Berlin Is A Bitch

Berlin is a bitch and I am in zir thrall. Fresh mistletoe at the blumen stand hothouse flowers bulbs bursting out of pots, big beer big coffee habit big pretzels big wurst big dogs everywhere the street the bars my friends apartment, big nostalgia big longing big yearning big angst too many girls with skin heads my ex on every corner. Hand shoes and altering my 10euro dirndl from the flea market, when I live here I doppelganger sauerkraut’s grandmother hats with chicken feathers coats furry scarves wrapped up pass-the-Zoo-parcel, your name is Zoo? well you smell better than a zoo laughs flirting dykes more beer more coffee more cheese more jam more rye bread. Red hanky yellow football socks black t-shirt from the leather shop, Deutsch bear pictures from the gay book store, all the chaps boys staring at me from calendars and postcards ads for darkrooms and dungeon hotels, men men men men men everywhere me flagging boots polished eyes down up down cruising subtle not so… successful. Strasse after strasse, traffic coming from the wrong side can’t remember to look left or right just wait for lights or try and cross fingers, keyboards strange too lost my @ sign again and y swapped with z can’t even type my own name without thinking about it. Kalte wind scraps of snow caught up in nooks of trees mind the hund scheisse bicycles on the footpath between scrappy punks in multiple hoodies babies in enormous perambulator incubators tiny stunned sleepy eyes peeking out confused under some seriously serious swaddling. Intoxicated outside her previous residence, lost in translation and past desire, giant salty pretzel from the imbiss where you from? I don’t remember clearly unclearly its been a while somewhere warm where my mother tongue calls me to dinner of snags not wursts somewhere my words rhyme and rhythm somewhere my power supply doesn’t need adapting or my origin explanation.

Losing The Plot

I have had so many losses of late: my old laptop, a sock in the hostel dryer, my scarf in a drunken haze, my alcohol at Bangkok customs, my diamantes on the dancefloor at Phoenix, and now my camera which is not working AGAIN… These are material matters true, but material often matters. It does seem like I am being told something, but what? Just let go and lose it?

Dirndl Dykes

This is from Tuesday 20th:

Austrian dykes are hot. And one in particular was very yummy to lock lips with last night. And no, not those lips (keep it clean- what do you think I am?). Big night, much flirting and drinking bier and kissing and a vague recollection of something about The Macarena, two girls and a pole. Woke up with possibly the worst hangover I have had in a long time, the whole gut-churning toilet-loving can’t eat can barely drink truly poisoned and toxic type of deal. Vile, simply vile. Not made better by the fact my alarm did not go off and so I was half an hour late to the conference. Mercifully I was not presenting until the afternoon, so had time to get it together enough to hold the paper still whilst I read it and deliver a kind of fumbling yet entertaining paper (my usual style even when not with hangover head). People liked it, and seemed genuinely interested, and the conference is full of fascinating and friendly folk and the organisers are not the tossers one would expect from our email exchanges and there have been papers on Turkish hammans and Jewish menstrual rituals and the Spartacus gay travel guide and representations of angels and eunuchs and in Byzantine art and… good nerdy fun all round, with some rather trashy peoples.

Haven’t been much inclined to go out at night, which I think for the first part was due to being knackered and then the fact that it is freezing and the days are short doesn’t help with motivation or energy levels and my light hours have been pretty much running about so its nice to just flop out in the hostel and chat with my room-mates and other randoms. I am often thinking that I am not doing enough, and forget that most people, myself very much included, need down time to process and recharge and contemplate and chill. Thinking tomorrow night I might hit the queer bar again, though possibly not drinking this time, or at least not as much. Have a meeting with someone in Vienna on Thursday, and would most certainly be best to not turn up mangled. Two times in a week is at least one time too much! I think some of not wanting to go out is about being on my own too, and even though I often travel solo it and mostly quite enjoy it can get a bit ‘hmm, here I am at the café with my book and nobody to talk to’ sometimes, and the social and mental energy required to negotiate strangers and language barriers and landscapes can make it seem very tempting to stay in the familiar surrounds of one’s accommodation where the menu is in your native language and you don’t have to ask where the bathroom is.

Being in Austria is odd, as quite obviously it is very similar to Germany, and it all reminds me of how much I still sometimes miss being with SK. Yes, it was horrendous a lot of the time, and no, I do not think that even if I wanted it there would be any way it could work as a ‘thing’ with her, and yes I am still trying to patch my ego back together but… but….but the Wurst und the Knudels und the Bier und the Schnee remind me of her cooking and her bedrunkeness and staying at her parents’ place running through the snowy forest laughing… Its hard to remember it all, still.

Cute Bois Needed

For Cherrie:

I'm looking for a young, cute 'boi' to appear on the cover of the Jan issue of Cherrie magazine. Inside there'll be a feature on bois, with comments from them about their lives, identities etc, so the cover boi will also need to answer a few questions. I'm also looking for a couple more bois who'd be willing for their pic to appear inside the mag with the feature and to answer a couple of questions. I'm looking for people who identify as bois in their day-to-day life, not just for performance.

