Well Ring My Nipple!

Although the process of acquiring a nipple ring is reported to involve relatively little time, pain, or money, still one asks why anyone would want to subject her/himself to such a procedure. What is the meaning of the nipple ring?
Like everything else connected to the breast, the symbolic meaning of the nipple ring draws from both concious and unconcious motivations. Women with nipple rings speak of "marking a transition" in their lives or "creating a new sexual identity" or making their breasts "more exciting" or simply wanting to distinguish themselves from more conventional folk. Perhaps they also want to signal to prospective partners that they are not breeders or nurses, at least temporarily. Many observers, however, see the nipple ring (like the Victorian corset) less at the sign of a stage of life or an erotic adornment than as a form of bodily mutilation.
Body piercing-- of ears, nostrils, navels and nipples-- constitutes just one more attempt to improve upon nature. The long, worldwide history of pierced body parts has intriguing cultural variations... The products that find their way to female chests-- falsies and wired bras, creams and lotions, breast implants and nipple rings (why not rouge or tattoos?) keep the wheels of business rolling and feed the fantasies of countless women and men, for whom the breast merits all the enhancement and attention it can get.

- Marilyn Yalom
'A History of the Breast' (1998: 203-204)

Considering this in the light of my formerly pierced nipples and lactation endeavours is a little odd. What is even odder is that this book was only written ten years ago!

Itchy Art

According to the ABC website (thanks to Westie for the link):

Seven young artists from Berlin are trying to stretch the boundaries of art by living in an Israeli museum for three weeks with lice in their hair.

"Art is no longer just a painting on the wall," Milana Gitzin-Adiram, chief curator of the Museum of Bat Yam near Tel Aviv, told Reuters.

"Art is life, life is art."

The exhibition has caused controversy - unintended, the artists say - in a country where the mention of lice may revive memories of Nazi propaganda that described Jews as "parasites".

The artists, who sleep, eat and bathe in the gallery, said the exhibition toyed with ideas about hosts and guests in line with a theme set by the museum and aimed to blur the boundaries between art and reality.

I'll Have The House Red

In fact, the idea of pairing wine and women isn't a bad one, as the acidity of the vagina in health is just about that of a glass of red wine. This is the vagina that sings; this is the vagina with bouquet, with legs.

- Natalie Angier
'Woman: An Intimate Geogrpahy' (48)

Home, Office

The Westie helped me move my desk into my room, and this morning I set it all up and so now as I type I sit in a proper sort of office chair and look out across the park and it all feels much more conducive to production of thesis-type items than sitting in bed watching daytime telly with my 'puter on my lap and my papers on a pillow next to me... Just need a secretary to fetch me coffee and snacks now! Oh, and one of those book stand things to hold the tomes upright as I copy parts from them. And a wastepaper basket. More fun at Officeworks to come!

Wrong Side Of The Roads

And lay down here beside me
Let me hold you in the dirt
And you'll tremble as the flames
Tear the throat out of the night
Sink your teeth into my shoulder
Dig your nails into my back
Tell that little girl to let go of my sleeve
You'll be a woman when I catch you
As you fall in love with me...

- Tom Waits
'Wrong Side Of The Road'

These lyrics always made me want to be that girl when I was younger. Now I want to DO that to that girl. And seems I can sometimes. I love my life, a lot.

Reasons To Be Cheerful, Or, My Amazing Extended Weekend Adventures Plus Some Waffling

On Thursday night I waited nervously until the Westie arrived, and then had a very nice night indeed. Friday we stuffed ourselves with pancakes and yoghurt and strawberries and coffee and headed up to Spurs for Jesus at the Annandale with Madame, which was utterly magnificent as usual. Of particular merit was the mash-up of the Prisoner theme song with AccaDacca's Jailbreak, and when the lagerphoned and befiddled support started Khe Sahn at one end of the bar and the Spurs finished it at the other. Wooohooooooo! (And I must mention here that the sight of a wobbly-gutted and barefoot man bashing a lagerphone with a child's wooden cricket bat made me wriggle- proving once and for all that I really can get excited over just about anything). Then some food, and a walk to Sly for Women In Uniform, hanging with various crews and jumping about to some sort of bogan band in semi-fetish outfits banging out more ACDC and Skyhooks while the Dykes On Bikes moshed at the front. Saturday bought a lie-in, lazy breakfast and then Jets (who creamed the Bulldogs). Home to change and potter about, then TCM's bon voyage drinks at the Townie, followed by Phoenix for Dog Pound. Music was brilliant, my leather dress was wonderfully short and slutty, and the Westie danced with me until the wee small hours. I have not danced with someone like that for a very long time. Near, sure, but not with. Not bumping grinding snogging groping dancing, not like this... Oh, I did enjoy it very much! Yummy! Sunday was recovering, tofu burgers and coffee at the markets, watching the Westie get her first pointy things from a Dr, and a picnic in the park spent eating too much and creating a sleazy ditty from phrases ripped straight out of possibly the worst novel I have come across in a while. Its called Nighthawk, by an Artemis OakGrove, and is a piece of 'lesbian sexual fiction' from 1987, and features a lesbian warlord, Native American rip-off nonsense, characters called Big Mary, Jesus, Cloud Three Eagles and such, and lines about 'jabbing her insides over and over' and someone's 'finger-like protuberance' (not a finger, trust me). Then coffee with a bear, and home to ad-breaks, the final of that dancing show and guacomole and vodka in bed. Monday was another lazy morning of rolling about, and then a trip to the MCA with Westie and Ali to see Fiona Hall exhibition. YOU MUST SEE THIS EXHIBITION NOW! Its quite amazing, and I am still reeling from it...some lunch by the harbour, a snog or two and some pix next to the Opera House, a wander 'round the Botanical Gardens, then back to the ghetto and onto my German lesson. Beer at the Coopers, home with cheese and crackers and more giggling and cuddles. Then our last day for now spent mostly in bed, trying to keep it together and make the most of every moment... airport, tears, coffee and passionfruit cheesecake, farewell snogs and hugs and... most looking forward to us meeting again.

