday. Its something she really wants, and we have discussed. And so, when trying to organise it, she disappears for a couple of days. Doesn't answer phone, or reply online. Then when she DOES reply, gets all narky, and doesn't tell us what we need to know anyway. I'm sorry, but since when is it to ANYONE'S benefit to be obtuse and obstructive? And when people are actually HELPING YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, well, what is the point in being difficult and short-tempered? This is not the first time this has happened recently, with different people, and it all strikes me as a little silly!

Its like those awful website where you can't find the price of a product, or check a fare, without signing up or at least entering a whole pile of details. Do these companies NOT want business? Why not just make it user-friendly?

Be nice, co-operate, then everyone can have easier lives. Simple.

You, Blush? No!

It seems that some people out there think I am immune to blushing, even when I am being paid attention by some exquisite creature. And getting all flustered if they look at me across the dancefloor or offer me a drink, or if they stand just that little bit closer than casually, or brush against me as they pass, or whisper sweet obscenities in my ear... I get tongue-tied, all a-quiver, can't think straight and tend to just babble inanely if not clammed up entirely. And I love it.

Its been happening a lot lately. Usually its all about the Monster-- when she gives me THAT look, or I just know she is watching me dance or walk or eat or do anything at all. The Pride Party was deliciously nerve-wracking, not only being flirted with by amazing creatures, wibbly-mmaking in its own right, but knowing that it was all being observed by her... *shiver*...

Pride Parade, And Party

Oh, so much has been going on of late I have barely had the time or brainspace to get any proper blogging in...

This weekend was Perth Pride. As most of you will know, the delectable little cub Aram Hosie is the current Pride Patron, and so a pile of his mates volunteered to help build him a float for the parade. To cut a long story short, this involved a bit of planning, a bit of shopping, and a LOT of balloon blowing and tying and banner hanging etc! But it worked, and even though it was small (10 people or so) it got plenty of cheers from the crowds and people actually seemed to respond to the message-- essentially, that trans*/gender variant folk need rights to healthcare, legal recognition and so on. Extra credit points go to Monster for coming up with the 'Lost In Trans*lation' slogan we had on the signs we held-- she's a bloody creative genius, whip- smart and with a wicked sense of humour! And the parade itself was so stupidly warm and fuzzy and 'community', only 30 or so floats and a great vibe to it, like Mardi Gras but all over in half an hour, and the crowd so delightful that I just beamed the whole way... Then quick dismantling of float, back to NeedleNurse's flat to get changed and drink champagne and into the night again, to the official after-party at Connie's. Whilst the music was probably not as bad as it was elsewhere, it was still a bit, umm, lightweight, but had a fabulous time regardless. Soooooooo many people recognised me that I felt like some sort of b-grade Perth-anality already, has only been 4 months-ish since I arrived and it was just crazy! And there was a filthy sexy vibe to the place, and I danced and canoodled ever-so-much with the Monster and flirted plenty (some of it with much intent-- its not a matter of IF but WHEN you know *wink*), and generally just shmoozed and drank vodka and watched drag shows and talked nonsense and giggled and beamed and whirled about! Then we headed home as the sun came up, for Monster showers and cuddling in bed wrapped up in each other, feet sore and bodies aching and with that satisfied exhaustion that comes from such things...PERFECT!

You Should've Left The Light On...

Around 6pm yesterday afternoon I was happily sanding down the front fence, being all butch and handy on a post-Pride parade and party Sunday, when I got a call from the Zoo crew. A performer was ill and they had no show, could I replace?