If you fit the bill (or know anyone who does), please contact Katrina Fox, editor of Cherrie magazine on editorcherrie@e-p.com.au ASAP. Please attach a pic of yourself so we can see what you look like. The cover shoot will be done by our art director, Shannon Keogh in Sydney (unless someone has an amazing shot we can use for the cover!).

Cheers :)
Katrina

Me And Franko B

London is going to do my head in, in a VERY good way! Like, FRANKO B!!!! I almost crying already....

Don’t Leave Me This Way is a brief, intense work that marks a formal departure from Franko B’s blood-based practice. Here, his body is presented naked and unpainted, seated on a raised plinth or altar. A bank of bright lights floods the audience to the point of averting their gaze. Carefully choreographed with lighting designer Kamal Ackarie, this “blinding” technique mimics the effect that Franko’s bleeding body has often had on audiences, whilst opening up a new range of responses. Franko allows the audience time to look at his body and approach it as a sculptural form, a form heavily tattooed and scarred, voluptuous in shape and size. It is an unusual entity and lends itself well to the gaze, a tendency that the artist encounters daily in public and which he has exploited to great effect in performance, over a period of fifteen years.

Just Showing Off, Really

With these pix of:

Furry Crocs

Me in Salzburg wearing my furry hat

and

A great stencil from the artists quarter in Vienna

New Cherrie To Pop

Okie, so I'm a bit behind and half of you have probably seen it but hey, I do what I can!

Yes, that’s the CHERRIE magazine that’s been all over the national and international media in the past week after they picked up on our November issue in which Missy Higgins came out as ‘not so straight’.In this issue we’ve got features on:Queer chicks and their tattoosProfile of I.kandi, Sydney’s gender-bending ‘drag fag’Interview with lesbian singer Beth Ditto from Gossip.Natural skincare and cosmeticsPlus our regulars: fashion spread, rant and rave, activism, net troll, film, music, book and DVD reviews, stars & tarot and cool shit to feast your eyes on.Pick up your copy of CHERRIE at your usual hang-out. If you live interstate (outside Sydney/NSW), check out our Myspace BLOG on where to find CHERRIE interstate. www.myspace.com/cherriemagazine And remember, if you can’t pick up a copy, you have the option of subscribing to the mag from our website OR read the mag completely free of charge on our website at www.cherrie.com.au

Transmen, Translated

Friend of friend is doing this. Support it! Now! You know what happens when folk don't get involved... a big nothing! So.... email Jess and see how YOU can get involved. Yes, Midsumma is not in Sydney, but I'm sure you could SEND something by snail mail or this fabulous email-system we have these days...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘ Transmen translated’
Photographs for Exhibition during Midsumma
Seeking casual
* Transmasculine * portraits, self-portraits, snaps.
Images to be used as part of large photo wall.
Artwork is based on Gender Dysphoria and researches historical and contemporary images of butch.
Please contact me if you are interested in contributing your pics or have any queries regarding the show at all
Cheers,
Jess Moss
Jesslyn99@yahoo.com.au

HOWARD OUT HAPPY DANCE

Still can't fully believe it! Have to keep checking news online and emails. Wow... we did it! Is a good thing too, 'cos if the Aus public were stupid enough to do THAT again I would probably have stayed here!

Mehr Schlaffen, Grrr!

Slept through my first Saturday night in Berlin, entirely missing a queer party. I am just EXHAUSTED here! HOW CAN I BE THIS SLEEPY ALL OF THE TIME? Is it the kalte? The air-conditioned dryness that leaves my nose bleeding and my skin parched? Not drinking enough wasser? The over-stimulation from having to think in forgein and negotiate strange places? The lack of proper sunlight most days? So many trips on trains and early flights? It seems that by the time I do a day of running around I am pretty much useless, just fall asleep after dinner or sometimes before... I want the nightlife, I want to boogie! Hmm, at least being Berlin I can always go out big-time on a Sunday night! And today is enormous flea market, and then a dear friend comes to visit, and I still have over a week and lots of art to eat and shopping to do and people to meet up with! If I can stay awake for it all... any ideas on how to get my energy levels back up? A sun-lamp? Four coffees a day isn't doing it, nor getting so many early nights. Vitamins?