Inbetween all of this were lots of sunsets, tofu, eggs, vodka, beer, full body contact, lewd behaviour, giggles, moments of marvelling at the Westie (or sometimes just perving on her), hand-holding, moments of realisation, grinning like idiots, dazed expressions, mild hangovers, endorphin overdoses and sheer bliss. Thankyou Westie.

Bye Bye Boy

This Charming Man, the original 'Boy' of this blog I believe, headed down to live in Melbourne yesterday. We all had one last Jets match together, and a beer-drinking farewell at the Townie, and as I walked home tonight I realised just how weird it was to not have him living one street away from me anymore. Not that we hung out that much, it was just sort of nice knowing he was there, with his dogs, and now it feels strangely empty in the neighbourhood. Dang!

Accelerated Learning

Started German lessons last night- and it was LOTS of fun and I felt smart again. Have my car licence Learners book. Its time to invest in new skill-sets, and fine-tune others. I need to be capable, independent, and stop thinking that there are whole realms of things I just can't do, as in 'I'm not really artistic' or 'I can't imagine being behind the wheel of a car' or 'I'm not handy enough to use a screwdriver/electric drill/sewing machine/coffee maker' or and just DO them somehow, the best I can. Unless it geography, in which case I do give up. But pretty much anything else, well, I need to examine my own potential a bit more.

Take It From The Bottom

As previously noted, Zoo has of late become much more a toppy creature than ever before. Heck, I used to 'top from the bottom' (still do) but as one ex-lover put it I had more of a tendency towards being a 'do-me queen'. Recently I REALLY want to be doing the doing though. Heck, I even gave a FLOGGING in the last twenty-four hours. A somewhat messy and silly flogging, true, but with a suitably yummy reaction all the same. I want to do this more. Ever since I moved my red hanky to the left I have been wanting to put my things in other people's things a lot more, and now I find myself longing to poke holes in them too, and wanting to tie them down and make their pink bits pinker and leave their nerve-endings askew. Fortunately I already have some willing crash test dummies on which to hone my fledgling skills, but if you have a particular talent or penchant and don't mind a newbie top having a go at your hide (or that of your slave, sub, toy etc) then please do mention it to me!

And They Call It Puggle Love

According to today's MX, a baby echidna is called a 'puggle'. I owned a toy called a puggle when I was a wee young thing, a soft squishy velvety lump with eyes that came in its own pouch and I do not recall this fact at all. It looked somewhat like this, but I think red puggle and blue pouch? Wonder where it is now- one to ask my mam.

You Just Like Me 'Cos I'm Good In Bed

At least we weren't listening to Skyhooks:

You just like me 'cos I'm good in bed
Yeah that's what your girlfriend said
You just like me 'cos I give you some head
You just like me 'cos I'm good in bed

Interlude

Yes, we were listening to Morrissey together in bed, and yes, you may giggle about it and the fact that this song (Interlude, with Siouxsie) came on as we lay there, and yes its awfully soppy but somehow apt...

Time is like a dream
And now, for a time, you are mine
Lets hold fast to the dream
That tastes and sparkles like wine

Who knows (who knows)
If its real
Or just something we're both dreaming of
What seems like an interlude now
Could be the beginning of love

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

WARNING: SAD TRAGIC MUSHY PUPPY ZOO RANT AHEAD (BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH)

This was not supposed to happen. Five days after the Westie's arrival I am sitting in the library at Uni, trying not to cry after leaving her at the airport. I don't want to go home to my room without her in it, I don't want to see the half-empty bottle of vodka and the stained sheets and to smell her on my pillow... I want her there, now, and for a considerable while to come. I want to cling and giggle and watch kids shows on the telly and wash her down in the shower, I want to taste her when I wake up and be held by her when I sleep. I want her hands around my waist as I do the washing up, I want to bring her coffee in bed, I want her to help me move my furniture and I want to watch sunsets with her. Gee whiz... I sort of saw this coming but it still suprised me somewhat with its intensity! And the fact that it does seem to be reciprocated somewhat suprises me more than anything. Wow.

Of course, on a very sensible level it is all good that she has gone home now. I have writing to write and shows to show and all sort of upcoming adventures and deadlines and parties and art to get through and I do get to see her for ten days or so in July and then in September we have a dirty tryst planned in Melbourne and then most likely see each other in November/December and if we did live in the same city it would all get very whatever-it-would-get very quickly and absence makes the parts grow fonder and there are phonecalls and texts and emails and smutty telepathy to keep in touch with and she has much she needs to do too and... heck, I can rationalise it to buggery and back but I'm still a very messy puddle of red eyes and mussy hair and quivering lip at this moment. Heavens, what HAS gotten into me? Pull yourself together Zoo!

Now for a more Pollyanna note. New countdown has formally begun- 8 weeks 'til I am in Perth and in her bed.