Fortunately wasn't feeling too sickly from the previous 5am bedtime and dancing and schmoozing, so figured I could manage it, and within two hours, with the most-able assistance of the magnificent Monster, I had music and props arranged and constructed, had rehearsed a couple of times, and was almost ready to go! Here's the bones of the show, with pix available soon:

Sinead O Connor's epic piece, 'Troy'. I have LONG wanted to do a show to this, and know it inside out from many a heartbroken session of howling to it in years gone by.
Outfit: Barefoot. Blue satin jumpsuit, with lace trim, ties at front leaving keyhole opening over tummy. Long blonde curly wig. Whiteface, with various blue shading and shadow, electric glitter lipstick. White cotton knickers. Blue feathers, attached to needles, pierced into tummy, breasts, and just above my pink bits. Dental gag. Plastic heart, pulsing through different coloured light, attached to chest.
Action: Begin on stage, sitting in medical chair, covered with white sheet.
Slowly start to emerge, until standing on stage, looking into audience.
Heart falls off (unintentional!). Hold heart out to audience, move through them, touching them, reaching out, throw heart away...
Back on stage, go to one side to pick up corkboard covered in paper, with outline of voodoo doll on it, cross eyes and big red heart. Show to audience, touch, kiss?, sit it on chair. Kneel before it, 'I'd kill a dragon for you... I will rise, I will return'.
Undo tie on jumpsuit, slowly remove. Stand in front of audience, all feathers and white knickers and dental gag.
Music shifts, start ripping out the feathers, and stabbing them into the doll. Leave the three under my knickers until last, eliciting at least one gasp when revealed.
Wipe blood all over tummy and tits, then use to draw a smile onto the doll.
Lie down on stage, and end covered in sheet.

Think it worked! People seemed to like it, and it FELT good! Perfect end to perfect weekend really, and the dancefloor was going off, and there were flirty bears everywhere, and I cage-danced and was writhing all over the Monster, and there was plenty of free beer for us, and Space played one of the best sets I have heard in Perth-- dirty, dark, music to sweat and play and crawl about to, and I was on the most tremendous buzz from the endorphin rush of blood performance and... well... it was a beautiful thing!

52 Pickups- Just Got The Cards

Oh, they are gorgeous! So many pervy people doing so many cute shoots! And fabulous blurbs, if I do say myself (I write a stack of them). Grab a deck if you get the chance!

Did I Mention There Is LOTS OF ART In Perth???

Hybrid performance in Australia

A unique cross-platform event that brings together some of the most innovative and radical hybrid performance practitioners from around the country to debate, demystify and showcase interdisciplinary art as part of a new wave of live art culture in Australia.

'this is the time' at the Artrage Bakery Complex is an evening ofshort performances from artists involved in the symposium. Experience live work from some of Australia's finest experimental performance makers. Don't miss it! See artrage.com.au for more details.

this is the record of the time is a two-day symposium hosted by PICA that will explore the key characteristics of hybrid performance including the shifting relationships between audience, site, intervention and collaboration. A screening lounge containing DVDs of live works from participating artists will be open to the public in the week prior to the symposium.

this is the time... this is the record of the time is an initiative of pvi collective as part of their ten year birthday celebrations and aims to bring together creative comrades whose work challenges, inspires and pushes the boundaries of contemporary performance practice.

Steve Kurtz Lecture *Critical Art Ensemble* PERTH

In this brief lecture, Steve Kurtz will discuss some of the
elements in the work of Critical Art Ensemble (CAE) that
seem to antagonize agencies of power and domination.
Over the years, CAE has been attacked, threatened, and/
or denounced by police, the FBI, politicians, corporate
lawyers, federal prosecutors, and even religious institutions.
Kurtz will offer some possibilities as to why CAE has been
in constant struggle to maintain a public voice, and how
the mechanisms of expression management have been increasingly militarized and intensified over the past 20 years. There will be a screening of the short film
CAE: Producing Immolation by Sensimilla Productions immediately following the lecture.