Ah, Vienna

'Now in Vienna there's ten pretty women' sang Leonard Cohen, omitting to mention the gazillion of so REALLY RUDE and unsmiling folk that populate the town, all willing to look sourly upon happy tourists. Grr, even the cops gave me a bum steer with directions to my hostel! Maybe it was my unsual head and dress sense, maybe I smiled too much or looked to enthusiastic? Whatever, the city is so gorgeous and so full of fabulous architecture and art that even the grumpybum demeanour of its inhabitants couldn't quite kill the appeal. Met up with a lovely Canadian boy from the conference and we went exploring, through endless squares full of enormous statues and fountains (oh, the SCALE of the place! I felt tiny!) and the Xmas market and bought a rose from a lady whilst we ate crepes and went to the Modern Art Museum, which was simply extraordinary. FOUR levels of contemporary Chinese art, some of which I have put pix of here, and two of the Vienna Action Movement. Oh my goddess, it was mindblowing, could barely comprehend the scope and volume of it... and then, in this BIG city, the Vienna Opera! Tosca for only 3.5euro, in the standing stall. Sore feet and back from 2 hours of queuing and 3 of standing watching (after a day of walking around the city), but well worth it!

Schnell! Schnell!

Quick update to let you now is all is good, conference ROCKED and my paper was a hit, found gaybar and snogged very cute girl for hours the other night, off to Vienna tomorrow to meet lacto-picture lady and then Berlin on Saturday! BIG BIG YAYS!

Snail Mail

I think I forgot to ask most of you before I left- can you email me your snail mail addresses please? Complete with postcodes? I LOVE to send parcels and postcards and surprises from abroad, but with so many of you I know the street and what the house looks like but not the number! So, if you want a special something in your letterbox send me your details… Danke darlings!

Salzburg, So Far

Day One: Arrive in Vienna, eventually find trains to Salzburg, and bus to hostel, settle in and wander around the city taking photos of everything! Find a beautiful clown busking in a square and he blows me a kiss. Stroll through food markets past stalls selling huge hunks of ham and cheese, pretzels, crepes, kebabs, fruit and veg, fish… past frozen fountains and shops with window display of dirndls (I WANT ONE, but all I can find is ultra-expensive brocade numbers from 100 Euros+), past fountains in their winter perspex boxes, old people in felt hats with feathers, through shops full of reindeer Xmas decorations… staring up in wonder at churches and abbeys and castles nestled into mountainsides or perched atop alpine peaks as horses pull carriages of tourists around the streets… its like a fairytale city, the icy green river and the milky white skies…

Day Two: Sound of Music tour. Singing along to the soundtrack in the van, giggling at the gazebo whilst discussing Lisle’s appalling lack of feminism in wanting ‘someone older and wiser, telling me what to do’, taking pix outside mansions and in gardens and by lakes and snow-covered fields. There was an appalling lack of suitably tacky merchandise, which was hideously disappointing- just a handful of average fridge magnets and some postcards really! So stocked up on Krampus goods instead, and if you don’t know who Krampus is just you wait for Christmas you naughty creatures… then the Salt Mine tour in the afternoon, highlights including the compulsory sexy blue overalls, TWO different and very steep miner’s slides/slippery dips to whiz down, a little train which looked like something the Seven Dwarfs would ride around on, and a trip across an underground river on a barge whilst a supremely tacky light display carried on around us. Heehee! I LOVE BEING A TOURIST, except for the expense of it all. Looking forward to settling down on known couches and floors and beds and being able to cook at ‘home’ and not spend quite so much money on accommodation and food. All the more for cheap/standby/student opera tickets and museum entries and gallery fees, am constantly finding more ‘culture’ to play with. Oh, its almost endlessly exciting!

Tried to go to gay bar, but was simply too exhausted. Combination of minor jet lag and acclimatising to the cold I think, plus the effort of dragging luggage about and having to THINK about everything (is this toothpaste? ja, zahncreme, okay… umm, now, what is shower gel called again? dusche something?). Still, there are plenty of bars and clubs awaiting me, and as this is the strictly business end of the trip I shouldn’t mind too much that I sleep and write for a lot of it. Need to be in some fit state for the conference, and with a paper written too!

Day Three: STILL KNACKERED. But almost have my paper written, and wandered about the city hiking up the castle and the abbey and generally exploring the back streets and other shopping areas, through the spectacular cemetery at St Peter’s church, and the church itself. Attempted to go to the Museum of Modern Art, but apparently it was ‘closed for the changing of the exhibitions’ so I just wandered back to the hostel via the ice-skating square and people drinking gluhwein and the remnants of the Christkindl market… Came back to the hostel to write some more, suddenly was EXHAUSTED and had a little sleep before dinner, which turned into about three hours, and then got up and was too sleepy to even contemplate going out again. Not sure what is going on, I have slept SO much yet I can’t seem to wake up for more than half a day! It can’t be jet-lag anymore, and I thought I was getting used to the cold, and I haven’t even had, or wanted, a beer since I got here so I’m not hung-over… A bloke at the bar suggested maybe it’s the altitude? I’m thinking a combination of all of it, plus the dry air. Despite all the precipitation it seems that humidity is awfully low, at least according to my dehydrated and ouchy sinuses. Hopefully I’ll wake up properly sometime soon, as its getting kind of tedious and its going to be a long cold air-conditioned and over-heated winter… More water? More food? Not more coffee, as that just seems to make me worse? Hmm. Can’t spend every night in Salzburg watching the Sound Of Music in the hostel, can I? Actually, bugger it, its kind of FUN, and cosy, to be surrounded by a bunch of fellow tourists watching a schmaltzy kitschy old film, in the city it was filmed in. And I’ve plenty more adventures to have, so a few days getting my bearings and my energy levels up are not too big a worry.