LESS THAN TWELVE HOURS TO GO

And I am already and damp and soggy Zoo. Not from the rain either.

Curdle- Milk Man Y

Now, you can read a review of the show at my galactablogue, but here are the pix as a teaser...

One More Sleep!

And then...then...then I shall be spending a restless day wriggling in my seat and trying to stop my nipples from poking holes in my shirt...until the Westie arrives at my door sometime around midnight!

Luck Be A Lady

Who said TV was the work of the devil? True, I could do without morning talk shows and daytime soaps, but today I have enjoyed several great and informative shows- including Catalyst. Today it had a big chunk about luck, and a school for becoming lucky. Seems that lucky people are more easygoing, so tend to take things at a chilled pace and be curious as to what is around them. Like opportunities. And they have open gestures that invite opportunity in the first place, by generally being sweet and fun and nice to be around. They expect good fortune, so are more ready to recognise it, and follow their gut feelings more often than 'unlucky' folk. So, you feeling lucky, punk?

Wintery Wonderland

Its getting to be that snuggly time of year. Heaters coming out of the cupboards, hot water bottles tucked between blankets, warm bedsocks and flannelette sheets, self-saucing puddings and cocoa, woolly scarves, furry jackets and leather gloves and thick stockings. Its all about comfort, keeping cosy, sharing body heat with loved or lusted ones, huddling away from the cold and the wet and increased dark. Already I want to tramp through damp forests between the fungi and the moss, travel on train trips down south with a hot chocolate and book, watching the rain from the library window whilst gathering books, make barley soups and frock up in layers of velvet, big boots and thick socks...

Curdled, Sweetly

It is always nice to get insights from others who witness my work and my play, and the musings of self-professed ‘vanilla and straight’ photographer who did the pictures of the cupping and Curdle closing night, Kellyann, were no exception. Two things in particular that she noticed: the noises I made when I was being cut were like those she associates with the moment of penetration and of surrender, and that Sam announced everything she was doing before she did it and how gentle that seemed. It was nice to have someone else recognise this, that what might appear to be violent acts to some can actually be the sweetest moments of giving up to pleasure…

Curdle Pix- Random Happy Snaps

MimInBoots footage and Day Three Milk, my Rocking Chair window setting, Divine Bovine with Mask.

A Tale Of Two Ghettos

Have been spending a larger than usual amount of time around Oxford St way since I came back to Sydney (Newtown and Impy closed, slight changes in mates and activities), and this has reminded me of the sometimes subtle but somehow super differences between the two ghettos, and why I sometimes feel a little out of place when I leave mine.

Darlingithurts, East Sydney, Kings Cross, the dodgy end of Paddington, Surry Hills, Redfern- its a different world from Enmore, Erskineville, Chippendale, Marrickville, Newtown, Darlington, Camperdown. The former is more pricey to live in, obviously, and thus has not so many student-types. People seem to survive on a combination of dealing illegal substances, being pro-dommes, DJing, designing, working in fashion, hairdressing, selling make-up or imported shoes or funky furniture to yuppies with a twist. Most purchases are new, clothes and homewares, or stylishly vintage (not second-hand or from the street fairies). Eating disorders and drug habits, past or present, are prevelant and everyone knows how to vomit in good taste. Disposable income spent on chemical indulgences or neccessities, foreign beer and overpriced apartments, designer jeans and expensive takeaway. Everyone has a creative side, an artistic flair, they're just waiting for their serotonin and their domapine to level out so they can get down to doing something with them. Not so many sharehouses, lots of studios. Nobody has worm-farms or compost bins in their paved courtyards, or personal photos on their walls. Its all minimal, carefully arranged. Can never tell if it is all lacking any soul, or this is actually a reflection of the souls that live there? Somehow it feels quite undead.

For the second ghetto, the one in which I live, some of this applies. Folk still take lots of pills, but more weekend jaunts than everyday habit. Schooners are cheaper, it feels like half the population studies, people actually spend their spare time making 'zines and documentaries and growing vegies, organising art shows and engaging more in DIY than capitalist pursuits. I feel more connected here, like there is more of a community structure that I can rely on and engage with, like its an active and alive space.

(It all crosses over and merges of course, and I much like my ventures to the other side of Cleveland St. And these reflections are grand generalisations, not relating to all or everyone I know in either place, and simply an attempt to make sense of some experiences both recent and far past.)

Dog's Balls-Up

I like dogs, really I do. I like to throw sticks and balls for them to fetch, to scratch their bellies, to take them for walks, to wrestle on the floor with them. Sometimes they do not seem to want to be loved though. In the last 48 hours ChinBin has walked into my room, shat on the floor and then walked straight out. Shat on the living room floor, right near the stairs, so that I trod in it when I was on my way to make breakfast this morning. Then just now, I am sitting on my bed working, he comes up the stairs and climbs over me, pisses on the two pillows next to me, and then runs out of the room. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? It feels like a vendetta, he lives downstairs with Trollop, but comes all the way up here just to defecate and urinate on my possessions. Grrr.

Feminist Conference, Brisbane *CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS*

The Brisbane International Feminist Conference 2008 is on this September, early bird rego by 31st May.

The Brisbane International Feminist Conference 2008 aims to further feminist dialogues about the status of women and the continued violence against women and children as human rights violations. Conference organisers believe that the status of women in Australia and indeed globally, has been on the decline in the last decade. The 2008 International Feminist Conference’s overall goal is to provide a forum to bring feminist thinkers, researchers, academics, service providers and community women together, to share information about pressing violations against women and children.