About Steve Kurtz
Steven Kurtz is a Professor of Visual Studies at SUNY, Buffalo
and a founding member of Critical Art Ensemble (CAE). CAE is a
collective of tactical media practitioners of various specializations,
including computer graphics and web design, wetware, film/video,
photography, text art, book art, and interventionist performance.
Formed in 1987, CAE’s focus has been on the exploration of
the intersections between art, critical theory, technology, and
political activism. The collective has performed and produced a
wide variety of projects for an international audience at diverse
venues ranging from the street, to the museum, to the Internet.
Critical Art Ensemble has also written six books on various
aspects of cultural resistance. Its writings have been translated
into 18 languages. (www.critical-art.net).Critical Art Ensemble artists Steve Kurtz and Lucia Sommer are currently artists in residence at SymbioticA, School of Anatomy
and Human Biology, The University of Western Australia.
(www.symbiotica.uwa.edu.au). SymbioticA, The Centre of Excellence in Biological Arts is a jointly funded initiative between The University of Western Australia and
the Western Australian Department of Culture and the Arts. SymbioticA and the Institute of Advanced Studies present Steve Kurtz - ‘Crossing the Line’
‘Evidence’ video stills, Critical Art Ensemble.

Lecture Details
Date: Thursday 30 October 2008
Time: 6pm
Venue: Social Sciences Lecture Theatre, UWA
(The nearest carpark is P3 off Hackett Drive Entrance 1)
This lecture is free and open to the public, no RSVP required
Institute of Advanced Studies
The University of Western Australia
M021, 35 Stirling Highway, Crawley WA 6009

Email iasuwa@admin.uwa.edu.au
Web www.ias.uwa.edu.au

No Sacrifice

Was talking to a new mate yesterday about their love life, as I settle in to my new role of Agony Uncle To The Queer (nice DV conversation last week, potential affairs advice this morning) and came to wondering about the sacrifices we sometimes make in order to be in a relationship. Not FOR another person as such, not the 'I'll stop smoking in the house so you don't have an asthma attack' kind of things, but the. pay offs that leave us ever so unsatisfied, and how we negotiate within ourselves what is able to be jettisoned and what we need to stay afloat. 'Can I live with no sex if I get lots of travel?' 'Can I deal with a drug habit if I get lots of kink?' 'Can I survive with no adventure if I get financial security?' I mean, can you transfer one positive value, one plus point for a minus somewhere else, can you balance it up? 'Well, I can never have another play piercing but she's a good cook?' 'He may not let me see my mates, but he takes me to the opera?' What is non-negotiable?

Sure, you can't do everything with your partner (in most cases). This is why I have, and maintain, a menagerie of art mates and theatre mates and dancing mates and pub mates and blood mates and all manner of people for all manner of activities-- so its not that you can't get different things from different folk. Its when having a partner stops you from getting what you need at all that concerns me.

The conversation brought back a lot of memories for me, of plays I missed seeing and clubs that disappeared before I could get there, of people I lost contact with and practices I didn't engage in and hankies I didn't flag and politics and philosophies I ignored for long periods of time. Things that MATTERED to me, that were important to my my creativity and identity and intellect and community, and that I gave up little by little to pamper the egos and insecurities and laziness, the paranoia and limitations of past partners. The sadness and stunting I engaged in to try to maintain some sort of status quo. 'You're not the same as when I met you, you're clingy and apologetic and small and flat, you're nothing like the advertising.' NO SHIT. It an awful situation to have to censor whole sections of you life, amputate or repress large portions of one's psyche!

Which is yet another reason I am so happy to have Monster. Someone to explore with, to have adventures with, to become bigger and freer with and through and alongside. Yay!

Gosh Indeed

Meet Matthew Jackson, Zoo's latest arts wanker mate. He's a Perth-anility it seems, but to me he's just a big old dirty queer Bear with significantly interesting takes on gender. Check out his website here.

Image is a painting of his, Gosh thought Sally. And he has even got his own doco! Click here for part one and then find your own way to part two.

Blue Pubes

If you have ever wanted to dye your pubes, chest hair, underarm hair etc and have never quite had the nerve to use conventional hair-dyeing products (full of ouchy peroxide, ammonia etc', then I have the site for you! Black, brown, blonde, aubrun, blue, pink, and a special halloween orange await you at BETTY BEAUTY!