Garbage Caught Inside The Living

Nowt to do with my travels, but found it the other day in an old collection of quotes, and wanted to share...

Here, the country of childhood no longer hurt, for the country of marriage no longer existed. Here, at the border, in the midst of the puddles released by the torrents of that month, women found the fish they wanted to serve for dinner. When fish smell too much, they’re definitely dead.
If childhood had been the season for sickness, these fish, these scales of fingernail, heralded the body of health. The religious body. Blood, touch of flesh, name here the sacred personages and holy Vestals: hair, eyes, lips, cheeks, bones, muscles, mucous tissues, organs that smell when dead when alive, garbage caught inside the living, marrow, air, water, limbs caught at their upper ends to the torso, ligaments. Name that Virgin Who sustains me in the middle of my heart, Purity, Who overflows into this river of blood, these emotions. All her emotions and secretions are holy. Perhaps even a certain murder.
Sustain this dream.

-Kathy Acker
'In Memoriam to Identity' (65)

Schnee, Scheisse and Salami

Wrote a whole pile of blogs and emails the other day on my laptop, and oy now found a place where I can send them from! So there's a few...

Ah, a mixture of my own and a LOT of other people’s incompetence made it one of those journeys where I could have just cried half the time if I weren’t so excited about travelling. No matter how pissed off I am, the second we start picking up speed on the runway and lift off I just get all giggly and happy and don’t care anymore that I spent 9 hours flying to Bangkok subsisting on cheese and fruit, because YET AGAIN my vegetarian meal had not been ordered. Blank looks, ‘did you book a veggie meal?’ ‘umm, YES, like a MONTH AGO when I booked the flights’. Grrr. Then check in for flight to Vienna- ‘am I listed for vegetarian meals?’, ‘no, but I will call them now’, ‘danke’. Mealtime comes around, no veggie meal for Zoo, more blank looks. Still, they managed to rustle me up some rice and pasta and veggies, which was better than yet another cheese platter (as much as I love cheese, there is only so much one can consume in that period of time), and the only hot meal I had in over 20 hours of flying. No soy joy either, and with that much dairy consumed my sinuses were freaking out by the time I am half-way to Austria. Of course, before this my brand new moisturiser had been confiscated at Sydney airport for being 25mls over the 100ml liquid limit. This was my fault though. As another bonus, I bought some vodka and bourbon duty-free at Sydney airport, at a cost of $40. Collect it when I get through security, in its plastic duty free shopping bag. Get to Bangkok, go through security and it gets confiscated. ‘But I bought it duty free! Here is the receipt! It’s still stapled up in the bag!” No, being over 100mls it needed to be properly sealed up in some special sealed clear plastic contraption, which was obviously too much effort for the morons at the Sydney duty free place to bother with so I just get shafted. Byebye to Zoo’s alcohol. $50 worth of skincare and booze lost in one trip. Get to Vienna, rested and jumping up and down because it is SNOWING! EXCITED ZOO! Ticket to Salzburg is 43E, which is much more than anticipated. Go to coffee shop, ask for ‘kleiner mocca’ like it says on the sign, assistant nods at me, asks ‘strong?’, ‘ja’, and then hands me a long black coffee. I am too over it all to care about arguing, and its hot and I stand in the snow on the train station. Decide to get a snack from the machine, put in money, think I am hitting number for some yummy chocolate coated biscuits but in a fit of vagueness manage to ask for a salami roll creation instead- most probably the only meat product in the whole cabinet. But heck, I don’t really care, the snow is on my face and so I stand on the platform stuffing myself with black coffee and a vending machine salami roll and alles gut, ja? And the moments of sheer bliss, sipping reasonably decent whisky whilst reading Chemical Palace and listening to Rammstein on the audio channel (awful, but funnily appropriate) are well worth most of the aggravation and stuffing about. I even feel like I could write a conference paper…

So now I am on a train heading to Salzburg, through tunnels and past white fields and houses with deer skulls and antlers hanging by the door, and the sun bright behind the clouds and a trolley coming round selling Pringles and hot chocolate. I get to panicking that my laptop battery is running low and I want to keep working and suddenly- MAGIC! I realise there is a laptop powerpoint right next to me, so I find my adaptor and keep on writing! No idea where I downloaded my Honours thesis though, which is a bit of a problem as I wanted to use some of it for the paper. Hmm.

Truly Blessed

Well, 5.5 hours 'til takeoff. I am hungover, scatty, overwhelmed, and counting my blessings...