Wobblie Pobblie

WOBBLIE POBBLIE a wibbly pibbly May Day pARty

Friday 2nd MAY at Hermans Sydney University

9pm - 3am $15 $10

with * Mighty Hermaphrodite and Stranger Danger

*Press Eject DVD launch ATM LADY * Scum System Kill *ZOO

* Raven *Cake Lady * ChriS *DJS Ravertron, Mukole, Kes

*MC's Ghetto Pussy

Zoo On Retreat- June 2008

With all this travelling about and locking myself in a gallery and all one would not expect me to be quite so excited about the following, but I am:

Seems that the kindly folk whom I dog-sitted and house-minded for in the Highlands last year require my services again. That would be the lovely home with the gas heating and cute puppies and goldfish at the base of a mountain full of bushwalks and about 20 minutes walk from a small town full of devonshire teas and parks. Lush! Cable and internet and snuggly nights in my flanny jimjams with a cuppa and a good book, days spent writing and relaxing and taking the dogs out to play and feeding the birds. Good op-shops in Moss Vale too, and plenty of opportunity for dress-ups...

Will be there approximately 19th to 29th June. Can have visitors, so if you want to come and hang out for a few days, watch movies and go for walks and drink champagne amongst the bubbles please let me know! Bliss!

Stitched Up

Can anyone tell me exactly what to order from Livingstones in order to play with some suturing? Nothing too chunky or difficult, just something nice and easy to begin with! On my L-plates with this one!

Shameless Self-Promotion

Seems that there is a lovely picture of my good self, or possibly more my naughty self, on the current Hellfire blog. Its a beautiful picture by KellyAnn Denton, who photographed my cupping at Curdle on Saturday night.

New York, Masochistic Video Artists Wanted

OPEN CALL: Seeking..... provocative short video submissions from creative exhibitionists who video themselves

Submission Deadline: June 2, 2008 <http://www.apexart.org/images/email/story.jpg>

Creative Exhibitionists Who Video Themselves

Are you an artist, performer, athlete or other that pushes the limits in your work physically, mentally and/or emotionally and do you want people to watch? Do you have video footage of you or someone else who does and does it reflect an element of masochism?

apexart invites short performance video submissions as described above for an interesting evening of discussion related to an exhibition involving reconstructive surgery and the objectification of the human body.

Submissions must be received on or before Monday, June 2 at 6 pm. No exceptions. Individuals whose work has been selected will be notified. To participate: Send or drop off the following:

-Name, contact info and any interesting info about you. -One paragraph explaining the work submitted. -DVD of one or two works with total combined length no longer than 15 minutes.

Drop off or send works to: apexart

Exhibitionist Video Submission
291 Church Street
New York, NY 10013
Tuesday - Saturday 11am - 6pm

http://www.apexart.org/exhibitionist.htm

Curdle- Darkling's Journal

Darling Darkling has posted a lovely account of her Curdle-piercing adventures. Yay!

Curdle- Beatie's Blog

Someone has written a blog post about CURDLE, a certain Beatie of recent acquaintance, and you can find it right here. I've added my two cents worth in the comments too, 'cos I'm like that! Overall a fabulous review methinks.

It’s The Middle Of The Night

And I am all hyper, and counting down… and planning outfits and blogging nonsense! Yay! Bring on Thursday evening!

I Love EveryBodies

Struck me again today just how much I love to play with other people’s bits, and vice versa (context dependent of course), and how lucky I am to experience such a range of encounters with such a variety of bodies. I like the way bits react differently from person to person, to go seeking and finding new squishinesses and tender points, new wobbles, new tensions, new noises, new rhythms, new boundaries and thresholds, new tickles and teases, new puddles and scars, new time delays, new temperatures, new scents and new stains.

Some hills and dales I know in passing, just enough to locate a bruise or a whimper, and other territory I explore over and over again, discovering new nooks and crannies as I familiarise myself with what turn takes me where, the shortcuts and the scenic routes. And the fun parks, of course.

Did I Mention That In FOUR DAYS...

The Westie will be in my bed? Woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Have been having to get back in practice again, just to build my strength and stamina (and flexibility) up for her arrival. Post-Curdle-coital with a cute academic was a nice start.

Totally Curdled

Will update blogs properly soon, but daresay all in all it was a rather successful event! Thankyou to all who attended, assisted, plied me with food and alcohol, kept me company, made art with me, rang me up to check in, performed... it was a truly collaborative effort. Bless you all!

ArtZine

My darling friend Anne Bentley has a new website for her pix at ArtZine Photography. I lker her style, and her life history:

I have worked in many jobs in my adult life, beginning by on the job learning how to polish antique furniture & reproductions. I've been a builders labourer, gardener & rubbish remover (more fun than it sounds), a shop girl and office worker. I dabbled in music journalism & briefly managed a band. I wrote some truly corny fiction but managed to have them published - obscurely.
Now I am beginning to work more and more for myself in an area I have chosen independently rather than circumstantially or out of necessity.