Arts Wanker

Made a wee list of arty/extra-curricular adventures of 2008, so far. Here they are, not quite in order perhaps:

* Modelling at Drawathon in New York
* Hellfire Designer Vagina show (with Necrotitties)
* Teddy Bear fisting/f&^%ing show at Wobblie Pobblie
* Modelling for SLPA life drawing
* Twatflower pix for upcoming Slit
* Cherrie: Mayhem, Webby, Spunk interviews
* Two shows at Sly, 'Drunk' and 'Mutiny'
* Interviwed, with photo shoot, for Time Out magazine
* CURDLE ten day lactation installation piece
* Cupping photo shoot for SLPA art show, and Slit
* Cum Rag photo for Spunk
* Hook pull 'performance' at Playhouse play party
* ZooFi staplegun show at Zoo
* 52 Pickups photo shoot, 'Honey Bunny', and writing lots of blurbs for the cards
* Photo shoot for Kellann Denton's latest series (laundry slut/backyard butch)
* Flouro body paint show at Zoo, Pride Fair Day
* 'Blood Makes Noise' piece, by GenderFuckBel, at Zoo

Still have another couple of small performance pieces lined up for Zoo, and another for Perv film festival. And modelling for at least one painters, probably two, here in Perth, and making a cast of my tit for another. Oh, and in next couple of months should have two or three more pieces in Cherrie.

Now, if only most of this wasn't unpaid! I'd be bloody rich!

Spunky Monk-ies

This coming weekend be the time Monster and I get to the Pinnacles. And we plan to stop at New Norcia on the way there. Check it out here: roadhouse, ale and all!

Gender Jitters

Having some strange attack of Gender Jitters, think mostly to do with float and Bear talks and whatnot, being immersed in it again. Am all the better for the exposure, but still my heart is racing and I'm beginning to sweat and I'm all a-fluster...

Damn, some days my life seems like an extreme sport. Dangerous, requiring periods of intense concentration and willpower, but ultimately wonderfully exhilarating!

Drained, But Not In A BAD Way...

Yesterday brought me Pride float shopping and planning, making up a wonderful new performance/art piece and sorting out people and things to make it happen, a discussion with a mate who is in a crappy DV situation (and remembering past hostile domestic situations I have been in), hanging out with a Bear talking about gender-fluidity and monstrosity, finalising and sending my PhD annual review form, and attending a paper on the speaker's experience of and response to childhood rape. Thankfully Monster gave me a nice massage, and generally 'took care of me', when we got home...

Lordy, Look At That Lineup!!!

If I was in Sydney at this time, I would most certainly be attending THIS:

Dark Carnivàle
The Red Rattler Theatre Stage One Launch, and fundraiser for eco-efficient utilities
doors open 8pm, showtime 9pm sharp
Friday 31 October 2008, 6 Faversham St.Marrickville
$20 / $15 conc

Be titillated and seduced by the talents of MOJO JUJU & the Snake Oil
Merchants, The Kingpins, Lillian Starr & D-Vinyl, Sex Intents & Glitta
Supernova, Brown Council, Justin Shoulder, Janie Gibson, Celia Curtis,
GayLourdes, Wife, Crash and Danni, Kelli Jean and DJ Gemma

Trans, All Of That

Working on a trans* (etc) float for Pride Parade, and going to be on the back of the truck holding a sign. And it makes me REALLY nervous on some level. Like outing myself. Publicly. All over again, same yet different. As something other than boy or girl. You know, like a Monster.

True, I have been on bi floats and leather floats and outed myself as big old poly-kinky-queer freakling many times before. And it was fine. But this, well, this is just new I guess... and somehow less acceptable. Gender-change is one thing, but gender-dismissal feels like something else altogether. Like a loss, like an emptiness, like a hole with nothing to fill it. This is scary.

How many ways are there to fall?

Brave face, and fake it 'til you make it.