Last night's bon voyage at the Sly Fox was very special. SO MANY PEOPLE CAME ALONG TO WISH ME WELL! I am utterly blown away, yet again, by the love and support and and volume and sheer joy of my 'logical family'. To walk in and see so many of my nearest and dearest, so many beautiful, creative, generous, kinky, queer, transgressive, and brave people... well, I almost can't comprehend it! You were there for 'lil old me? Blush!

Oh, I'm going to miss you all greatly, but will keep in touch and bring you pressies and send you postcards (if you wish to receive one, please forward me your snail mail address) and I'm only ever an email away. Love you all heaps. See you in February.

New Zoo

Today I scored new blood (surprise!), new boots (for a swap) and a new haircut (cheap and magic). Its like a New Zoo, innit?

Bleeding Like A Bitch

For some reason today it seemed necessary to wear my white knickers with the black polka dots and cute ribbon bow. Then after 18 months of so or contraceptive implant-induced amenorrhea I find my girly-bits drained and my undergarments stained again. It was unexpected, even if I had been suspicious about my crampy stirrings and tender tits of late. Usually the implants last at least 2 and half years, and this one has only been in since June 06 or so. My doctor seemed almost as surprised as I am to find myself in the Feminine Hygeine aisle of the pharmacist. I see her about it tomorrow, though its unlikely much can be done about the present situation.

For all I do like blood, I find this turn of events entirely unsettling. I keep expecting dogs to sniff at my skirts, I imagine that everyone can smell my sex seeping out of me. I feel adolescent, all stuffed with cotton and walking funny. Its not like I didn't go through this process for many years- I did. But I never really wanted to, and the joy of making it stop was pure and complete.

Only women bleed. Girl, you're a woman now. The Curse and the Wise Wound. My unfulfilled womb crying tears of disappointment at another unfertilised moon. The abject, leaky, feminine body, all abundance and flood and disrespect of boundaries. Suddenly my body is really at odds with my concept of it, and myself. At least this horror didn't happen on the plane.

(True, my reaction is doubtless irrational in scale, and probably a touch hysterical in nature. But heck, what more could you expect from a woman held hostage by her biology?)

TRa_NNi PANiC

Oh, imagine the outfits one could make! The shows one could do! The genders one could be!

I am expecting LOTS of photos and reports of filthiness from this one...

NDA- Unite For Aboriginal Land Rights

This has come through on a few lists now:

National Day of Action – Unite for Aboriginal Land Rights! STOP THE NT INVASION. LAND RIGHTS NOW!

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18 10am at The Block in Redfern.

Wear Red. bring your banners. flags. your (angry) mob... grrr. and packed lunches!
March from The Block to Victoria Park where more is happening! Speakers from affected NT communities – find out what’s really going on that you’re not being told!! We write this in solidarity with Indigenous groups who have organised this rally. We want to bring as much of our mob as possible in support of these communities.

If the government, cops and general workings of the Australian state can be so damaging to indigenous people and communities, they can just as easily turn on any other community – women, immigrants, workers, queers, or anybody else. We work together not (exclusively) out of our good nature, but because we’re interested in seeing the dismantling of the system of privilege and power which works against so many people and for so few.

A bunch of queers and others will be meeting at the block by the big pink flag. And we’re the ones with the smouldering good looks. We may have catchy chants with synchronized dance moves worked out by then so come prepared to strut your chanty stuff. Or just come.

Trans Day Of Remembrance

Sunday November 18th at Bar Me (154 Brougham Street (cnr William Street) Kings Cross).

1:00pm Welcome and Announcements
1:05pm "Surviving Life and Death on the Edge" norrie mAy-welby
1:30pm Light refreshments,with Jade Starr playing appropriate songs.
2:05pm Panel Discussion
3:05pm Pit Stop
3:10pm Movie: different for Girls (food and drink available).
5:00pmThank you and goodbye.

Presented by Sex And Gender Education (SAGE) and TGFluff Transgender Support.

Scene Slut

This next fact may mean I am officially a scene slut. I appeared in BOTH queer rags social snapshot pages this week: with Madame P, Ultra and Tom from Hellfire and myself at Kiki and Herb being in the paper copy of SSO and then this rather fetching shot would be me after a trip in the rain, a few beers and a lot of sweat-making dancing at Phoenix in my 'Halloween outfit', as featured in the online scene slut pages of SX. Oh dear.

Update Of Adventures

* Newtown Festival today was a delight, as ever. Vegieburger lunch, yummy juice, plenty of sunshine, ran into my latest flirtation and hung out for a bit, caught up with random people.

* Sculptures By The Sea on Friday, with abovementioned flirtation and her dog. Big things (teaspoon, figures, ball etc- see pix) perched on rocks and clifftops and grassy slopes, as usual (though seemed awfully repetitive this year, even more so than past years). Icecreams from the kiosk at Tamarama, then beer and chatting at her place and a nightcap at the Bears.