The Humble Spud

From Madame P:

"The Humble Spud!www.thehumblespud.blogspot.com (Coming Soon)Art in the ParkMaundrell Park(cnr Hopetoun St and Stanmore Rd, Petersham)Sunday 4th May 2008.11.00am - 4.00pm"

Mountain Folk

Are invited to apply for this:

> CALLING ALL BENT ARTISTS!>> Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender artists living in the Blue > Mountains are invited to submit works for the 4th annual Bent Art > Exhibition to be held over the June 2008 long weekend.>> Come and join the most successful art exhibition in Katoomba’s > history. Last year 51 artists exhibited their paintings, drawings, > photography, ceramics and sculpture and we trust this year will be > even bigger.>> The exhibition has grown to become an event on the queer art > calendar, attracting interest from different parts of the state. > Opening night is the place to be in the Blue Mountains, a vibrant > coming together of a diverse community with entertainment and > catering. We look forward to having you part of this year’s > exhibition.>> There will be prizes in a number of categories including:>> $1000 Bent Art Prize> $500 Curator’s prize> $500 People’s Choice Prize>> The Bent Art Exhibition will be held at the Katoomba Civic Centre on > the Queen’s Birthday long weekend Friday 6th – Monday 9th June 2008 > to coincide with a weekend of activities for the gay and lesbian > community.>> For more information on the conditions of entry email
bentart@pinkmountains.com.au > . or phone 0404 474 907

In Less Than A Week…

Well, I’ll be grinning like a maniac I imagine, courtesy of a certain sweet import from the far, far West. Variously hard, damp and shaky in parts at the very thought.

WOBBLIE POBBLIE

Friday May 2nd at Hermann’s. Cake Lady, SCUM System Kill, Mighty Hermaphrodite, DJs and lots more. Oh, and a show from Zoo. Fundraiser for Slit’s Weird Science issue and some upcoming pervy man involving boys, trannyboys, drag kings, bois and other entities that engage in masculinities. More details soon, and heaven knows there is probably a myspace or something out there with the full list of who and what on it so will try to find it and do a proper post! All that matters now is that you lock the date in your diary.

Spur My Jesus

No, not a ‘World Youth Day’ initiative (seriously, with THAT history of dodgy kiddy fiddling in the Catholic Church- I mean, HOW MANY bishops etc was that in the States?- how they have the audacity to advertise an explicitly youth-oriented event is beyond me. Say what? Yeah, I’d let my kid be signing up for that, sure… good heavens!). Anyway, this post is not about that, its about the AMAZING Spurs For Jesus gig at The Annandale this coming Anzac Day. Two-up, beer, Spurs, beer, Spurs, dancing, stumbling, snogging the Westie, beer, Spurs… its gonna be grand. Think it’ll start around midday, and go until we all pour ourselves into cabs and beds. Or to Women In Uniform at the Sly Fox.

Next day (Saturday) is the Jets game at Henson, so will need our beauty sleep to cope with the almost-obligatory KBs.

Do Look, Please

New collective, new show. Opening night Thursday May 1st at 419 New Canterbury Rd, Dulwich Hill. I should have some stuff in it, maybe do a quick show, and there will be lost of art and wine and all the things that make a launch good. Put it in your diaries, come on down, have a glass of chardy, support local talent, meet some local artists and maybe even but something new for your walls.

TRANNI PANIC

The adorable Y is holding another Tranni Panic at The Oxford, Friday May 23rd. A sample of welcome identities from the business cards includes ‘Boi. Fairie. Queer. Shim. Sista Girl. Herm. No-Ho. Transgender. Cross Dresser. Intersex. Transvestite. Invert. Hermaphrodite. Drag King’ I think its pretty safe to assume that so long as you are not averse to playing with gender then you are most welcome to come on down and play. See www.myspace.com/trannipanic for theme, opening hours and all that jazz.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

Now, those last few posts written late at night after an unsettling revelation might seem negative, but its just what I needed to say to myself and to the universe. A new manifesto, a new set of rules and recognitions, a new way of interacting. And I feel good about it all, and in the cold light of day that unsettling revelation doesn’t make me sad or mad. It was what had to happen, and I am glad. Hurrah for every new morning!

Reminder To Self, Via A Favourite Frenchie

The future must no longer be determined by the past. I do not deny that the effects of the past are still with us. But I refuse to strengthen them by repeating them, to confer upon them an irremovability the equivalent of destiny, to confuse the biological and the cultural. Anticipation is imperative.

- Helene Cixous
‘Laugh of the Medusa’ (279)

Rules Of Engagement

This is what I expect:

I expect that anyone I am playing with will treat me with respect. This means they will return my calls and texts. They will acknowledge me when they see me out in public unless we have agreed otherwise. This means them not being a c*&t- tease towards me, not leading me on when they have no intention of playing with me that day/night/week/scene. Not suddenly disappearing mid-conversation. Not lying about what chemicals they have taken, so that I can not work out how to handle them. Not telling me to wait for them and returning two hours later. Not keeping me dangling when I could be playing with someone else. I expect that they will value my time and energy, and not take it for granted that I will hang around whilst they make up their minds what to do with me. I can do ‘later’, I can do ‘never again.’ I just need to know what is going on.

I don’t what to play ‘girlfriends’ with anyone at the moment. Or ‘monogamous partners’. Or ‘jealous one night stand who turns into a stalker.’ I have shagged about with just shy of a score of people this year, all muddled up between each other, and have no problem with the fact that my playmates will do the same. I actually prefer it if they do, as it makes me somewhat more easy about the variety and volume of my own encounters. Just don’t be rude about it.