Festing Season

Virgin must love me- booked MORE tix yesterday, this time for our festing jaunt. I get to Sydney on the 17th December, Monster on the 23rd. And we both fly back on the 7th of January (I think)... So, plenty of time for kith and kin, markets, pub food, bbqs, beers, dancing, camping, Trop Fruits, opening pressies, coogee, icecream etc. Means I will be back here just in time to start organising my Birthday Show at Zoo!

Summer Loving

As the days get warmer, my thoughts turn to declaring the house into a clothing-free space. Would be much more pleasant, though might have to relax the rules when the rellies come over...

November Spawned A Zoo Tour

Zoo will be in Sydney from early Wednesday Nov 19th to late-ish Thursday Nov 27th. Find me somehow, and show me pretty things...

Some Days...

I just feel like such a white middle-class COP OUT. Like, when I read call for anthologies like this and can't think of single way I could contribute... (Deadline has passed, yes, but not the point).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS?:
flaming challenges to masculinity, objectification and the desire to conform

· CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS ·

As back rooms are shut down to make way for wedding vows, and gay
sexual culture becomes little more than straight-acting dudes hangin'
out, where are the possibilities for a defiant faggotry that
challenges the assimilationist norms of a world that wants us dead?

Masculine ideals have long reigned supreme in male sexual spaces, from
the locker room to the tea room, the bars to the back alleys to the
beaches. But is there something more brutal and dehumanizing about
the calculated hyperobjectification of the internet? How do we
confront the limits of transaction sexuality, where scorn becomes
"just a preference," lack of respect is assumed, and lying is a given?
How can we create something splendid and intimate from that universe
of shaking and moaning and nervous glances turned inward now groaning?

I'm especially interested in essays about community-building
experiments, public sexual cultures, faggots not socialized or
presenting as male, cruising, HIV, consumerism, transfaggotry,
polyamory, feminism, sexual safety and risk-taking, norms for faggots
outside of the US, and gender transgression (of course). I'm looking
for essays that expose hierarchies of gender, age, race, nationality,
class, body type, ability, sexuality and other identity categories
instead of imposing fascistic definitions based on beauty myth
consumer norms. That's right, honey -- I'm talking about interventions
that are dangerous and lovely, just like you.

The basics:

The official deadline has passed, but if you have something you think
is urgently needed in the book, please contact Mattilda.

Send submissions to:

Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore
537 Jones Street, #3152
San Francisco, CA 94102

Field Trip???

'Cos, like, there's nothing to do it Perth...

Oh, and speaking of stuff to do, check out the Artrage festival! Silent Disco! A giant inflatable igloo! So much art and theatre and dance! And a festival day in Northbridge! I am volunteering for some of it, so let me know when you'll be around!

Now, my latest adventure:

The Western Australian (WA) Medical Museum is a historical museum displaying items of memorabilia from the State's past in the health-care field, including:

* inside an operating room
* dentist's workshop
* a working iron lung
* hands on displays
* doctor sawbones and all the instruments used
* World War medical kits
* turn of the century hospitals
* discovery of X-Rays
* Aboriginal medicine display
* hands on electronic equipment - watch your heart beating
* and much, much more

OPENING HOURS
Wednesday 10am - 4pm
Sunday 2pm - 4pm

Harvey House
King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women
Barker Road
Subiaco Perth WA

ADMISSION COST
Adults $2.00
Children 50c

Meaty Beefy Big And Bouncy

From SMH:


Squeamish men look away now: a Serbian chef is bringing out a ballsy guide to cuisine with a twist: The Testicle Cookbook. Hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection by e-book publishers YUDU, the cookbook includes author Ljubomir Erovic's favourite dishes, like testicle pizza, battered testicles and and barbecued testicles and giblets. The e-book, available for download from the internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys, get the Erovic treatment. "Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie. "Once softened, mince them in a mincer." A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil. Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field. "The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites," he said. "All testicles can be eaten - except human, of course." Testicles are rich in testosterone and they are believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac in countries such as Serbia and China. "The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles", said Erovic. And with the credit crunch kicking in, more people may give up their rump steaks and turn to testicles instead. Erovic also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship, held annually in Serbia since 2004. It draws in chefs from Australia, Bosnia-Hercegovina, Finland, Greece, Hungary, Norway and Serbia. One metric tonne of testicles are prepared.