* Photo shoot on Thursday. Somehow ended up looking like a virginal Dickensian wretch from Oliver Twist, in my top hat and huge septum tusk and white lace and corset just looking wickedly cheeky and innocent! Oh, and then I did 3 forehead piercings, pulled them out and... mmmm... taste of Zoo-Juice on my teeth, the sensation of seeping, trickling... realised as I was walking through the Devonshire St tunnel on the way home that my pupils were as big as saucers...

Report From The Den

Managed to get myself spanked, pierced, cut, flogged, knifed, cuddled, petted, beered and bulbed last night, thanks to a very special mermaid and two rather mischievous lions. Giggly, delirious, slipping into a blissful sleep on the floor, surrounded my some of my favourite pervy pals in various states of disarray and dreaming. Sweet...

SuperGonads

Just saw the most bizarre take-off of the BrandPower ad on comedy show The Late Shift. It was for Super Gonads. Available in the Genital Augmentation aisle of your supermarket. Odd. You should have SEEN these things! Enormous, and shrink-wrapped.

Nursey's Breast Milk Chocolate

Yes Mommy

Tristan Taormino asks in this week's VV piece 'The Rise of MILFs and Mommies in Sexual-Fantasy Material':

'Are mommies the new lust object? Other people's moms certainly are; that's usually what a MILF is. But could MILFs pave the way for other mommies, like the kind in mommy/boy and mommy/girl fantasy role-play, where the mommy is much closer to home? Could Mommy finally step out of the shadow of Daddy?

Now I'm not just talking about porn. In s&m, queer culture, and fantasy role-play, "Daddy" is one of the most popular archetypes around. Search queer or kinky personals for the word daddy, and you'll have plenty of potential dates to choose from. There's a level of comfort and familiarity with daddy play, which is not so much about eroticizing incest as it is creating a specific kind of dominant/submissive dynamic, where "masters" are drill sergeants and "daddies" are loving mentors. There are way more self-identified daddies—both male and female—than mommies in those communities. Why?'

Clown Power

This is hilarious! White Flour! White Flowers! Tight Shower! Wife Power!

A Time To Remember

Well I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible

- The Smiths
'Shakespeare's Sister'

Ah, have going through so much old paperwork as I packed, things that I couldn't part with years ago now going into the recycling... joint account statements, documentations of coupledom... but then there are other glimpses into the past that I can't bear to part with, that remind me of how far I have travelled and what obstacles I have overcome and why I do not want to ever go back to some of my previous haunts unless it is absolutely neccessary, and why I still long to lurk in others... its quite a mix and quite a shock somehow to uncover scraps of absolute joy, delight, passion,melodrama, emotional abuse, infatuation, obsession, requited lust, unrequited lust, insanity, addiction... all tangled up and recorded in queer press clippings, photographs, diary entries, birthday cards, notes to self, wrapping paper, recipts...

Mood: Nostalgic, and optimistic

Kiss Me Quick

Today's SMH brings the following news:

A woman bit off her ex-boyfriend's lower lip as they were kissing in bed, likely disfiguring him permanently, authorities said. The 49-year-old man and the woman kissed several times Monday night when, without provocation, she bit off his lip and spat it out, he told sheriff's deputies... Deputies reported finding the man's lip on the bedroom floor, covered with cat hair. Doctors at a hospital were unable to reattach the lip, and deputies said he was likely to remain disfigured.

FTMs And Pregnancy

I don't know what to make of all of this, really. But is certainly worth mentioning here! Two links that were sent to me by Bastian...

The first link is to Faster Than Life, and is a Q&A regarding the possibilty of FTM folk having safe and successful pregnancies and the obvious issues around being a 'pregnant man'.

The second is a review of Transparent, 'a documentary about 19 female-to-male transsexuals living in the United States who have given birth and, in all but a few stories, gone on to raise their biological children. ' Wow. Has anyone here seen this?

Sculpture By The Sea Is On Now!

Until the 18th November, so if you are up to the weather (or it gets finer) get yourself down there! Check out the website first if you must...

The Church Of Kathellisism

The Barefoot Chantreuse, aka Kath Ellis, is performing tomorrow night at Buzz Bar on King St from 8pm. If you need a reason to go, other than my impeccable judgement, then check out her myspace here and believe the hype:

'The church of Kathellisism is a mixture of Ben Folds meets the Hunners meets etta James meets hedwig and the angry inch. "She's like an aussie Bjork!" - Krispen Khulle Kath Ellis and Hugh Coffey have inspired a cult following in Newtown and the inner-west over the last 10 years with their previous incarnation, Hurbris. Gutsy , hilarious, raunchy , Funky, C.O.K., have gathered an all-star line up Drums - John Howel – Leonardos Bride Bass - Scott Leishman – Jackie Ozowsky Horn Section Trevor Brown – Waiting For Guinness Stu West – Bridie Obrien Nick Bowd – Mothership Orchestra Festivals include…. Peats Ridge Festival Cockatoo Island Tamworth Newtown Festival Gigs in Oz Opera House Studio Basement Annandale hopetoun Excelsior La Bar Sandrinham Hotel In Melbourne The Espy Pony Club In Brisbane Rics Bar '