And this is where I seem to fall into problems with people. You want to play with someone else, good- but don’t do it in such a way that you are deliberately rubbing it in my face, don’t sneak into my line of vision with the latest half-naked giggly thing on a chain just to see whether I will jump. You want to just go out and take a bucket-load of shiny stuff and dance without having to speak to me, tell me that you need a night off. You don’t want to play with me anymore, then let me know and let’s just leave it at that. But it seems to get turned back on me if I state that I don’t want to be ignored on a whim, I don’t want to have to be asked by my friends ‘what’s up with her? why has she just walked out without saying goodbye to you?’ and I don’t want to have to wonder why myself- this is somehow too much to ask? As I see it, this doesn’t make me crazy, or overly possessive, or clingy, or unreasonable. If I send you a quote or a link or a picture that I know you will like, or wear something you have told me turns you on, its not a proposal of marriage or a profession of undying love. I like to make people happy, I like to share the nice things I find, I like to give someone I care about (no matter how briefly or how intensely) something to make their day brighter, to provide a pleasant surprise at the end of a long day or a moment of joy for no reason other than it is a nice thing to do. You don’t have to say thankyou, but it doesn’t mean you owe me if you acknowledge a nice deed.

So, back to basics yet again. Mind your manners.

The Boy's Got Bits

A boy of my acquantiance in the deepest darkest UK has just had some surgery down there, and I reckon its best to explain it is his words:

'went well by all accounts. no pix tho. they keep listening to it with an ultrasound and it makes me laugh hearing the pulse. nerve graft should be ok whatever cos grafted one side of clitoral nerve and lfet other half so don't have to learn how to orgasm all over again. clever.

feel like shit. glad only have to do it once...am lots better 2day tho. thought was dyin yesterday. 2day can move and talk an stuff. hysto hurts the most oddly. now have stopped freaking out in case it comes off again, really happy. really really happy. looks pretty good already. gore fest!'

So happy I am crying! Woohoo! Yet again, so proud of all my gender-blender and benders, trancenders and offenders! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Regrets, I’ve Had A Few…

The play was fantastic. The exchanges were sweet. Our hankies were always on opposite sides. We looked good together. We smiled a lot, some of the time. We both like white bandannas, and boys. I wanted to make her bleed, and teach her to do the same to me. Some sort of babes in the wood vibe hit me hard with this one, which may have been inappropriate or entirely misread, and I wanted to engage in dress-ups and plan adventures, act out our favourite scenes from Bataille or The Leatherman’s Handbook, exchange skills and ideas, roll around in our own filth and explore the possibilities. It could have been a nice sometimes thing, an every now and then sleepover or booty call, a ‘see you at the party, bring gloves and wear your pinafore’ type of affair. Perhaps it still could be. Maybe next time it will last for longer than this, not end so strangely, not leave me with a strange aftertaste and these Pavlovian responses to diesel and be called ‘girl’.

Sip the honey, spit the sting. Thank the heavens that I had those moments of magic and meat. Thank my lucky stars to have been reawakened to possibilities, reassured of my own playing and pulling potential. Then again, I have always been very good at beginnings.

Its Silly, Really

Every time I hear a bike pull up outside I still jump. I know its not that bike, the motor is different, its bigger, its smaller, its more powerful, its being ridden too fast or too slow or too roughly. But I still jump each, and a small part of me hopes that it is that bike, with that rider, and its all good again. Silly, really. Maybe I just like bikes.

Dog’s Ball

Dogs and their balls go together like poles & piss. You’ve licked, chased, eaten and buried your balls – now Bad Dog is giving you a chance to clamour your way into the Ball.
Lady Bella da Ball Gaspar, Lord Steve Squeaky-Ball Sonius, Media Magnate Bill Busta-Balls Cotsis and Master Ben Old-Money Drayton cordially request your company during the hours of …..
3pm – 11pm on Sunday the 11th day of May, 2008 at Jets Sports Club, Holbeach Ave, Tempe. Talk about Society Pages! Dust off your dinner jackets, fluff your tails, tweak your tulle and perk up your parasols. Curtsey & bow to your partners, take their paws and promenade to the dancefloor. Lords & Ladies, we’ll have pomp & ceremony coming out our assholes. Dandies & doodles, don’t be upstaged by the white poodle. Join us for an evening of dancing & romancing under the chandelier disco ball. Quadrels, ruffles & panteloons, debutantes with tennis balls. Pocket your Pops Ballroom Powder – you now hold the most coveted invite of the decade.
It will be sure social death if you miss it.

Leaving no stone unturned we have enlisted the help of top PR company “Miss Frost’s House of Now” to ensure the height of fashion and A-list shoulder rubbing at this exclusive event. Lady Sonia Mutt-Mahon & Lady Susan Ruff-ouf will be in attendance as Trash-bag’s lovely assistants to cloak your bags & balls. In the illustrious words of a one-time Cointreau Ball Best Dressed winner (who came as an Academy Award), “it’s not winning the prize of a first class ticket for 2 to Penrith that matters – it’s knowing that you’ve outdone everyone else to win it.”

Anyone with a title and a modicum of eccentricity is considered suitable company – mongrels, choose your dates carefully. To be at the ball and get your picture in the Australian Womens’ Weekly means that you have finally arrived. The exquisite sound of Kranky Kev-IN Davidson will whisk you onto the dancefloor and Queen of everything Jade-star with Vandal the elusive K-night will create visual decadence like no other. To RSVP, go to Spank Records or Barberia in Darlo, or So Music Newtown. Accepting your invite will cost you $40 plus booking fee prior to the event or claw your way to the door on the day for $50. Directions for your drivers are available by visiting www.baddog.net.au

Collectively Arty

There is a new artist’s collective starting in Dulwich Hill, based in an established gallery. Fun, friendly motivated bunch of artsy fartsy folk. If you want to find out more about how its all going to work, please call Matt on 0404 654 757. Yay!