Oh, And Inbetween All Of That...

I'm getting lots done on my THESIS! Wow! Who'd have thought???

Perf-ect!

Have been a busy little monster and not updating this with much of note, so here is a bullet-pointed selection of GREAT things to happen to me lately:

* Went to Albany last week. The Gap, Misery Beach, Dog Rock, easting noodles and drinking beer and watching cable with the Monster in the hotel room, dinner at semi-swanky restaurant with Monster's workbuddies, catching the bus there and back and seeing some countryside and doing some reading and stopping at roadside diners for coffee and toasties, collecting seashells and walking the boardwalk and eating mini-pancakes from the mall. Bliss!

* Artrage festival is coming up soon, so I have volunteered my services as box office bitch, usher, artist wrangler etc. Should be fun, muchly. And all cultural and shit too.

* Pride Parade coming up at end of October. And my first Pride Afterparty with Monster! Perth ain't gonna know what's hit it!


* Royal Perth Show tomorrow. MUCH excited.

* Looks like I will have the cover article of next month's Cherrie.

* Fair Day on Sunday was MAGIC, and sunny, and we sat and ate cheese and drank beer on a blankie, and I was all dressed up and wandering with Monster so met sooooo many new people and then handed out flyers for Zoo, so met heaps more folk... Then home, shower, into leather skirt and harness and off to Zoo. Danced, drank champagne, shmoozed, and then got naked and had Jason paint me in fluro paint under a blacklight. And StrykerMeyer did an AMAZING show to Red Right Hand-- have never seen him perform before and I was STUNNED. Then danced more, perved at Monster in facial hair and pinstripes *shiver* and somehow ended up with a whole pile of naked furry boys in a spa, telling tall tales and true and flirting and getting foot massages until the birds started to sing. Woof!

One Cervantes Evening...

Amongst many, many other blessing that have come my way in WA, Monster and I just booked in for a weekend here, so we can see the Pinnacles.

'The Pinnacles Caravan Park in Cervantes, Western Australia, boasts ideal beachfront holiday accommodation for visitors to the Pinnacles rock formations (only a 15 minute drive away). The township of Cervantes is located on the Coral Coast, some 254 kilometres north of Perth and just two kilometres west of the entrance to Nambung National Park, home to the world-famous rocks of the Pinnacles.'

Oh, it has a cafe AND A SEA SHELL SHOP!

The Amazing Alicia King

Has sadly left SymbiotiA and returned to Tassie, but I can still perv at her work on her website and check out her blog.

And you should too. 'King’s practice explores biological permutations in humans, animals and the wider environment, and alludes to that which generally lies outside of the everyday category of the ‘living’. In 2004 she was awarded a Postgraduate Research Scholarship through which she is currently completing her PhD "Transformations of the flesh; Rupturing embodiment through biotechnology", an artistic exploration of relationships between biotech practices and the physical, ethical and ritual body.'

Suicide Is Painless

I do TRY to find the positive side of people, and for the most part I do, but WHAT THE F&*K??? From SMH today:

'Onlookers goaded a teenager as he threatened to jump off a building and then took photos of his body, British newspapers reported. Shaun Dykes, 17, plunged 18 metres to his death from the roof of a car park at the Westfield shopping centre in Derby, England on Saturday after police negotiators tried in vain for three hours to talk him down. A crowd had gathered underneath, with a few onlookers shouting abuse at him and urging him to jump. Reports said one teenager yelled: "How far can you bounce?"'

Apparently, people were turning up with their kids to yell such things and have a gander. Again, I do TRY to not ask questions such as 'What is the world coming to when suicide is a spectator sport???'. Bloody hell.