Perhaps Has Something To Do With Kissing

My own attempts to write an article for Nerve magazine on the erotics of breastfeeding has made me realise how impoverished our language is whne seeking to describe a form of sexuality existing outside coitus between grown-ups. How to portray the dreamy "circle of love" as Penelope Leach puts it, without being sentimental? Or the elation and tiredness following childbirth similar to the obsessive first moment of a love affair? How to describe an act of penetration by erectile tissues which resists the comparison to fucking or fellatio, but perhaps has something to do with kissing. How to describe what it feels like, exactly, to be milked by a tiny mouth. To be pulled down by suckling, and hormones, and weariness. To be kneaded in the stomach by tiny feets, to have my hair pulled by blindly clutching fists. And, perhaps most erotic of all, what to make of the wordless sounds emanating from the back of my baby's throat, so reminiscent of breathless adult passion. (26)

-Fiona Giles
'Its The Writing Not The Sex'
Australian Author, April 1999 p20-26

This is inspiring, not for its baby content so much (we know what I think about that) but for its eroticisation of the act of suckling. Makes me want a warm mouth on my tingle nipple...

What Zoo Did Today/Yesterday

* Contacted a fabulous man in Lyon, who maybe can help me organise tattoo tit work there. Fingers crossed. He sounds like he might be lots of fun regardless.
* Had a huge and entertaining online chat with the Bastian of Lyon. This led to a possible performance (of the squat bar variety) there. Fun!
* Returned my library books.
* Packed some stuff.
* Edited my book chapter and submitted it! Yay! Sure the referencing is still quite dodgy, but it reads well anyway.
* Woke up with massive stomach cramps.
* Watched The Bill. And a lot of crap TV.
* Put lots of music on my laptop.
* Bought groceries.
* Had champagne and yummy cheese at Melbourne Cup festivities. My horsies didn't win though.
* Made a parcel to send OS.
* Totally crashed walking along King St, and felt like crying, and couldn't work out why. Tired? Sickly? Stressed? Ja.

Hmm. Time to sleep. When I wake up I will pack more, organise costumes, cook, eat, post things, pack more, write the outline I promised my supervisor, go to work for a few hours... Hmm, feeling like it is under control somehow?

Shall We Talk About The Weather?

Wow, what about all this rain eh? Was planning to take a cute girl on a beach trip to see Sculptures by the Sea and a trip to the women's pool sometime before I leave but at this rate... Still, is lovely to lie in bed and listen to it pelting down on the roof and the road... and it makes a cup of tea and a bickie seem so much more delectable somehow! Ah, the simple things in life!

My Favourite New Patch

By the LegoMan, reads:

What kind of meat is this? Is this safe to eat? I am sorry- I did not mean to offend you. May I borrow a towel to wipe up the blood? Why is the water black? Would you please take me to a clean hospital?

TRANNI PANIC

Saturday 17 November 2007
10PM -LATE
@ The Club (Downstairs at The Oxford, aka Gilligans Discoteque)

TRANNI . TRANSMAN . DRAG QUEEN . SISTA GIRL . HERM . QUEER . LO-HO .NO-HO . DRAG KING . SISSY . TRANS-SEXUAL . GRRRRL . CROSS DRESSER . INTERSEX . TRANSGENDER . LADY BOY . TRANSVESTITE . TRANNI BOI . INVERT. BUTCH . TRANSFAG . BOI . FAIRIE . HERMAPHRODITE . SHIM . GENDEREUPHORIC . YOUR PLACE . OUR PLACE . MY PLACE and our friends .

$10 entry (10% door to The Gender Centre)
$5 Long Island Ice Teas available from 11-1

DJs and Performers announced soon!

In The Ghetto

The Newtown Hotel has been closed down. (Hopefully nowt to do with the dispaly Nanna and I put on the other night)Bleeding heck! What hope is there for the ghetto now? Bank- TOTALLY DESTROYED. Oxford- turned into Zanzibar (getting better but still quite dykephobic if you're there on the wrong night). Impy- currently being renovated, retaining its original 'character' or some such blather apparently but I seriously have my doubts. And now, Sydney's longest surviving gaybar is closed down without a scrap of warning, a proper farewell, one last snog or pick up... where are we to go? The Townie? The Coopers? Where? Just spend every night at Slox? Arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh!

Sleazy Cabbies- The SX Article

Ah, it is fabulous to have friends in the media. The most amazing Katrina Fox followed up my 'creepy cabbies' email to her with this article in SX. I had't even read it and I had at least two people mention it to me when I was out clubbing, so its good to know that the message is getting out there. Now we just need to get the cabbies to realise that getting sleazy with 'female' customers, or anyone really, is not acceptable behaviour! Grrr!