Beards

The pubic hair serves other purposes as well. It traps and concentrates pelvic odors, which can be quite attractive to a mate if they are the odors of health, as I will discuss below. Moreover, the pubic hair is a useful visual clue for us primates, who are, after all, a visually oriented species. The hair showcases the genital area and allows it to stand out from the less significant landscape around it. If women wear lipstick as a subconscious way of evoking their pudenda in public, perhaps they are only following in men’s footsteps. By growing a beard, a man turns his face into an echo of his crotch; and the capacity to grow a beard very likely predates the use of cosmetics by a few thousand years.

- Natalie Angier
‘Woman: An Intimate Geography’ (1999: 49)

CURDLED -INVITATION

By the blistered nipples of the Virgin you are instructed to get thyselves
prepared to be CURDLED at the closing night performance and party for Zoo’s latest and greatest lactation installation!

Make your merry Milky Way to Don’t Look Gallery on Saturday the 19th of April 2008. Marvel at the magnificent manifestations of ten days of mammary manipulation! Poetry, prose and philosophy performed by the magical majesty of moistness, Necrotitties! Fluxing fluid filmic fun from a dazzling duo of dampened damsels! A slippery slideshow sideshow of pretty photographs from a glitzy galaxy of sharp yet slimy shooters! Be entranced and entertained by the Wondrous Wet! The Spectacle of the Soggy! The Mysteries of the Milk! The Licking of the Liquid!

419 New Canterbury Rd, Dulwich Hill.
Doors open 6pm, fun and games from 6:30 until they’re finished, or we are.

Her Naked Narcissism

Strange story at SMH, by Elizabeth Farrelly. Haven't read through it yet, but from the looks of it- and what my mate E described it as- somebody should... and reply!

Nussinov Gallery

Mate told me about this new gallery space, Nussinov, which could be worth a looksy if you need somewhere to perform, rehearse, exhibit etc. Don't know much about it at all, but here is the link and the blurb:

An Exhibition place for performances in the audio and visual arts. A fusion between people, performers in their specialized art disciplines. Incorporating toward the creation of exhibitions of artworks, art performances, and multi media presentation. It is a centre for innovation in the organic process of any art form. It encourages the participation of dedicated people who have something to'express', who can communicate by creating art objects, or by doing inovative acts.

Time Out To Curdle- Zootopia

Time Out Sydney, April 9th, page 54. Zootopia indeed! What a funny old life!

Days Of Wine And Roses

Random observation:

When I drink beer, I have a tendency for melodrama and maudlin musings (not always of course, some nights I am delightful after several Asahis). Lately I have been drinking vodka much more, and not only do I seem to have less hangovers but I seem to be more happy and stable when I am drunk on it. Now, what would be a wise thing for Zoo to do? That’s right. Change piss. Luckily Scragg bought Dazza a big bottle of Absolut so all I need is some tonic and a few lime wedges so will be easily able to experiment with this theory… Now, who knows how to make a vodkatini?

CURDLE UPDATES

Posted some ramblings re CURDLE at www.galactablogue.blogspot.com- check 'em out. Bugger-all internet access at the moment, so if you need me call or text my mobile or come on down to 419 New Canterbury Road and visit me!

If I Wasn't Locked Up CURDLING

I'd be at Phoenix this Saturday (12th) for DIRTY. Oh, and Hellfire on Friday the 18th too! Dang! Still, can't complain... my milk is really starting to come in, gallery is looking good (and cosy) and I do get the impression that lots of naughtiness (arty and otherwise) will find me there somehow!

16 Days To Go

And this just about sums up how I feel about it...though which is which I can't quite imagine- and what's with the yellow hanky?

Red Water

the homewrecker just sent me this, and i daresay i find it delightful!

CURDLE COUNT-DOWN

Only TWO MORE SLEEPS IN MY OWN BED (or one just like it) before I lock myself in the gallery. Come and make art with me! Mwah sweeties!

Week, End

Wrap-up.
Fri: Neotokyo was great- gothed up in wedding dress, gas mask, blue flower headdress, danced my arse off, and was home by 2:30 or so. Yay.
Saturday: Went on a crazy journey from Vanishing Point 1st birthday party, to drinking jugs at the courtym, to Stink Pit at Phoenix with My Latest Trashy Mate and a few random heads I recognised. It was FABULOUS, all of it.
Sunday: Jets lost 23-22 due to a sneaky field goal from Auckland in the last 15 minutes or so. Poo.
Then Gurlesque, which was full of gorgeous women and trannies doing gorgeous things without many clothes on and I schmoozed and got cropped and wrestled and cuddled and... was a sweet night, even if it did all get a little surreal at the end!

Badly Behaved Zoo

I was very naughty and rude to someone about their beliefs today, and it is a source of shame and embarrassment that I let myself get so carried away in a fit of passion and frustration. Try as I might, I just CAN'T seem to manage to be respectful of people who are queer and female and yet choose to engage in misogynist and homophobic institutions. Heck, I TRY to get it, really, but to me it always just looks like they are being abused and going 'its okay, the Church doesn't want me to get married or have the same power as a man but hey, he still loves me so I'll just keep coming back for more and maybe ONE day I'll earn some respect'. I really DON'T understand it in any other terms, it makes no sense to me otherwise. Stockholm syndrome maybe?