Diamantes Are A Zoo's Best Friend

I lost my favourite diamante necklace at Phoenix on Saturday night. Something made me look down and I could no longer see it glittering at me, I searched the floor, asked the staff, informed my friends so they could keep an eye out for it. But still it is gone from me. In shock- I had that piece for at least 15 years or so! It has been with me through many parties, many adventures (and as a friend reminded me, at least one fumbling 'coming out'-type girlytogirly experience). Still... maybe I needed to let it go? Maybe some budding drag queen out there needed the extra sparkle, maybe it has just gone for a wander and will return when I least expect it (La Infanta Galaxina- my kewpie doll pendant- did that once and gave me quite a scare), maybe it fell off when I was outside having a ciggie and got swept into a drain by the torrential rain and will next be seen by human eyes when it washes up at Bondi and some old geezer searching for coins with a metal detector finds it... So, happy trails dear diamantes, may your journey be joyous!

Kicked Out *Call for Submissions*

"Kicked Out" Call for Submissions:
Edited by: Sassafras Lowrey*
Publisher: Homofactus Press
Deadline: March 1, 2008

Kicked Out is a new anthology, which uniquely seeks to tell the tales of former queer youth and current queer youth who were forced to leave home because of their sexuality and/or gender identity. This anthology will tell our collective stories of survival, weaving together descriptions of abuse, and homelessness with poignant accounts of the ways in which queer community
centers offered sanctuary, and the power and importance of creating our own chosen families in the face of losing everything we have ever known. Kicked Out offers advice and wisdom to the queer youth of today from those who have been in their shoes. Additionally, it provides the opportunity for readers to get a glimpse into the world of those queer youth who as a result of
circumstance have to leave home, while simultaneously shattering the stereotypes of who queer youth are, and what they have the potential to become.

Kicked Out is a collection of stories of those of us who have survived the experiences of having to leave home as minors as a result of our gender and/or sexual identities; and it tells the tales of our queer survival. These are the stories of overcoming obstacles, not simply surviving but
thriving in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity. Kicked Out will explore the diversity of our experiences across lines race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, and geographic region celebrating our differences, and showcases the ways in which they have contributed to our unique experiences.

Possible topics include but are not limited to:
*How being forced to leave home as a minor continues to impact your adult
life
* What happened to you when you left home and how you survived
* Words of wisdom for today's homeless queer youth—what you wished someone
had told you
* Survival through the creation of "chosen family"
* Success through adversity- overcoming a troubled past

Submissions should be between 1,500 and 2,500 words in length and previously unpublished. Submit your piece via e-mail in .doc format to KickedOutAnthology@gmail.com. Multiple submissions per contributor are welcome. Please include a short biography and contact information with your submission. Submissions must be received no later than March 1, 2008;
contributors are encouraged to submit early. Rights revert to the authors upon publication. Contributors whose work appears in the anthology will receive TBA free copy(ies) as well as ongoing royalties. Visit us online at www.myspace.com/kickedoutanthology .

NEWTOWN FESTIVAL

Oh, I am so happy that this is on before I leave! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

2007 Newtown Festival
Sunday 11th November
9:30am - 5:30pm

Camperdown Memorial Park, Corner of Lennox & Australia St. NewtownThe Newtown Festival is the principal fundraiser for the Newtown Neigbourhood Centre (NNC). The NNC is a grass-roots, not-for-profit organisation providing services to those in need in our community including, please visit us as www.newtowncentre.org Newtown Festival is a stomping ground where people of all ages and sub cultures can converge and celebrate their diversity as one. Don't miss out on this rare and splendid day! It's going to be a corker!

*3 music and performance stages*Huge Kids and Family Zone*Writers Stage*Eco Area - workshops, stalls and talks*280 Market and Food Stalls*Street theatre and Art Spaces*Licensed Bars*Up to 80,000 attendees across the day*Great ambience and lots of luuvvv*Please respect this is a NO BYO and NO GLASS event!*

Oh Dear

As I wrote to the Lad...

'... ended up at The Newtown last night with Mayhem doing a Nanna Madge-to-Schapylle strip, then somehow I was convinced that as I was packing under my suit I should get up there in the quick money segment... just WRONG, with me swinging about a pole with my pants around my ankles, no top, and Nanna giving me head before I made some poor gayboy undo my harness and threw my packer into the audience (or thereabouts- I was totally munted and don't remember the details)... all of this to Rod Stewart's 'If you think I'm sexy'... and managed to get myself $50 and a couple of fans ;) oh, and before all this Dazza and Scragg had been getting blown by john howard in a bright orange station wagon down at sydney park, and having beat sex with him... geez, my life is just surreal!'

Day of the Dead feast tonight. Then doing an all-nighter at Uni to atone for my sins and lack of actual WORK this week!