Ja Ja Ja

Just signed up for German lessons, from the 28th May to start of July. Ja ja ja.

Leather Pride Week 2008

Get set for the hottest winter ever as Leather Pride Festival moves from May to the June long weekend this year. The festivities kick off with the festival launch on Sun 25th May and Fair Day at the Midnight Shift Hotel on Sunday 1st June. After two full weeks of events, exhibits and education the festival culminates with:

Pleasuredome Inquisition XVI
Sat 7th June 2008 10pm-8am

Inquisition is again being held at the Entertainment Quarter in Moore Park but there will be two venues- the Dome and the Forum. A walkway will adjoin the two areas. Dome is for dancing and the Forum is for prancing- Dark n’ dirty in the Dome just how you like it, and for those of you who relish in flaunting your finery the Forum is the place to be, with a photo room from 10pm-1am to capture that Kodak moment. Start planning those outfits now! Ticket pre-orders available at Hellfire.

$85 Members/ DSP $95 Kindred $120 General For online ticket pre-orders and more party info hit: www.sydneyleatherpride.org

Footy Mates

Jets on this Sunday at Henson Park, at 3pm, playing the Auckland Vulcans. Did I mention that the Bluebags be unbeaten this year? Woohoo! See you on the hill with a tin of KB, as usual.

How Boyish Or Girlish Are You?

Okay, is trite and silly but who can ever resist doing these quizzes? Try Howboyishorgirlishareyou?

My score:

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Where I Will Be Tonight

Dark, dirty electro and techno with DJs Sveta (Starfuckers, Big Day Out), NeoTokyo (Bloodlust) & Pornstar (Hellrazor). One night to dance ‘til the world disappears…

10pm til 6am. $3 drinks. $10 door entry.
Limited edition A1 poster prints for sale on the night.

Club 77, 77 William St Kings X.

USYD Queers

Pride Week is coming up at Sydney Uni, including:
Coming out by Candlelight, Tuesday 8 April, 6:30pm
Women's Film Night, Wed 9 April, 7pm
"Queer Debut" Prom-themed Party, Friday 11 April, 8pm.

For more info contact queerconvenors@usu.usyd.edu.au.

Show Me Some Spine

Last night the freeqy one went to work and I ended up feeling like one of those articulated snakes you buy in a toy store. AND it was pretty!

Two Girls For Every Zoo

Sly was quite quiet last night, but I still managed to get up to no good. The title of this post says it all really.

STINK PIT

I think I said something about not wanting to go out and get trashy next weekend but... STINK PIT IS ON SATURDAY AT PHOENIX. $10, Sonius, Moni, Butz. YUMMY. Anyone else up for it?

If I Was In Melbourne

I would go to this for sure:

'Upstart Alley VI - a night of bent cabaret including scarring spoken word, raucous rhymes, pervy performance and mixed up music.An event for all you freaks, queers, trans and straighties. Hosted by the subversively domestic Wife (Syd). Words from bryan Andy, Juan Lamas (Syd), Maria ZajkowskiRhymes from Emcee Pash. Live music and performance from the Transylvanian Gypsy KingsPlus tunes from Toupee and more!Saturday May 3rd, entry $10/12Doors open 8.30, show starts 9.30 sharp, party til 3amEvelyn Hotel 351 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy. Auslan interpreted event Attendant care can be organised and paid for- contact zoed@also.org.au - supported by The ALSO Foundation '

The Need To Bleed

I need to bleed, and tonight I get my wish courtesy of a certain Lion. I am happy, again.

inthewrongplaceness

If I were still in the UK, I just MIGHT bring myself to go to this new Kira O'Reilly piece, 'cos I LOVE her work (usually):

inthewrongplaceness (one more time with feeling)
Will be performed at Bluecoat Arts Centre, Liverpool12 - 6.30, Saturday 5th April as part of Happenstance, a weekend of programmed work that includes Yoko Ono, Franko B and Rajni Shah.inthewrongplacess (one more time with feeling)(A slow crushing dance with a pig cadaver for one person at a time.)I dream I am laying next to pigskin, pig alive but skin open to no interior.I am stroking the ears closely.The following day there will be a spit roasted pig.

Fancy Piece Of Sly Fun

Ah, the darling duo of Fancy Piece Productions will be performing at the Sly Fox tonight. And I'll be in the audience, after I go have myself some bloody fun... Mmmm.

Last Of The True Believers, Or, There But For The Grace Of God

Have found myself in the somewhat odd and very uncomfortable position of interactingw ith a person from my Deep Dark Christian Past. Yes, I have one, and No, I hadn't realised JUST how much I still resented being brought up in a patriarchal, misogynist, homophobic religion... as I ranted to her, and my poor old mother last night:

'I mean, I like all the 'do unto others' stuff, but it seems to be so long as the others aren't poor, black, children, women, heathens, queer... so much talk, so much damage done and so much bullshit. I refuse to engage with people who will not give me equal rights on the basis that I am nominally female and totally queer. Any religion, or God, who will deny me full participation on the grounds of gender or sexuality is not one I am interested in participating in. Oh, its all good because I get to emulate God's mother and breed? Umm, NO. Ordain me and then let me marry my girlfriend and maybe then we can talk.'

Heck, I'm a bit freaked out by remembering it (as much as I remember it at all- a lot is repressed so thoroughly that hopefully it will NEVER resurface) it could be worse. I could still be there.